My fiance wants to invite everyone he knows to our wedding. He is going to pass out invitations to everyone at work he knows, and invite friends and family of his family. I was hoping for a smalle initmate (50-60 people) wedding. I have about 20 people that I have invited. Between him and the people his mom wants to invite (which are HER friends) will be probably about 250! Am I wrong to be upset? It is one thing to invite your close friends and family, but everyone you know is a bit too much, right? I've never known anyone who has invited everyone they know to their wedding. Especailly when the number of people you know is in the hundreds.
2007-06-16 12:52:04 · 21 answers · asked by sweet_16_45356 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He needs to cut his side of the guest list down.
The guests that his mom wants that you do not know should NOT be invited.
Talk to him.
You are not wrong to be upset.
2007-06-16 18:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have u thought of a compromise between what both u and ur fiance want? something like 100, 50 from ur side and 50 on his side. and if u only invite about a smaller number than that, then u could allow his mother to fill in those spaces. 100 people is still more than u probably want but it's better than inviting 250. and this way, u get the people u want there, he gets to invite the people he wants without the overwhelming numbers and even his mom gets to invite a few people so she'll be happy.
i don't blame u for not wanting so many people at the wedding. my hubby and i had a small one with only our family so it was less than 30 people altogether and it was exactly what we wanted. my mom's friends tried to convince her to make it into a huge affair but i stated outright that i didn't want any of that and neither did he. u and ur fiance can reach an agreement so that u and ur fiance r happy and that's all that matters, even if ur soon-to-be mother isn't as happy.
2007-06-16 13:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, sorry to hear your delemia. I'm getting married in 35 sleeps, and i know exactly what you are going through. our guest list right now is around 340 people we only wanted a small wedding like 150 max. But it is very hard when you have and love so many of your friends, and then there's the parents friends. What we did is we just flat out said we cannot afford to have the number of friends that you ( parents guys side) want to bring for the supper, the reception and the wedding well that's not to bad. So we just said if you want them there than instead of paying for anything else, pay the caterer, and if they can well great the more the merrier and less you have to worry about tell them,cause it will be cheaper for them, is buy the food, the roasts, turkey mainly the meat and find a caterer who will cook it. that saved us over half so far, And if they can't afford to pay for the caterer than it's settled those many people cannot come. The food is the main thing really.
and for center pieces what i've seen and i wished i thought of it, was instead of glass or candle centerpieces, make fruit trays, they went over very well for our friends with a bottle of wine and home made biscotti SOO much cheaper and very nice.
But answering your question you do have the right to be pissed, especially if you've talked about it, but let me tell you i didn't believe it at first wedding planning gets stressful, it's not to bad if you don't have a nagging mother in law Telling you how it 's gonna be, it's best to outfront tell EVERYONE how you have it visioned in your mind how you want your wedding to be and let them know that is what your striving for b/c it's very easy to snap over little tiny things b/c someone decided that you needed that, when you can't invision it at all in your scheme or plan..
OHH and buy lots from ebay,, especially if you live in the States the shipping seems to be much cheaper than it is for us here in Canada
congrats on your special day in the end it will all be worth it,
2007-06-16 13:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by mandylinn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people are uncomfortable with being the center of attention . . . the way a bride is the center of attention. I think it's time you sat down with both Mom and Fiance and explained this to them.
Why not suggest this for a guest list?
20 people for bride
20 people for groom
10 people for bride's parents
10 people for groom's parents
Good luck to you. I hope they will listen. Perhaps bringing in budget concerns will help. A wedding for 60 can cost much less than a wedding for 250.
2007-06-16 13:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he just wants to share the joy! Since you and he are paying for the wedding yourselves, and he feels your budget can handle a big wedding, that's great. About inviting friends of the MIL - well, that's just what happens at weddings. Parents have been attending weddings of kids of their friends over the years, and when there is a wedding in the family, they reciprocate.
However, the guest list numbers should be decided when you all have your family meeting with both sets of parents. That's kind of usually when decisions like this are made. Just remember for the two of you to stick within the budget you can afford.
Good luck.
2007-06-17 01:59:09 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm planning a wedding right now and from my experience I would definitelly talk to him about how much more you will be able to do with the honey moon if you have less people at the wedding because for a reception it costs almost 60-100 dollars per person or more depending on the food. It also depends on who's paying for it. If him mom is then let her go crazy.
2007-06-16 13:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if your future husband wants to invite everyone, than he should realize that there's going to be so many more costs.
I would simply tell him "I know you're excited, but I would really prefer if we could have close friends, and family."
Sure... he's going to be a little downtrodden, but if you wanted a small wedding, speak to him about it.
Best case scenerio of how to convince him, wherever you're planning on getting married (if it's a church or a hall) they always have fire codes, that state how many people are aloud.
It shouldn't be about inviting every person you know. That isn't how it should ever be. It should be about inviting the closest, and the ones you love.
2007-06-16 14:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by shootsamshoot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and I had this problem as well. He wanted a list of 500 and I wanted like 20. We went with my way becuase wew were paying for the wedding.
tell himto think about the fact the all the extra money for 250 guest could go to a nice honeymoon or a down payment on ahouse.
2007-06-17 11:08:40 · answer #8 · answered by willowrosenberg77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty of people invite hundreds of folks to their wedding if that's what they want. Obviously you two have diff. ideas of what kind of wedding you want and what is affordable.
You need to sit down and talk to him and find a middle ground before he hands out anymore invites. This is the first of many compromises you'll make once those rings are on your fingers.
2007-06-16 13:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in this situation that you should really sit down and talk to him about the way you feel but don't forget even though you are the bride it is his wedding just as well as yours. This is a situation that yall need to compromise because you are tying the knot so might as well start now and start compromising. Good Luck and congratulations on your wedding hope for the best in your future.
2007-06-16 12:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by lillaylay_2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who's paying for the wedding? If it's your family then they need to be more considerate and cut it down to what your family is comfortable with. If not then maybe you can compromise and invite some people only for the reception.
2007-06-16 12:58:30 · answer #11 · answered by SaraB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋