Am I being abused? (I asked this same question in relationships section, just want more answers)?

Question

I think I am being abused. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 5 months now, and he makes me feel bad. He criticizes how I dress, my hair, my weight , my shoes, even the way I WALK or DRINK WATER ! I consider myself a very attractive woman, and I am very nice and smart as well. I am a little curvy as well- I am not skinny, and am losing weight. You can look at myspace to see me: myspace/maura_lo Anyways, the guy has told me that I'm stupid and can't do anything right. He also pushes me sometimes or chokes me if he gets mad- which he does quite often. Whenever I tell him he better stop or I can find someone else, or if I tell him that alot of men like me, then he says, "yea I bet they're all old!" Which is not true. I do not understand why this is happening. The relationship I was in before this was great- he never yelled at me or anything. Lately I have been depressed & crying alot. I also don't feel as confident a/b myself as I once was. I feel I am never good enough .

Answer 1

Your man is just doing this so you feel bad about yourself and feel as if you need him. He criticizes your clothes because he don't want you looking hot out in public and loosing you to another guy who thinks your attractive. He talks about your weight so you don't gain weight. I've been in this kind of relationship where my boyfriend did all this. He was a scum bag and ended up leaving him. Comes to find out, he keeps doing the same things with his recent ex girlfriends, so it wasn't just me.
And about the choking thing.... He don't need to be doing that to you. No one deserves all of this. Get out of this relationship asap!!! My best friend just died from her psycho ex boyfriend! He choked her to death because he was jealous of her boyfriend!!! Please do you and everyone who loves you a favor. Get away from him and even get a restraining order on him, cause you never know how he will turn out when you two break up. And go live somewhere else (with a friend or even your parents!).
I hope you really listen to me. I know I don't know you but I have felt the pain of a close friend dying from a murder and trust me, It is the worse feeling in the world.

Good luck & I will pray for you =)

P.S. I checked out your myspace and you are beautiful. Find a man who deserves you!!!

Answer 2

First of all you ARE good enough! NEVER EVER doubt your self. You need to realize that this guy is a loser and you should never allow yourself to fall ceseptable to his abusive ways and stupid actions. I think he has realized that you are vonerable to his words and he notices that you are losing weight and that you are pretty, which will attract other guys. He think that if he abuses you and hurts your feelings that you will be to scared of him to leave him. GIRL PROVE HIM WRONG!!! Get with the program, he is not good for you at all!! He's a self centered controlling person who does not deserve you. A real man would never put his hands on any woman!! That's pathetic! You might love him, but if he really loved you...he would never even think to put his hands on you! Report him, tell a family member, and get the hell out of there! As the "wonderful" world we live in today has been able to show us the real horror of abusive relationships..don't allow yours to get to the step where it's too late. Take action now. There is alot of help out there, but the main thing you need to do is focus on keeping yourself safe. Screw him, let him see that he has hurt you way too far.
Be careful. Good luck. God Bless

Answer 3

It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship. It has already become physically abusive. Before you leave, make a safety plan. Have a safe place to stay with clothes and money in case he becomes more violent. Typically the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you leave. Contact your local women's crisis center for someone to talk to and to help you with a safety plan. Walk, do not run to the exit. Keep going, do not look back. All the best to you.

Answer 4

I work at a shelter for abused women. Abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal or sexual, or all of the above. Men who abuse women do it for power. Drinking has nothing to do with it. If a man is going to abuse a woman, he doesn't need a reason. He wants to control every aspect of your life.

You need to get out now before he does more than choke you and demoralize you. It only progresses.

No matter where you live, there is a crisis number you can call for shelter and/or counseling. You can also call the police department and they can put you in contact with the appropriate agency.

You know what you have to do, so do it.

Answer 5

You need to get away from him.
I had a very good friend that was married. Her husband would choke her when he got really mad at her. He choked her one day and they was fighting She told him you could of killed me and he said he wanted too. She called the cops but no one pressed charges on him. This was the 2nd time he choked her and I never knew about the first time. I never thought he would hurt her again. I told him to promise me that he would not touch her again and he said he wouldn't.. Well a couple months later he choked and killed her. She is gone now leaving behind a child. I really miss her and wish I could of done something to stop him. So I think you should get away from him. I don't mean to scare you but I lost a good friend cause she didn't think he could go that far but he did!
Jamie

Answer 6

This relationship and guy you describe is trying and succeeding to emotionally control you. And it is working. You are feeling trapped, and you are still with him. This is how Domestic Violence starts and continues, and some, too many women die.

Look at yourself -remember the dreams and plans you once had. It's not going to happen with this guy. All he wants is control in an evil way. You are a valuable person.
Go to where you are treated and adored and admired, and honored, and respected and given hope for the future.
Saying goodbye to anyone is hard. Know that.
But you will awake with a new day of sunshine and promise for your future.

Answer 7

Well if you stay with him I can guarentee you won't start feeling any better about yourself. There could be someone else that is very intrested in you but since you with a guy that thinks its cute to choke out women, then you will never know. Come through and talk to me anytime http://360.yahoo.com/anamo79

Answer 8

You already know the answer - or you wouldn't be asking the question. Reading the responses here should leave you with no doubt. Time to walk (run!) away from this and reconnect with the friends and family your abusive partner has no doubt tried to keep you away from. You can do this - be strong - believe in yourself.

Answer 9

You need to figure out why you are staying with him, what are you getting out of the relationship. It sounds like it is unhealthy for you. No one can touch you with out your permission That's called assault which is against the law. Don't do things that make you feel bad. Easy to say hard to do.
Sounds like counseling may help. your self esteem and self respect needs a boost.

Answer 10

Run and don't look back. You are being abused mentally and physically. DO NOT question your decision to leave or worry about getting into another relationship. This guy has abuser problems and he WILL not change with time; only with intensive counselling. LEAVE HIM ASAP!!! Your relationship will get worse and worse with time and the longer you stay, the harder he will make it for you to leave.