What is a good way NOT to talk so much or say so much to people?

Question

I am not a vindictive person nor am I a gossipper but as a christian I want friends so much that I have very open with people like today I said something that maybe I should have waited on until I go to know the person. The state I now live in are very polite to your face but if you are different or maybe slow or not like everyone else people take advantage in word and deed of you and behind your back they twist the knife meaning backstab you and say mean things about you when you are not around, I know this has happened in regard to some things so I watch my back carefully.

My question as a woman who tries to be godly is what are good ways to be friendly outgoing and social and kind and respect myself WITHOUT saying way too much or talking so much about personal things that can and may be used against me?

What are the lessons you have learned in regard to this and how did this help you in your walk with the Lord?

Answer 1

Always think before you open your mouth, and remember to listen. Don't think about what you will say next when someone else is talking with you. Never spread gossip. Never give out personal information that would embarrass you if others knew. Once you tell someone a secret, it is no longer personal nor a secret.

Answer 2

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of this passage from the Bible.

James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.

2. Show a genuine interest in the other people to whom you are talking. If you are asking them questions about what's going on in their life and finding out what they are like as a person then they will do most of the talking. You will still be being sociable but you will be giving them center stage and instead of trying to put your self forward you will let them know that you care about them and want to know what they think.

A person who can do those two things will find that people really value their friendship because most of the time people are in a conversation for them self and give little regard to the other person except as it works for them.

Answer 3

I always speak my mind and make my feelings heard. Some people are much more reserved I don't understand this much It is like I know what they want to say. I wonder why they don't just say it. Are they scared that the public wont approve of their views on things. If they are afraid of their opinion then what does that speak for their character? Their personal strength? I don't know I have alot of power behind my convictions and anybody who don't like it can stay away from me.

Answer 4

First of all,it is a good thing that you are being "real" and not afraid to openly share faults and confess sin in your life...just from what I have heard from you already,I myself would not be afraid to share things with you. I think that we simply need to use wisdom,and understand that there are levels in any relationship and that complete trust is in the very last level...

However if you are speaking of members of the body of Christ...this backstabbing and gossip should not be happening.....AT ALL....If you are speaking of worldly people...I would also suggest using wisdom and discernment,but understand at the same time,that there is a different mindset that you are dealing with......

Answer 5

I have a problem of characterizing some one then putting words in their mouth based on my characterization. I find that if I listen more than presume, I am better off. Of course everyone practices this but me. The moral is keep your mouth shut more often than not.

Answer 6

I have to be very conscious of over talking people.

I make sure the other person gets as much "air time" as I do and, when they talk, I really listen to what they say and create meaningful questions for them to answer.

Answer 7

Its like to me you can't have both its either tell all or tell nothing. If you tell nothing you would be considered boring. It seem like to have friends its like you gotta give up something mainly your secrets so thats why I mainly just stick with family members because I don't mind baring all to them because they know me the most. This help me in my walk with the lord through exercise and obedience.

Answer 8

"What is a good way NOT to talk so much or say so much to people?"

The best way to do this is, of course, is to be born a male...
;-)

Other than that:
A simple summoning of willpower should do the trick...


---[...from the movie AS GOOD AS IT GETS...]---
Receptionist:
How do you write women so well?

Melvin Udall:
I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Answer 9

Walk in the flesh - you cannot never please God, even though God recognized your sincerity of wanting to please Him.
Being religious and trying to do good in your own strength can never change anyone for the better even you.

Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfilled the lust of the flesh.
The Spirit giveth life but the flesh bringeth death !

Learn to sit quiet before Him every day before Walking before Him and Standing in His presence while meeting and talking to friends may change your experiences

Go, practice it and see God's moving in and through your life !

Answer 10

Talk about God and not about yourself, Be eager to listen and not to be heard, promote love.peace and understanding.take a vested interest in what other people are saying and you will find they are more willing to open up to you,