hitting children? what do you think, please answer?

Question

do people think that it's ok to hit a small child, e.g. aged 3 - 7 years old, and if you do think its ok then where do you draw the line between smacking when they're naughty and actual abuse? and what do you think of hitting on the legs, arms, head etc and if the child cries for a long time afterwards? please dont think i am going to do this to my child because i am only a teenager i dont have children lol but i have had experiences involving this and wondered if i was being paranoid or if it really was wrong and i have a right to feel hurt.

Answer 1

just to be safe that the child doesn't getting negatively influenced by the hitting, it's better not to even do it. It is actually more effective to give time outs and take privelages and toys away, but this takes a lot of work, self control, will and consistency by the parent.

To just lash out at a child and smack or spank is the easy and lazy way to discipline a child. It's much more commendable and difficult to conduct yourself in a mature, thought out and civilized fashion.

Answer 2

There has to be some type of consequence for bad behavior so the children will understand that they can not do whatever
and whenever they want.

As for me as a child I was given severe beatings with cord, switches and such by my grandmother.

I made a promise to myself that I would never spank or hit my children.

Well I modified that when I did have children. I would use my hand to spank their little hands about two or three sharp smacks. I did this from about 1-3. After that I never spanked or did any other corporal punishment what so ever.

I used punishment like they were restricted to their bedrooms, not TV or going outside to play, later it was no use of the telephone or with holding of allowance.

I would sit and talk to them about what they had done and why it was not acceptable behavior in our home as well as the type punishment and length.

Now I would not tell a person how to punish their child because of the methods I use. They have to decide what method they will use. Some parents use belts and other things to spank their children with.

Again someone must establish a method of consequences for unwanted action of the child. It must be consistent and evenly distributed without fail.

Children will cry long periods of time even after the punishment have been adminstered. This is not uncommon as now they want you to hold them and tell them that things will be ok, which is not a good idea, because it undemines the punishment you just gave them. They will eventually overcome this period.

I am definately oppose to the hitting of children or anyone else as far as that is concerned around and about the head. This is not acceptable behavior of any parent. Abuse comes about when you see marks left on the child long after punishment has been done.

I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.

"FIGHT ON"

Answer 3

That's a difficult thing to answer. Before I became a parent, I was DEAD against spanking. I said I would NEVER do it. However, some kids do not listen to anything else.

I do spank but I definitely make it a last resort and I only do it when it's a danger situation. My kids (all under 5 years old) have no fear of the road, for example. And they do not listen to me in the parking lot, they will break away from my hand because they don't want to hold mommy's hand. If they do that, they definitely get a spanking because I want them to KNOW that they don't do that in a parking lot otherwise they'll get hurt or worse. They don't listen to me when they're acting up (I have an mildly autistic child and a deaf child so, talk about two kids that will NOT listen to me!)

So... I went from "absolutely no spanking!" to "spanking at the appropriate moments". It's a controversial issue but I think sometimes it is necessary, especially when danger is involved.

Answer 4

Your question is poorly worded. "Hitting" children is nearly always wrong unless the child is literally knocked out of danger. Spanking or paddling is very controversial. Two things easily define whether or not it is abuse. ONE: is the child physically injured such as bruised. Discomfort is the goal in contrast to injury. TWO: has the child earned the corrective action. A third condition should also be met, but it is a preventative measure rather than a condition of abuse. THREE: never punish/correct a child when you are angry. Correction should always be done in a loving manner with a calm and cool head on your shoulders. Never should it be done when emotionally distraught, afraid or angry....NEVER.
Both conditions have to be met. If not, then it is defined as abuse. The amount of time a child cries after punishment/correction has no bearing on whether or not it is abuse. Some children cry very little. Others cry at the drop of a hat.
It should be noted that children should be dealt with or interacted with as individuals. Not every child responds favorably to spanking as a disciplinary measure. Get to know the child and tailor the correction to the child.

Answer 5

No, it's not ok. You absolutely have a right to feel hurt.

Children are not somehow subhuman. As a rule of thumb, parents should think of how they would want to be dealt with if they did whatever dumb thing their child did. Does being a subordinated mean they deserve to be hit? If they disobeyed their boss at work or, heaven forbid, stood up to him - would it be ok for the boss to hit them for it? What about as an adult...once you're an adult, is it ok for your parents to hit you whenever they don't like what you're doing? How about if it was something really stupid or dangerous? How does it possibly make sense that it's ok to cause pain to another person on purpose for any reason?

But the problem is that most parents either don't care enough about their kids to treat them with respect - because they don't have any respect for them, or they are just not smart enough to do anything logical or effective. They just can't figure out how to behave rationally enough to model responsible behavior, and they are constantly getting outsmarted by even the smallest of children.

Answer 6

I am 24 I have a 3 Year old and a 5 years old both boys at 3 a smack on the bottom with your hand is ok if needed.with a firm tone voice you mean business at 5 all i have to do is give a look. but at 7 It might get to the point where i will have to spank or maybe not with a paddle on the inside of the hand i don't spank but i will i use a form of military punishment push ups sit ups jump in jack the airplane where they stand in front of me hands straight out just for the length of time of age.It breaks thier heart and i don't feel guilty because i know i have not hurt them.You are old enough to realize abuse use your judgement if some one is being abused to the point where it bothers you call the police anonymously.

Answer 7

Hitting is wrong, discipline does not have to include abuse. The definition of abuse is where the problem lies. Some one might consider knocking some one unconscious a form of discipline, while another would consider a smack on the hand abuse.

Moderation in all things, if its needed and no one is hurt then it is discipline.

Answer 8

well the line has to be drawn after spanking lightly on the butt with the child's clothes on.

and the ages should be from 3-7

cuz after that i think its pretty embarrassing and it should be in private.

but forget that, I'm against spanking and I'm 15, no child mind u.

its barbaric and teaches children hitting is right.
its violent just a little but violent none the less.

whats wrong with explaining to the kid what they did was wrong and why.
but the dumb parents just think that they don't need to know why.

it makes me think its the parent's fault if they do things wrong over and over again.
my dad never listens to me and always tells me to shut up
when we are going somewhere
once we were going to canada and my dad didn't pay attention and i told him to go left and he kept saying shut up.
so i shut up and then he didn't know which way to go so he went striaght then when my mom told him he went the wrong way, my dad started yelling at me that i shoulda been paying attention.

most of the time kids are smarter and pay attention more.
but nooooo, parents think they know everthing and they don't lsiten.

Answer 9

Basic rule of thumb... is it done in anger or discipline... is it done with control or out of control. Sometimes you'll have redness where the child was hit.. but it shouldn't bruise or welt up honestly. With small children sometimes you do have to give them a pop on the behind or on the hand or what have you especially if they were about to do something dangerous... Kids also have a tendency to throw temper tantrums crying way longer than a situation actually warrants. Now if your talkin about something that happened between you and your parents.. sit down and talk to em about it.

Answer 10

To be honest....I think this world has gotten ridiculous as far as discipline goes....and there is a lot more crime now then there used to be. My mom used to spank me if I was being bad and it worked! I would never EVER have thought of it as abuse. Now, a smack in the face would be a little different. I think on the hand or the butt is good.....not too hard, but enough to get your point across. If it doesn't hurt a little it's not going to do anything.