Is this rude?

Question

This is a little background before you get to my question...My mother and my MIL had an arguement last year which was pretty bad. Since then, I've had a get together and they were pleasant but distant, being respectful of me and my husband.
(Next part of the background)At my wedding, my father paid for everything and my MIL kept adding more and more people to the list. He kept his mouth shut and paid, trying to make everyone happy.
(now the question) My sister in law is getting married soon and I saw the list of people that are invited and my SIL didn't invite my parents. I was a little shocked that they weren't invited but thought back to the arguement and realized that must be the reason why they're not invited to her wedding.
Is it rude that they didn't invite my parents to the wedding? Do you think I should ask why they weren't invited?

Answer 1

I would ask your parents if they even care first...if they don't, why should you?

...maybe they'll be relieved...LOL?

No invite...no gift. ^_^.

Answer 2

During your wedding, you and your father were very gracious by letting your MIL add more names to the guest lists without making a fuss about it even though it was your day. if you had made a fuss, u most probably would have had a fall out with her. With regards to your SIL's wedding, i say it's her day and she can invite (or not invite) whoever she wants to her wedding. It might appear rude because of the ill feelings between your mother and her mother but in reality it might just be that she would not have invited your mother anyway regardless. on the other hand, she might still invite your mother as the list you saw might not be the completed version. On the other hand, if she is not inviting your mother out of spite, don't worry about it. Your mother shouldn't go where she's obviously not wanted and saying something about it to her just seems tacky and looks like u guys r desperate to attend her wedding.

Answer 3

It never would have occured to me to invite my sister-in-law's parents to my wedding. They weren't a part of my social circle. The fact that her father didn't show for her wedding and her mother did show up in a white, lacy dress deliberately frowning in every photograph was only a tangential part of the question. The fact they weren't people I really knew was the real reason.

What I'm trying to say here is that sometimes people you care about aren't invited because the person in charge of invitations simply doesn't have an interest in having them there and it isn't about you.

It's her wedding, so she gets to choose the guest list. The fact that your father paid for your mother-in-law to invite everyone she's ever known doesn't change that fact one iota.

Stop obsessing over something that probably has nothing whatever to do with the case. If it does have anything to do with it, then it's probably the fact that your mother and her mother haven't gotten over it completely and the bride's mother definitely outranks the bride's sister-in-law's mother on most women's wedding days.

Be the big one. Be the first to move completely on from the rancour. Close the lid on that box of drama flakes and wish the happy couple well.

Answer 4

I think what would be rude is if you confronted her about something that is her decision. Did anyone try to tell you who to invite to your wedding or ask why you didn't invite certain people?

This is your SILs wedding and she has the right to invite who she wants and she doesn't owe anyone an explanation why she is leaving certain people off the list. Maybe she is afraid there will be more trouble if she invites them and she wants her day to be a happy one, not one where arguments insue.

All you would do is add stress to what she is already going through and you would also cause more hard feelings. I think it's best to stay out of it and keep peace in the family.

Answer 5

If she isn't close to your parents, and/ or doesn't want her mom to feel uncomfortable on her big day, then no. Also, if they are having a smaller wedding then no.
You can't hold your SIL responsible for the fact that you dad never said no to your MIL requests, or that your mom and MIL aren't getting along.
By the way, do your parents even want to go, or care that they aren't invited? I know your feelings are hurt because of what has happened, but don't let it ruin your relationship with you SIL.

Answer 6

1) Why did your father allow your MIL to keep adding people to the list if he was paying? It was your wedding day and the guest list should have been your decision.
2) Any arguing or ill-feeling between your Mother and your MIL is not your responsibilty and should not have any impact on you.
3) On your SIL's wedding day the guest list should be her/their decision. Since she is not related by blood to your family I do not personally consider it rude they're not invited.

Answer 7

I don't know really, I don't think I would ask, there may be a good reason why they have not invited your parents, but as they are not blood relatives perhaps they have decided not to ask them, maybe their numbers are very restricted and they would rather have people that were friends there. I have not invited my brother in law's mother to my wedding, mostly because we don't know her, she is only related to me my marriage and I'd rather have people there that I know and love. I don't think it is necessary to invite the parents of your inlaws.

Answer 8

Technically your parents aren't her in-laws - they are her brother's in-laws. There is no reason for her to invite your parents because they aren't within the range of her immediate family. I wouldn't push the fact that they weren't invited b/c that would be like inviting her fiance's parents to your wedding. It doesn't make much sense to do that since they aren't really active in your family.

Answer 9

was the wedding on a tight budget? if so, that could be why. are your in-laws really that petty? when i got married there were a lot of people who weren't invited. it wasn't that we didn't like them or that we were mad or anything, we just couldn't afford it. you probably shouldn't ask about it because it might cause more problems within the family, especially if it's not because of the argument.

Answer 10

It depends how well they know your parents.
I would not have expected my mum to be invited to
my sister in laws wedding, purely because they dont really know each other.
But if they would of been invited before the argument, maybe you could tactfully ask your sister in law.
Your in laws sound a bit mean.

Answer 11

No, I don't think it's rude. I mean I didn't invite either of my bro-in-laws' parents to my wedding. We are not that close, and they are not a part of my family. I don't think it's rude, and I definitly wouldn't make a big deal about it even if they are doing it on purpose. I wouldn't say a word about it. I mean no offense, but would you want them at your wedding if you were her?