for people older than 28....?

Question

I'm in my mid 30's and am told I am attractive. I have been sinlge for a year. I keep getting told I'm a prude for not having sex fairly quickly, or I don't get another date when I stop the 'Roman Hands'. What is acceptable these days without being slutty? I like sex, but I don't want to have it with some random guy!

Answer 1

Good for you. Stick to your principles and you will find the right guy sooner or later.

Answer 2

Hi: First, do not give in to what other people say to you regarding your dating ways. You are the only person who knows yourself. Stick to your morals/beliefs. You are old enough to know better and know what you want. If someone is not going to take time to get to know the real you forget them. Don't let those duds "feel" on you. We are not in high school anymore. Believe me, there is a man out there that will take their time with you. You want to make them earn it. If you give in to easy you may then be considered an easy lay. You previous dates do not to go out with again because you are not as easy as they thought you were going to be.

Having sex and wanting sex is human nature. But being respected and wanted to be loved is another thing. Never give yourself to a random guy, that would be crazy and dangerous at the same time. Good things come to those who wait. You will know with whom and when the time is right. Follow your heart. Take care.

Answer 3

Perky - Good for you! Look, if a guy is worth it, he'll wait. If he's only interested in one thing (most guys are, I know) if he can't get it he'll move on. This is a good thing! It saves you the anguish of not having to put up with some jerk stringing you along until he finds some other victim. By that time you would have already invested emotinal feelings, time ect. in him.
Your doing the right thing, don't diminish your values to accomodate unappreciative men. You'll know when the time is right, no need to placate some guys ego in an attempt to modernize your values. Your parents raised you right!

Answer 4

Stick to your gut feelings. Be honest about your intentions without saying right off the bat how far you want to go or how the night will end up. If a guy cares enough about you then he will respect you enough to understand the situation and where it could go. Don't pass on your morals. In the end how you feel and what you think about yourself is all that matters.

Answer 5

If you don't get another date because you stop the guy from roaming...are you really missing anything?

What is acceptable - the only thing that is acceptable - is that you are comfortable and want whatever is happening to happen - in your mid-30's you should be meeting guys who have developed respect for women by now...if you aren't, then you need to seek companionship elsewhere.

Answer 6

Neither do you wish to spend most of your time with a guy who is only interested in you for your body or what he can get
you to do to please him until he gets tired of you and moves on to someone else. What is acceptable today is whatever you feel is good for you in the long run. Quick sex may get rid of the days tension, but may bond you to someone who does not have your best interest in mind. This fact never changes, regardless of ones age. Reserve sex for someone who has proved himself to be eligible for longevity, monogamy and exclusivity in his relationship with you and worthy of your attention. Keep your eyes open and your mind focused on reality. Do not be easily led by name-callers and people who try to lay a guilt trip on you for standing firm on your personal values. It is better to be a "prude" than it is to be an unmarried mother of an unwanted child, an outcast with an STD. a casualty of AIDS or a depressed and suicidal basket case following a sexual entanglement with a man who abuses your body then disregards your feelings and disrespects you. Best wishes.

Answer 7

Good for you, I think any respectable guy will appreciate that you are keeping that portion of intimacy for the right occasion. Keep to your morals, that is what is acceptable these days. Anyone expecting more is not the type of person you want to associate with.

There are a lot of pigs out there, but if you hold on to your values there are a lot of really wonderful men out there too.

Answer 8

If that's what you're comfortable with (not having sex with some random guy) that's what's acceptable!

If you don't want to have sex w. someone you're not in a relationship with- Don't!

You're not being a prude- you're doing what's right for you and that's what it's all about.

Answer 9

Don't worry about it. Guys have trained women that they need to put out immediately and they should put up with friends w/benefits so the guy doesn't have to wine and dine a lady. The only way to combat that poor behavior is to do exactly what you are doing. I wish other women would have enough willpower to do what you are doing. Just keep searching and you will find a guy that will be ok with how you are.

Answer 10

Anyone your age that is attractive,with a name of Perky B must be aware men will flock to you like magnets.You may need to become more resourceful in dealing with horny men, being less forceful in repelling them at the time.Use cunning tell them they must prove themselves worthy before they can seal the deal.

Answer 11

I agree with the two gentlemen above. Stay with your principles. You don't want just anything that walks, you want someone who can accept you for you, not someone you could be if you were playing 'the game'. Moreover, you would want someone who thinks as you do, because 'Roman hands' can become a 'Roman spouse' who wants to be Caligula.