Depressed health?

Question

I'm a 20 yo male not in the best health. I have a lot of heart problems and have had many surgeries. I also have a pacemaker (machine to help my heart beat). I've been told I'll have more surgery in the future. I'm starting to get depressed, I'm tired of all the doctors and the surgeries, there is no real cure for my problems, I just have to keep seeing doctors about it all my life. How do I become happy? I've had these problems since birth. I worry about my health all the time and I'm concerned my problems will get worse and I'll die young. What should I do?

Answer 1

This is a tough one. We were about to go out the door and I clicked this on and now I can't leave.

What I'm going to say will SOUND trite, but please know I don't mean it in a trite way at all. Your problems are much larger than most people. You have to carry a lot. I think it would be worthwhile to see a counsellor or therapist. They can determine whether or not you have clinical depression and prescribe something appropriate. In addition, they can give you some techniques that will help you focus on short term goals that could make your life feel much more meaningful.

After circumstances in my own life, I found myself in depression about 7 years ago. I found that when I donated my time and gave to others, my life became much more meaningful. In all honesty, I got more out of giving than I ever dreamt I would. I know that Big Brothers/Big Sister is ALWAYS looking for male "bigs" and you would fit that perfectly. It requires less than 5 hours a week on average and I think you would find that it could bring much happiness to your life.

Answer 2

I honestly cant add to what already has been said
Laptop gave some sound advice there
making yourself feel worthwhile by helping others is a great thing to do
the other thing I want to say and I know this is easier said than done and easy for me to say
but dwelling on what may be is not good
it may bring about its own problems , high blood pressure etc with the worry
so try and live for the moment
each moment is precious , so make them wonderful ones

in all honesty and I am not trying to make light of your illness
but I could walk out of my house right now and be killed
granted , I do not have the pain that you do and I wish I could take that from you
but life is short for all of us
we have to live for today , live for now
and dont waste a second of it
do amazing things
even if those things are done in the comfort of your home
be an ear for someone who needs help
be a friend on the end of a phone
do things to make you feel good
and whether you live for another day or another 60 years ( as some do with pacemakers )
then you have made a difference to this world and left a legacy
how amazing would that be eh

all my love to you
and I hope and pray that you find some peace in your heart xxx

Answer 3

It seems natural that you would be feeling discouraged and depressed. I hope you have lots of good support people around you, and some friends you can talk to. If there are things you want to do, you should go for it. Set some goals for yourself so that you have things to look forward to. Find some things that you enjoy doing and pursue doing them.
From a psychological/spiritual side I can only enourage you to begin by making a list of all that you are grateful for, and add to it every day. Doesn't matter how small or minor something seems, if you are grateful include it. As someone else said, get involved in some type of volunteer work, like tutoring, or other opportunities that wouldn't be too physically demanding. I hope that thngs get better or you. Please feel free to email me if you ever want to. I also want to say that please don't bog yourself down with guilt about your feelings. Many good faithful people have prayed for healing or release from various diseases and illnesses and it hasn't happened, at least physically, but that's no failure of faith, or because of sin.
peace

Answer 4

? was right...without knowing at least a general area of where you are at, this can be hard to answer, someone from Europe, Japan, or Australia will give you a different answer than I would, but here's mine, in Michigan a lot of the counties have programs that will help out, I went through my local DHS office (Dept. of Human services) and they referred me to CMH (Community Mental Health) which allowed me to see both a psychiatrist and a therapist for almost 3 years until I could get things straightened out. Hope this helps you

Answer 5

I'm sorry you have had to go through so many problems with your health. It has to be discouraging for you.
I would never make light of your experiences or the health problems you may face in the future, however,here is just something to think about. Are there things in your life you can focus on that bring you happiness? I ask because, with all of the negatives it would be easy to dwell on them to the exclusion of what may be the positives. I'm thinking of the 12 yr old boy featured on some of the TV shows who wrote such beautiful poetry before he passed away. He found a way to put his spirit into words that served as inspiration to others who had health problems as well as those of us who can be thankful for good health. If there is a way for you to appreciate life in the midst of your problems, it may bring some beauty into your life.

Answer 6

Hey JB!

No quick or flip answers for you friend, my heart goes out to you.
I have a younger brother who had 2 congential heart defects. A funky valve, and a significant hole between the ventricals. We had to wait 3 years for him to have his first surgery, and my mom keep him alive through sheer will, I sware.

He was one of the first children to have successful surgery of that kind at the Mayo Clinic. Almost died, but they saved him. Now he is 45, and has had a wonderful life so far. There were things he wanted to do and couldn't. but he put his focus on how much he wanted to live, and kept it there.

He has been very athletic, traveled, is successful in his career, married. And then he too had to have surgery again. We knew he would eventually. And his was really extream, because when he finally went in, he was really close to having over extended his capacities.

I will tell you, because this will mean someting to you -
His heart was in good (enough) shape just one week before when they x-rayed - but bam! in that last week, it had filled with so much fluid, that when his surgery started they just weren't prepaired for the drop in pressure, and off he went, flatlined. For a very long time. And then he came back. His surgeon was the head of cardiology at UCLA, and he told us later he had never experienced anything like it. Because my brother has had no lasting damage of any kind. Auctually, that he even made it back was amazing enough to this brilliant surgeon. They had spent time talking before the surgery, and the Dr. told my brother that the two things that he believed saved my brother's life were that he was in really great physical shape, and that he was so strong mentally. He was sure he wanted to live. He had even called me, just a couple of days before, to tell me exactly what he wanted me to do, in case something happened (I'm the family spiritualist/meditator). He considered if he really wanted to fight, and at the end he realized he loved his wife so much that was reason enough.

I do not in any way mean to trivialize or invalidate your experiences or frustrations though this story. I just thought it could help a bit to hear of someone else with serious heart issues, and that getting your mind in a positive track can really really help.

Lap top gave you a couple of really good suggestions- I really believe that having someone professional, outside your family and friends, to really let it all out with would be most benificial. Being able to speak your deepest fears and concerns aloud, without having to worry about the other persons feelings is really important. In doing just that even, you have put them out into a place where they can begin to loose their grip on you. It gives you perspective. And a good therapist will assist you in creating a personal plan, so you don't feel so much at the affect of your circumstances.
I also have found when I went through some depression myself that helping others helped my head so much. (That, and being a mom.)

I sincerely hope somthing here has brought a little light to you, and that you find someone you are comfortable really working things through with. You don't need a shrink - you need a solid, unemotional perspective, to allow you to sort all this out.
Best thoughts to you. My son is 20, so I can appriciate just a little something of your conflicts and concerns.
Hang in there buddy....

Answer 7

Do you believe , that Jesus can heal you ? If you do ,then He will.
I had a tumor in my heart in 1999, they put me in the tube and took 400 pictures of my heart . The next day the doctor's office called and told me to come back down and take some more pictures, because they said ,I also had a hole in my heart and they needed to know ,how big it was.
I went back, after asking God to heal my body, and took 400 more pictures . The next week on Monday I went back for the results and the doctor told me ,that there wasn't anything showing.
Last year ,I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and I never claimed the disease , they said that I was a stage 3,meaning that the cancer has been spread throughout the body by my lymph nodes. When they did the whole body-scan to see, they found absolutely nothing .
Jesus still heals and as long as you trust Him , there is hope for you.
God bless you

Answer 8

When I confess my sins to my Priest and in the list is included despair, depression, or anything like that ... well, for penance I am to give "Thanks" for what I have received; starting with my spirituality, family, friends, and extending to things like light bulbs, sanitation workers (when I make poo), tooth brushes, clouds ... ah, He says that "Thanks-giving" is the biggest weapon against the evil one --- & I agree.

Try to give thanks for the first 5 -10 minutes that you're awake each morning before your day begins. God Bless you on your journey, and may you have much to give thanks over.

Answer 9

all i can say is pray and you will be in my prayers also!!!! Believe that the Lord can help you in this time of need.

Answer 10

Pray and believe! I'll pray for you.
http://www.amazingfacts.org/
God bless you!