My son (17) was invited to a graduation party - and was asked to bring 30 (yes, 30) hamburger patties. Now I don't think the hostess is taking advantage of him - but she, like my son, is in a special ed class for children with mental disabilities; and I do sincerely believe that she assigned one food to each invitee with no thought as to the cost. I admire her parents for allowing her to have the full responsibility of the party planning - but I'm not sure if they know how she delegated the food. And it seems to me (am I wrong?) that the hostess would supply the "main course" while guests bring "sides". He was unwilling to express his concern to his classmate - and he'd rather die than have me talk to her or her parents about this lol. So we've decided, for now, that we will get the cheap bulk patties (about $12 - and I feel bad about the cheapness of the burgers), and he'll do some chores to "earn" them. This cripples my too-small food budget ($65/week). Any better way here?
2007-06-16 08:47:26 · 17 answers · asked by elbygirlpa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Can you privately speak to the parents of the other children to see what they've been asked to bring and what their feelings are?
I'm surprised her parents didn't review the list first, because surely they would have noticed this error. I'm also surprised that guests are being asked to bring food/supplies to a party not hosted by them. It's one thing for the guest to ask to bring something; quite another for the host to ask the guests to bring items, particularly since this is a graduation party that warranted invitations and not a pot luck.
Worst case scenario, you can make Rachel Ray's mini burgers, which is what I do when we have a party, but then you need to get w/ the person in charge of the buns and ask them to supply dinner rolls or mini buns instead of regular. If you're interested in that route, here is the recipe link: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_28725,00.html?rsrc=search Note: I don't fool around with the special sauce ($$$).
You can make your own hamburger patties and make the meat stretch by adding grated potatoes...this makes the burger juicy anyway, so no one will even notice.
Personally, I'd call her parents and speak privately about it and be sure all of this is kosher. It just seems odd.
Good luck!
2007-06-16 08:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "Kim" in saying that you should talk to the other parents..your son doesn't necessarily have to know. That may not sound like something you want to do (keep something from your son), but I personally think it would help in the long run. Maybe the other parents have a hard time with their grocery budget as well and that is why they're hoping everyone else will pitch in...just talk to them and explain that you have a planned out and kind of tight grocery plan for your family each month/week and this is just a little too much to handle.
Maybe suggest to them that you can bring half, as well as a side dish and they can provide the rest of the patties, or some kind of division like that (60/40% or 80/20%, etc.) And yes, the hostess should be the one to provide the main dish.
Hope this helps...good luck!
2007-06-16 09:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by jenaz77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are totally right! Guests should not bring main courses or anything that is of necessity to the party, just appetizers! However, since your son would be embaressed if you talked to the parents of the hostess, you should not feel bad about buying cheaper patties!Yet, since this cripples your budget , you could just ask the parents if you can bring something else(cheaper).
2007-06-16 08:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't you call the mother and tell her what you were asked to bring and if she intended for your son to bring that many or if it's possible for him to bring half and another child could bring the other half. If she wants you to bring the 30, then go with the cheaper and look for coupons. Does your town have Aldi's where food is cheap and you can make the patties yourself and make the patties a bit smaller than the buns?
Good luck!
2007-06-16 08:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really. If he wants to go, and he doesn't want to talk to her or her parents about it, the only thing you can do is bring what she requested. If he decides to go, then he should just bring the patties and try to forget the fact that the hostess acted in a rather "cheesy" way (pardon the pun) and just enjoy the party.
2007-06-16 08:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by Sabrina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about mixing ground turkey in with some ground beef and making the hamburger patties this way?? The turkey is much cheaper and tastes very good. mixed together nobody will be the wiser and the food will stretch your budget a bit. Hope this helps. Have fun.
2007-06-17 02:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by pj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under the circumstances you are doing the right thing ( the best you can) I admire the parents and you included on how you are dealing with the children. Allowing the children to figure this out as you are. And keep this thought in your mind you send your son is the one who will be paying for the patties out of his allowance so he too is learning he will have to sacrifice to be able to attend this function Just as we all have had to do at one time or another. You just kinda got stuck with the expensive luck of the draw.
2007-06-16 08:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by lynx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry you're right , besides if all the kids are getting everything then its like its every persons party, not just hers and 30 patties are alot there is nothing you can do since your son doesn't want to talk to her parents.
2007-06-16 08:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by xo_x0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you check with the parents, maybe without him even knowing, as if you do go ahead, and she was wrong that would be embrassing for him (and her and her parents) too, Even just a question about that item if you didnt want to come stright out with "is this right that i have to bring 30"! maybe something like " the invit says... what brand do you normally eat?" That will give them a chance to correct it if it is wrong, if it is right then is cheap better than not going?
2007-06-16 08:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the exactly right thing. I have been to more than one cook out and been shocked at the food people prepare and bring. Some people prefer the cheap patties and that isn't for you to worry about.
This is her party and just let her handle it herself. Her parents may be fully aware of what she is doing and that is their issue not yours.
Just hope that the kids have fun and stay safe!
2007-06-16 08:54:01 · answer #10 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋