I'm still looking for good military jokes?

Question

Here's a joke that my Army Sgt (fmr Jarhead) told our unit.
A soldier and a Marine are in the latrine, and finish up at the same time. The Marine starts for the door while the soldier goes to the sink, and says "In the Army they taught us to wash up after using the Latrine" To which the Marine replies, "In the Corps, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

Answer 1

Old Marine

Shortly after President Bush took office, an old veteran approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave. where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The marine looked at the vet and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old vet said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same vet approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The marine again told the vet, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The vet thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same vet approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine saying, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the vet and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row that you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton and I've already told you that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old vet looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir!"

How 'bout this instead:

Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, A Green Beret got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. The Green Beret kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the Green Beret, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Green Beret's boot and spit in it.

When the Green Beret returned with the coke, the other Seal said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Green Beret obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.

The Green Beret returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Green Beret slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Green Beret asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"

Answer 2

A soldier, a Marine, an airmen and a seamen are stranded on a desert island. They are sitting around eating their MRE's when suddenly they are ambushed by a native tribe. The tribe tells them they are going to kill them and use their bodies to make a raft. The one stipulation is that they may choose how they die.

The Navy guy says, I love the water so I want to die with the water. So the tribe drowns the seamen.

The Air Force guy says I love the air and I want it to be what takes my life. So the tribe strangles the airmen.

The Marine says I am a grunt and own the earth, so the Marine is buried alive.

The tribe then tells the Army soldier he must choose his death. The soldier sighs and demands one thing for his death. The fork from his MRE.

The soldier picks up the fork and starts stabbing himself all over his body yelling " Screw your stupid raft!!!"

Answer 3

Why do navy guys have so many tattos on their backs? So the Marines on board ship will have something to look at while they are being F_ _ _ _ d

Answer 4

Here are a few websites that you might like:

http://www.strategypage.com/humor/default.asp
http://miljokes.com/
http://www.bluenoserjokes.com/category/military/
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/militaryhumor/Military_Jokes_and_Humor.htm
http://home.earthlink.net/~billycollins99/id3.html

Hope some of these make you laugh. Some did me, especially the last one with you might be YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO "HOOAH" IF ....

Enjoy.

Answer 5

Old Joke, but only a cute joke.

Answer 6

That's a true story except that it was an Airman who didn't wash.

Answer 7

About.com

Type in military humor... there's quite a few in there.

Answer 8

lol good one