ok adoption what if the baby cames to look for me what do i do?

Answer 1

Talk to your child. It will be a little awkward for both of you, but it will make your child understand why they were adopted. Also, you will know what that little person that grew inside you has become. It would be good for both of you.

If after the first visit, you two decide to form some sort of relationship, it will just happen naturally.
Don't fret over this too much. No matter how much you try to prepare for this, it probably won't be even close to what you are imagining.

Answer 2

Many might have their opinions on adoption but being a mother i know maternal instinct and the love for your child is a feeling you cannot pretend doesnt exist, that in mind I know giving up a child will never be done without consequences, without the mother breaking their heart and thinking every passing day of that child. So people are wrong to judge you and do not feel put out by some of these comments i have read from other users. I know my partner was adopted and trully grateful that he was, he has had a good life, never wanted for anything and does not blame or hate his birth parent sin anyway.
The child may look for you but wont be allowed to until its 18th birthday. When it does, invite them in with open arms, explain why you felt the child would have a better life and be honest. Part of bringing a child into the world comes with a responsibility. You have chosen it is in the childs best interests to be adopted, but it is also in the childs best interests that you are there and able to explain all the reasons why.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I am adopted myself and I have never had interest in finding my birth mother, 30 years ago she wanted me, but how would she feel now. I have a mom, a dad, a sister, a brother-in-law and a nephew that love me and care about me.

If your child comes looking for you, you need to make the decision as to whether or not you want a relationship with them. Since the child will probably start with the lawyer or agency that you went through you could always contact them and let them know that you do not want to be found. Make sure that you also update them and let them know about any medical history in your family because that could be the main reason as to why the child is looking.

There is always different situations that could cause someone to look for their birth parents. Do you have an open adoption with the adoptive parents?

Answer 4

When you begin the process of putting your baby up for adoption, you will need to make sure to have some legal advise - preferably an attorney who specializes in adoptions. You will need to be sure if you 1) want the child to know who you are, and if so, you can -make arrangements with the parents. 2) If you don't want the child to know who you are - the parents need to know that as well. I am sure you can have the procedure closed, but you and the adoptive parents need to discuss this, as well as the attorneys. You should know that sometimes, learning of being adopted if not handled with some degree of sensitivity, a child can grow up feeling very, very lost. If the adoptive parents plan to tell the child, they should know as soon as they are able to understand. Your letter would be perfect then -a letter to help this child understand some of the circumstances involved. Bless you as you journey through this challenging time.

Answer 5

I doubt this is really an adult asking this question, but for the sake of other readers, I will answer.

With adoption through an agency or attorney, the adoption is either closed or open. If you left it open then the child can contact you through the adoptive parents anytime. If the adoption was closed, then at age 18+, it is possible to have the records unsealed and contact to be made.

You can go to your adoption registry in your state and request no contact or contact at age 18.

What do you do? What you want to do. Meet, or not. But respect that this child may have questions, needs, anger, love, or just curiosity. But the child does have a right to any of these. Be mature -- honor your child and your child's parents.

Answer 6

Ok, what is up with these people? They scream at girls for questions on abortion, and now they crucify for placing for adoption as well? Some who actually are saying you should have kept the baby since it is "your fault".....I don't get it. F$%^ing hypocrties!

I just placed my baby 9 days ago. Her parents plan to tell her she is adopted and have a photo of me and her older sister. If you want to meet with your child, tell them the truth why you placed him/her. If my baby came looking for me or her parents called to ask if I wanted to meet her in the years to come, I would tell her the truth. I was going through some rough times and I loved her enough give her to a wonderful couple who could not have children of their own who I knew would love her and give her all that I could not.

Answer 7

You can choose to keep yourself private when giving a child up for adoption or you can have an open adoption where they know who you are. Its all up to you. if the child came looking for you and found you then you need to act as an adult. It is YOUR Child...But at the same time they will have there own parents as well you will need to respect.

Answer 8

As said you can either decide to have some form of contact with thus birthchild or decided not too. Its more likely that nothing like this would happen in till birthchild is in his or her’ teens and maybe even older. In some places a birth child (or birthparent) cant even start a search till brith child is 18. You probably have quite a few years left to think about what you would do if birthchild decides to try and find you.

Answer 9

Please have a heart and meet with her. I gave a child up 26 years ago and have just found her after many years of searching she doesn't want anything to do with me and I have had to live with my decision for 26 years. She needs to know you care enough to answer her Questions and she might even show you the love you have always needed. You might even be a gradparent what a great thing that is. Take the chance to at lease meet with her and let it go from there. God bless

Answer 10

you could chose an open adoption to begin with.

or just explain to the child when they find you that you did what you thought was best for them by placing them with a family that could care for them. as I've heard it the birth mother is an angel that gives a baby to a mom who can't have one on her own.

i think it takes a lot of "guts" to give a baby up for adoption. and i comend a mother who can do that! especially if they know it is best for the child.