About 12 weeks pregnant, when should I contact an adoption agency?

Question

Still not sure if we want another 18 year commitment, I have 2 kids, ages 20 and 16, 2 stepchildren ages 6 and 10, and I have a grandchild age 1. When is the best time to contact an agency about an open adoption.

Answer 1

id hold fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im currently expecting my 3rd child, at first i was so sure i didnt want it but also couldnt face abortion so was looking into perhaps having the baby adopted. I just didnt want to loose my life all over again, i lost all maternal instinct, completely went of kids and everytime something went wrong id blame the thing inside me!!
at the 12 week scan my partner looked in awe at the baby on the screen and i didnt feel even just a bit of love, at the 20 week scan i nearly fell asleep i just wasnt bothered and i didnt want the baby. tho at around 24 weeks watching the lil thing squirming round my tummy, getting used to its waking and sleeping patterns and worrying if i hadnt felt movement, i suddenely realised i wanted the baby and never ever would be without it now!! its part of me, i dont know if it was hormones or what but with that i suddenely got all cooey over babies again something i completely lost in the first months.
Please dont do anything until youve had a lot more time to get used to the baby being inside you, wait until you feel it moving, realise its patterns and find your protective hands clasp over your tum. The very last thing you want to do is commit to giving up that baby and feel forced to at the end with an awaiting family there to take it on.
If your feelings havent changed late into the pregnancy then contact them but please dont commit to anything now. i never thought id change my mind as im the least maternal person i know but id rather loose a limb than loose this baby inside of me now......................good luck

Answer 2

Make a list of local agencies now. Check their literature and their web sites to see if their policies and their history show that they're reliable and are in line with your own philosophy regarding openness, religion, and ethics. Then just put the list by the phone. One day in the next month or so you'll see it and it will feel like the right day to make the call(s) and ask your questions. You don't have to be, as some answerers have said, SURE about what you want to do--in fact, you probably will not be until after the baby is born. You're in the planning stages. Sooner is better than later, of course, so you don't feel rushed down the line--but remember, the agency and the adoptive parents are responsible for most of the paperwork and jumping through hoops to get ready. You're in an unusual situation, more mature than many potential birth mothers, and the agency counselors will be helpful to talk to about all aspects of this. Follow your heart. Listen to your body. Call when you're ready.

Answer 3

Hi Lori, when looking at making an adoption plan it is best to contact them as soon as possible. They will send out forms for you, and they have an interviewing process, then they gather profiles from the potential families for you to see, you can choose the family you like. Then if you are looking for an open adoption, which works wonderfully by the way : ) you will want to establish a relationship with the adopting family,which takes time, and give them time to get there paperwork all in order too. It can be done as a rushed process but it is so much better and more comfortable if done with lots of time.

Answer 4

Bless you for considering Adoption.. there are so many people out here that want a child and can't have one...I think you should contact a Christian adoption agency right now. They can help you work through the decision with out the pressure to place your child should you change your mind. They offer free counseling and all sorts of other support you might need before and after the adoption.
My prayers are with you on this journey.

Answer 5

Most of the people said to contact when you are certain that is what you want to do. I disagree. You cannot choose adoption before the baby is born. Sure you can make an adoption plan, at the same time making a parenting plan, but you cannot make the actual choice to place your child for adoption until after the baby is born. To say otherwise is coercion.

By all means, make some phone calls and figure out all your options. Here is a pdf file of ideas of making sure your rights aren't trampled as you are considering adoption.

Answer 6

I'm sorry but I can't understand why you are in the predicament you are in. Surely you have experience and are mature enough to make sure that you do not become pregnant. Perhaps it has something to do with your beliefs but if I were your I would have made sure that I couldn't fall pregnant if I didn't want any more children.
You may be feeling that you don't want this child now but I am so very sure that when you give birth you will feel so differently about it. I'm sure you love your children and would never give them up and it will be the same with this one. If you have no problems with raising the child and being able to give him/her all that he/she needs to live a happy and healthy life then there should be no reason to give the child up for adoption.
Then again this is how I feel and you may have a different outlook on this subject.
Just remember nobody can love a child as much as it's natural mother.

Answer 7

You can contact them as soon as you are comfortable. There is an agency that I placed through in Texas that does open adoptions. I still see my son and talk with his adoptive family about once a week. The level of involvement is up to the placing mother and the adoptive family she chooses. It is illegal (in Texas atleast) to make a woman sign away the rights for her child prior to birth. If you are considering this option get as informed as you can.

The agency I went through is Abrazo. Their website is abrazo.org

Answer 8

It is very critical that you understand this: It is up to you, and only you if you want to keep this baby. If you aren't 100000% sure that you want to get an abortion, don't. Adoption is always available if you can't take care of a baby. Abortion can have a big toll on someone if they aren't in the right mental mind frame. Unless you two are married, don't discuss it with him. All you needed to do was tell him you're pregnant. He has no input on what you're going to do whatsoever. and he sounds immature, i mean, texting his pregnant gf? Are you going to base this huge decision on someone who might not think that abortion is a big deal? To him, it's probably an emotionless escape of consequences. This is up to you if you want to get it. Do your research. Be aware of the emotional trauma people experience. Because this is your baby to be. and taking it's life away will be a permanent decision. That means you're going to go the rest of your life knowing what you did and never be able to change that. Maybe tomorrow it wont hit you, but what if years from now it destroys you to know you did this? It will eventually catch up with you. Again, this is your decision and only yours. Your boyfriend probably isn't considering your future and your well-being. Think of responsibility. This is your fault that it happened. I really hope that you make the right choice.

Answer 9

as soon as you know you want to put the child up for adoption. get it taken care of and the agency will go through the process with you. i contacted an agency about the same time and all i had to do was fill out paperwork and then look for the right couple.

Answer 10

You should contact an agency right away, even if you are not sure. A good agency will discuss all of your options with you, and help you make an informed decision.
Besides that, if you do decide to go ahead with the adoption, it gives you more time to select a good family. It may take time to find a family you want to trust with your child.
Best of luck!