I have a lady friend who happens to be my ex girlfriend. and since we broke up she has put on a few extra pounds, since i still really care for her i want to help her out and offer to help her get back into shape... yet shes really defensive and sensative about her appearance, how can i go about offering to help her without making her really mad?
2007-06-16 17:36:00 · 14 answers · asked by T-NutZ 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When you mean a "few extra pounds," do you mean closer to 10 or 100?
If it's closer to 10, I would completely let it go.
If it's closer to 100, I might intervene for health reasons... I wouldn't call her fat and offer to help her get into shape, but I might discuss how hard it is to eat healthfully and get exercise and ask her if she'd like to do it with you. Regardless of what you weigh, any of us could stand to eat a little bit better and go on a few extra walks.
2007-06-16 17:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by Violet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one area where discretion is the better part of valor. Your intentions may be honorable, but she's not going to take them that way. If she asks for your help, then give it freely (always with the disclaimer that as she has only put on a few extra pounds, she'll have them off in no time.....)
If she doesn't ask, don't offer.
If you are still on good terms with her, you might invite her to join you for a walk, or go play tennis with her, or go for a hike or some other calorie burning activity that you can share together without giving the appearance of dating.
2007-06-17 00:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since she is your ex-girlfriend you should have some intimate knowledge of who she really is. Put yourself in her place. How much help and advise would you want from an ex-girlfriend concerning your appearance? Leave her be. Let her know that you are there if she ever wants assistance in any aspect of her life. Now, get on with your life and let her git on with her life.
2007-06-21 00:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by johny0802 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her involved in activities ,such as walking or swimming.
Fix meals at home which are low calorie instead of eating out.
Be honest and tell her why you want to help her and how much you really care for her. Then give her a vase of flowers with a special card. I doubt if she'll get mad.
2007-06-17 00:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by Morningstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has to want to do it for herself. If you can't accept her as she is, why don't you do her a favor and move on. If she's just your "lady friend" now, what difference does it make if she's fat? If you "still really care for her" you wouldn't be so concerned about her getting "back into shape."
2007-06-17 00:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
So at not time did you find it very rude to let her know that since you two broke up she has gotten fat..?
If and when she wants to get back into shape she might let you know if she wants your help...
2007-06-17 01:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the stress of being with you made her superskinny and now that she's free of you she's free to have the body that was inteded for her in the first place.
after i left my ex (we are still friends, too) i gained about 20 pounds i needed. i was so skinny you could count my ribs (upto my colarbone) just standing still.
now i look NORMAL
2007-06-17 06:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by ohmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if YOU put on a few extra pounds and I start "helping" you? Would you like it? Who told you she needs your help?
2007-06-17 00:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mind your own business. Leave her alone. She is capable of taking care of her own problems, if she feels she has any.
2007-06-17 02:20:37 · answer #9 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suggest going to the park with her. tell her lets play football or a sport she likes. tell her we can eat some lunch, pack a healthy lunch.
2007-06-17 00:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by My point exactly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋