I'm a single mom and having problems coping with my 10 year old?

Question

My daughter doesn't like to do certain things which is understandable she's 10 years old but when push comes to shove I don't know how to get her to do what I tell her to. In this case it is going outside to go for a walk. I offered her some money to walk 5 blocks to the ice cream store and she still just wants to sit in the house. I finally told her she had to leave and do something outside. She flipped out and started screaming at me and when I told her she had to go out anyway she picked up a chair and threatened to hit me with it.

I could beat her *** but I think that's a bit counterproductive. I could ground her but that is just what she wants. I just don't know how to handle things like this.

Answer 1

Start taking away the things she loves. Her cell phone, tv. video games, etc.
If she has no reason to want to stay inside, she will go OUTSIDE.

Make her do some chores, too--especially outside ones. Tell her she has to weed for an hour for each hour of TV she wants to watch.

Answer 2

Ms. hthr_1974

You are going to have to institute some TOUGH LOVE into your parenting. Sit your daughter down and explain to her that it is just Mommy and Her in this great BIG world, and that mom needs all the help she can get in this household.

Having said that explain to her how she can help out by cleaning up after herself, keeping her room tidy and doing her homework before watching TV and going to bed at the appointed time.

The hard part will be on you to keep her discipline to this. Control the time and amount of time she can watch TV, engage with her, do chores and house work together, and then afterwards reward her together by going to the park or taking her to McD etc. A child that grows up seeing the hardship of one own parents will understand and be more prepared for the real world. She may still be interested in dolls and toys, but she will at least understand that when Mommy comes home from work she might appreciate a cold glass of water waiting for her on the table.

BTW: 5 blocks is a bit far for a 10year old to go alone. Walk with her, make it apart of "just us girls going out".

The time and attention you put in today will put your mind at ease farther down the road when they leave to go into the world alone.

Answer 3

I would take her to a doctor to get checked out. Make sure everything is OK before you punish her for not wanting to be active. I was the same way when I was little and come to find out I had some problems with my heart and I was anemic which caused me to have low energy. So you dont want to punish her if its not her fault. Then if everything is ok, I would start grounding her from TV and music and all the things she likes to do when inside. Maybe that will get her up and out of the hosue. Hope that helps.

Answer 4

She's a child. Get up and do things together.

Schedule short walks, outings, errands, visits with friends, etc. It is up to you to do this.

It is not a choice. Tell her that when she is in a GREAT mood, and try a little humor with it!

OK. little one, I have a plan! Guess what we're gonna do today? OK, I know you don't want to, but it's only for 30 minutes! Humor me!"

And wash dishes together, clean the house together, etc. Put on her favorite music, and before you know it, she will get over it and join in.

Back down now, or lose your sense of humor now, and you're sunk! Be gentle, firm, and always, I mean always, add a little humor! Trade her -- 30 minutes doing something you want done, for 30 minutes of something she wants to do!

Answer 5

Your daughter did not just get that way. You have let her get away with these type of things since she was a toddler. It will be hard to get her out of this now, but as you can see it only gets worse from here. Use what ever punishment to your avail or you will be sitting in juvi many nights. Stay persistent and consistent.

Answer 6

How about not doing what she asked you to do, since you should let her know things are coming from both ends.

I don't think offering her money is a good idea. Check out why she stays home for, is she chatting online? Is she playing video games? Put a limits on it, so she doesn't get carry away, maybe sign her up with some sports, or clubs.

Answer 7

Beat her butt and send her to the store then ground her when she get back and when you want something done as part of her punishment make her do it anyway like clean up and go to the store wen you need her to you the parent not her... and if that dont work send her to military school.

Answer 8

wow. I am a single mom but mine is only 7. She has alot of drama at times. When she tries this type of behavior, I tell her this "I am the mom, and I can make your world come crashing down around you." She knows that I will go into her room and take everything away but one pillow and blanket (but it has never gotten that far, because suddenly she is all sweet and decided to act like we are a family unit again). That is my advise. I would never let anyone threaten me. Never. I would take away everything she values, including all but one set of clothes and she would have to work to earn it all back, IF I havne't decided to give it to somone in more need than us.

Answer 9

try what my mom did with me.... get a roll of raffle tickets and a container... give her 3 in the morning and everytime shes bad you take one away but everytime shes good or does as you ask and diserves a ticket put one in her dish... when the 3 original tickets are gone for the day send her to bed or somthing thats a punishment... but as she builds up tickets she can buy stuff with them like maybe you will diside on something that shes really wannted and diside how many tickets she needs to buy it... once you have bought it make her give you the tickets for it then give it to her.... good luck

Answer 10

You need to Find a counselor! A family Conselor for both of you and A Kids Conselor for her and A Conselour for you!!! That is the only way to get out your feelings and make you both feel better!