i have been with this girl for 2 years, we were engaged for 6 months until she broke it in january. hours after leaving me she returned. things were ok for a couple months, then we started having little fights more and more. i listened to a lot of bad advice during a vacation and moved out of our home. we stayed together though. it was fine for a couple of weeks then tapered off a little. we finally spoke of our situation and she wanted a 2 week break for thinking time. during this time i only saw her once for a near-perfect date, but we talked everyday. then a week ago she broke it off saying that she needs time for herself and that she doesn't feel the same way about me. even though she constantly said i love you the week before. i've asked for her to elaborate and tell me the real reasons, she said not right now. she said she wouldn't leave me hanging and that it's just too hard to see me right now. we've been best friends for most of 2 years and now we don't talk. what to do?
2007-06-16 12:06:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this hurts a lot because we haven't been apart this long before. i am going to give her time, but i don't want her to think i am giving up. my whole life was invested in this relationship and i want to show her that i am a better person than i have been. i don't want her to leave remembering the last bad 4 months as our whole relationship. do i wait it out then just casually mention getting together to talk?
2007-06-16 12:11:40 · update #1
this is the thing too. we've spoken twice since the break. both times she got upset while saying a couple of things. one was the "too hard to see you" comment. she was barely able to say it. the other was when she said "she needs time to deal with it too". i told her that if she has issues to deal with about our relationship then she should not have ended it and come to me about them. i don't think there is someone else though, she has always had a hard stance against cheating and she is a horrible liar anyway. i am not trying to get my own hopes up just going with what i have expierienced.
2007-06-16 12:21:45 · update #2
It'll benefit you both to just let it go. Seriously. You really don't want to endure a marriage that started on rocky terms, do you? If she made it any clearer, she'd have to spoon-feed it to you. She's done here.. but like most things we're familiar with, we don't want to let them go just like that. If you were best friends for most of your relationship, then when she looks back at your relationship, she will remember more of the good than the mere 4 months of head games! That is.. if you can maintain your dignity - 'cause that's all you have left right now.
Your relationship is very unhealthy and mostly unfair (to you!). You are not giving up on her - she has given up on you! Do yourself a favor and don't pine over her anymore, at least don't let her know that you are. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best!
2007-06-24 12:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be on the right track with the whole her being afraid to expand the friendship, and feel that if it goes outside of work things will take a romantic turn and she'll get hurt again. It seems you have taken all the right steps as far as giving her detailed e-mails about what you are thinking. But it also seems like she is either hiding something in her personal life that she doesn't want you to see, or just wants things to stay the way they are. No matter what you need to talk to her face to face and point blank as why she always flakes on you.
2016-05-17 11:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you're not going to like this perhaps, but here goes: It's probably over. Once the head games start, they never end. Let her go, tell her during the next conversation you have with her. Just say, "Look, you're probably right, let's just end this now and have the good times to look back on." then hang up. Don't let her draw you into her drama, regardless how much you care for her, or have "invested" in her. She's not a bank account and if she were microsoft you would have sold her by now. Move on.
2007-06-23 20:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first you need to step back and read what you just wrote as and outsider looking in.....does that sounds like healthy relationship to begin with?!?! it sounds like you guys would make much better friends than lovers...its hard breaking up with anyone but you guys weren't even married yet and having all these troubles....sadly its for real...and if she comes back, i think you guys should sit down and talk about it to get closure because noone likes dating someone with baggage...and she probably does love you and still does but the question is, is she IN love with you??? they are two totally different things...she probably didn't wanna elaborate because she didn't want to drag anything further than it needed to be at that point....there will come a time when you might talk again...sounds like you tried your best but you can't force love....hope this helps!!!
2007-06-16 12:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by buschchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space.She is getting scared.She knows that you love her.TakeThe two weeks she has given you to do one thing.Look back over the 2 years of your relationship.Remeber the good and the bad.Evaluate exactly how much you do love her.It is what she is doing.Make her a list of all the good things you did together.And if she decides it is through you will have to just let her go.
2007-06-16 12:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by john s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's seeing someone else. She knows you'll be there when it suits her, and when she wants her space, you'll give it to her. You said "She wouldn't leave me hanging"? That's EXACTLY what she's doing! If she won't give you the reason why she's treating you like a human yo-yo, it's either because she needs time to make up a good lie, or she's just stalling. She knows you'll be there anyway, so why bother?
2007-06-16 12:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might love you but she's not in love with you anymore. It happens and people move on. It's the natural progression of things. Don't make yourself seem undignified by begging for answers. They will come in time, even if she doesn't tell you. You will see for yourself that if she doesn't return, her departure only made room for someone that will make a greater impact on your life.
2007-06-16 12:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I can think of is that she wants you to change your ways. Second thing, is that she found someone else that she wants to pursue. So you can either contact her and tell her you are willing to change for her.. or you can move on. You pick.
2007-06-16 12:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may not be willing to talk about it.
first just give her time to think and sort herself out, but still keep in contact to let her know that you ain't forgot about her.
then after that try to get to the bottom of things
2007-06-16 12:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lil' Billz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sory i think she has another relationship goin on. Good Luck!!!!
2007-06-24 07:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by musicluvrsammi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋