Abortion question?

Question

Why is it that when a man doesn't want his pregnant wife or gf to have a baby he's a deadbeat, but if the woman doesn't, she's exercising a choice?

Why does the man have no choice in the matter of whether or not she aborts?

I don't know if this adds or not but my wife was raped at the age of 16 and carried the child to term. He's now 13 and the joy of our lives!!

His "father" then required us to get a DNA test to prove he was his...nice guy.

Answer 1

People think that because the woman carries the baby, men have no right to try to protect it.

Answer 2

"Why does the man have no choice in the matter of whether or not she aborts?" - simple, because it's *her* body.

No man should have the right to force a woman to have a baby. Giving birth can be really painful. If a person was to inflict that much pain on another, they would be sent to prison for a very long time. Thus, no man has the right to inflict that on a woman (i.e. force her to have the baby) if she doesn't want to.

For similar reasons, no man has the right to force a woman to terminate a baby if she doesn't wish too.

*However*, this leaves us with a situation where...

Father wants the baby, mother doesn't - tough, the father loses out.

Father doesn't want the baby, mother does - tough, the father loses out.

That isn't fair.

If a man does decide (for whatever reason) that he is not ready to father a child, then he should have the right to "dis-own" the baby - thus having no rights to, nor any responsibility for that baby. If the mother wishes to go ahead and have the baby, knowing that there will be no father around to support it, well, that's her decision. But she shouldn't be able to "inflict" that decision on the father.

Answer 3

It's a bizarre double standard with some roots in reality-why is it that when a girl makes a mistake, or is raped, she must deal with the consequences of the pregnancy by dropping out of school to care for it, getting kicked off the team, etc but the guy gets to keep on truckin'?

The roots in reality part? There's alot more involved on the woman's part, so she has more control over the process. Most of the women who get optional abortions do so because their "concerned" men left them and they can't go it alone, so the man really isn't getting gyped-he'd probably rather not pay child support.

Answer 4

ohh i am so sory about your wife, i seriously am, and i felt so thrilled when i read that she carried the baby. even more when you said he is now the joy of your life. you must really be a good person.

and i totally agree. if it is the man's baby then he should get say in it. i know that the woman would do most of the work and all, but it is his baby.

and i don't consider the man a deadbeat. i think a deadbeat is someone who just leaves. someone who doesn't talk about it and just abandons his pregnant wife/gf.

if the woman doesn't want to have a baby and the man does, then she can let him have the baby once he/she is born and pay child support. it is a strange situation but it could really work.

the man has no choice because it is her body, but i don't think that is right at all, to the man or the woman. the man because he can't determine if his child gets murdered very cruelly or not, and to the woman because she has to make this choice all on her own.

great question. :)

Answer 5

He is not a deadbeat in all situations. Some guys would say to abort for the girl. Like that it would kind of set her back in her goals, etc. (I would hope some guys would think about the girl)

But when informed about such news, I think the first thing that would come to someone's mind is "how does this affect my life?" so for a guy, it's like **** I can't have that. so they want to abort. But I think, I have no experience, but I'm guessing here, maybe it's harder for a girl to choose to abort because the motherly side of her comes into play. But I think a lot of it is just that people aren't ready, it comes as a shock, and makes it harder to go to college, or graduate high school or whatever the case.

Plus with women, it's their whole life their changing because you can't just decide you don't want a baby when it's too late. However, a guy can just walk away. Which sucks.

Hope that helped some.

Answer 6

That's a good question. It seems that the male should have some say, perhaps moreso if he's the husband. I know that my daughter (by choice) has a birth mother that is a dead beat. In my opinion, that makes me her real mother; I helped raise her from age five. She is now nineteen. Legally, males will probably have to do something to get rights to the issue of whether or not the girl must carry the baby to term. That would most likely be a tough fight.

Answer 7

The man is not the one who carries the child, which can cause complications which can endanger the life of the woman; there's always a risk. If a man doesn't want to 'father' a child, he should be responsible enough to use birth control.

Your situation is quite unusual. If a man where to impregnate a woman via rape, do you think he should have a say so in whether she can or can't abort? Should HE have a choice in such a matter?

Answer 8

Unfortunetly I think the answer is "thats society today".
Its the same as a man sleeping with everyone and hes a "stud" yet if a woman sleeps around shes a "whore". You do have a right, since you are the father, yet since the baby is a part of the womans body she gets to decide what she wants to do in such a case. I would look into seeing if you are able to fight for not having your name on the birth certificate or your legal rights as far as child support etc. Of course you know that using protection in the first place she might not have gotten pregnant. blah blah blah Just beware of the ladies who say "its all taken care of" be sure and wear that raincoat anyway! Especially if its a gf! Sorry hun, best of luck to you!

Answer 9

That is very true....personally I see a dead beat father as one who helped or knew he was creating a child then decided it was too much work and walked away.

But a man who has no idea his partner can get pregnant...like she told him she was on the pill...or she said she could not get pregnant....then she does get pregnant because she wanted a baby...well I feel the man has a right to walk away and not be liable for the money or the raising of the baby.

My fiance has an ex wife who said she could not get pregnant...well lo and behold 5 months later she up and gets pregnant...she later admitted she lied to him and that she really wanted a baby....now he has to pay child support till the kid is 21. It is wrong that this happened.

Where was his choice????? And don't tell me it was when he chose to have sex....she told him she was sterile.....she took away his choice.

Answer 10

So what are you suggesting? That a woman who chooses not to bear an unwanted child is a deadbeat?

This is a typical reverse-logic ploy by a reverse-logic person, by which the antiabortion ranks are filled.

To actually ANSWER this dumb question:
If a man sires a child and then refuses to support it, THEN he is a deadbeat. If he pay for the abortion that the WOMAN chose to have, he is not a deadbeat.

The man has no right to choose whether the woman has the abortion any more than the woman has the right to choose whether the man has his appendix removed.

If you cannot understand the sanctity of a person's body, then you just don't understand what sanctity means. (Go hide under a bed and don't show your face in public until you can learn to think like a civilized human being.)

The best way a man can influence a woman to bear his child is to MARRY her and to LOVE her. The rest follows.

Answer 11

When you carry a living, developing, human embryo in your womb, then and only then would you have the choice. The child is totally innocent and cannot defend itself. If everyone that engaged in sex did it for the right reason (procreation) then it would never be an issue, would it? I suggest you study your bible and take a long philosophical look at society's views on the subject, just because two people agree on something does not make either one or both of them right. What if your mother had aborted you, and W.W.J.D?