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Shamus and Murphy fancy a couple of beers, but, between them, they can only raise a dollar. Murphy says: “Hang on a minute, I have an idea.” He goes into a butcher’s shop and comes out with a large sausage. “Are you crazy?” screams Shamus incredulously. “You’ve spent the last of our money.”
“Just follow me,” Murphy insists. He goes into the pub and orders two Guinnesses. Shamus turns white. “Now you’ve lost it,” he shrieks. “Do you know how much trouble we’re in?”
“Don’t worry,” replies Murphy. “When we’re finished, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.” The barman notices them, goes berserk and throws them out. They continue this trick, pub after pub, getting drunk for free.
At the 10th pub Shamus begs: “Murphy, tonight’s been great, but I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m drunk and me knees are killin’ me!”
“How do you think I feel?” replies Murphy. “I lost the sausage in the third pub.”

2007-06-16 19:28:33 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

25 answers

hahahahaha that one almost reduced me to tears lol

2007-06-17 09:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Doom 5 · 3 0

Yucks! I wonder who should I pity more! The embarrassment faced by Shamus, or the pain felt by Murphy.
:)

2007-06-21 03:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by Kay 5 · 2 0

Your proverbial coronary heart? Or, your actual coronary heart? the respond, of direction relies upon no longer on which coronary heart you advise, yet which thoughts you advise? relating the word, "he's lost his thoughts" we are in a position to deliver jointly that in case you probably did lose your proverbial coronary heart, you may desire to purely lose your 'thoughts' as in, your sanity, looking on what selections you chosen thereafter. With the thoughts as interior the 'ego' the thought methods that generally administration us, in case you lost your proverbial coronary heart , you're able to greater effective than probable lose your thoughts because it replaced into because of the fact then you definately would not function as a typical human anymore. you're able to grow to be robotic, lacking empathy, compassion and different human characteristics that impression the thoughts and make you human. you're able to grow to be a device, and their minds are something thoroughly distinctive. The question could grow to be, what may be the utilising stress of your new mindset? What could impression your judgements? in case you meant dropping your easily, actual coronary heart... nicely, then i could say specific and no to dropping your thoughts, any thoughts. specific, when you consider which you would be lifeless. Your physique as you knew it may no longer be performing on any point, and hence be devoid of thoughts. No, because of the fact it particularly is asserted the 'thoughts' in no way dies, yet overlaps from reincarnation to reincarnation, and is the reason why we inventory some conduct and memories with the aid of, generally being perceived as genetics, dream states or deja vu. notwithstanding it particularly is particularly your spirit or soul it particularly is doing the reincarnating, the soul comes from the single soul that inhabits each and every thing, and so your 'thoughts' that learns greater with each and every reincarnation is particularly your very individualism. devoid of it, you at the instant are not you.

2016-09-27 23:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by vaden 4 · 0 0

Someone is looking up to you. Don't let that person down. That was to funny HONEY your on a roll now....

2007-06-17 07:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by MissChatea 3 · 2 0

I know Murphy and my name in Gaelic is Seamus. Who's been talking.? LMIAOSFHISMS

2007-06-16 19:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by Jim Jnr M 6 · 3 0

Enough to put a man on the wagon.

2007-06-17 01:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 3 0

I have heard it before but funny enough to read the whole thing anyway....A STAR FOR YOU

2007-06-21 03:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by bernman101 6 · 2 0

Honey.. Finally one I had heard before , but coming from
your incredible lips . still fantastily .. Dreamy.. GRRRRRR

2007-06-16 21:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by Robert B 5 · 2 0

Great, as my late great gran used to say "Drinks in, wits out?"

2007-06-16 21:34:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Brilliant lol.

2007-06-16 19:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 3 0

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