My boyfriend is away and he has apparently become really really close to this girl. So close that people think they are a couple in fact!! He did tell me about her and claimed that they were just friends but she was real upset the other day and he got upset as well. I don't know..I kind of feel a bit weird about this. I'm not normally a jealous type. Is this normal?
2007-06-16 07:38:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for all the advice so far!! Yeah he's a very sensitive guy and he gets on really well with girls, but I'm just so p-d off by the fact that he's "replaced" me with her now that he's away!!
2007-06-16 08:05:06 · update #1
God, I'd be jealous as hell, any woman would. You need a serious talk with him.
2007-06-16 07:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It may be that they really are just friends, but the converse is a more likely possibility. Most of the time, a man and a woman don't just stay friends for long, especially if an opportunity comes along for them to mess around and if they're both curious enough.
If he's in a relationship with you he has no business getting so colsely involved with another woman that people think they are a couple. And, if he had any respect for you he wouldn't have allowed the friendship to get that close either. Why be jealous? Use the time to meet some goodlooking new male friends, and be sure to write and tell him all about them and about the places you've been hanging out together. Who knows? Life can be very interesting sometimes. You may just find yourself with a much better boyfriend.
2007-06-16 07:46:08 · answer #2 · answered by webhead28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what to tell you.My first boyfriend I was with for 6 years, he had this best friend that was a girl which I never realized they talked for hours on the phone every day, I only found out after we broke up. He never told me because I was very immature and possesive at the time, aka jealous. However, he loved me with all of his heart, so it didn't matter that he was best buddies with her. Sometimes guys and girls are just friends, you know? They don't necessarily have to be ugly or a bad person, it's probably that click that is missing to make a guy and a girl just friends. They can be soulmates even, but not on the romantic level. Soulmates usually enjoy being in each others life and still have love partners. So until he starts avoiding you, don't stress. Go after your gut, what is it telling you? Good luck!
2007-06-16 07:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by stargazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. Jealousy sucks. Can he be trusted? A lot of people say that if a guy needs girl friends, there is something lacking in the relationship. I would not have a personal relationship with another guy. I would not want to make my husband insecure, or doubt himself. And yes, he knows I think he walks on water and that I love only him. If I have time to spend with a man, I want it to be him. You are not there for your boyfriend, but he didn't have to pick a girl to spend time with. Sorry. I'm a very secure person in a long term, successful relationship. But I don't think anyone would say it's OK. At least not someone IN a good relationship that can imagine themselves in the other shoes. Single people may say "aw, shut up...it's fine" They don't know the feelings involved. Honesty. talk to him and tell him how you feel. Always know, your feelings are valid and important. Even inappropriate feelings need to be addressed and dealt with. I'm not saying these feelings are inappropriate, they're not...I was just making a point. Best of luck to you. I would ask "why" he wants to spend so much time with her.
2007-06-16 07:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by escher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating this guy? How long has it been since he starting getting close to this other lady? Do you love him?
If all the above you can answer in your head and realise there is nothing going on then accept that it is just a friendship but if you have even just 1% of doubt then have it out with him and give him an ultimatem, if he choses you then you are happy if he choses her then you have your answer. Dont stand for being second best. Life is too short.
2007-06-16 07:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by Buffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your instinct is telling you that something is wrong and instinct is usually right!! I don't know why people can't finish something before starting another. Wouldn't it be more honorable to just say, sorry, I think we need to break up, I don't feel like we can go on any longer. I wish you all the best for the future, thank you for the wonderful times etc.... leave then start to go out with someone new??? Sorry, I hope I am wrong, but I would confront him and her if I were you! Or if you are sure without the confrontation I would just break up with him!! Good luck
2007-06-16 07:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by piano19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it really is. I had a friend just like that, almost EXACTLY the same situation. Everyone we knew thought we were a couple, regardless of how many times we spoke to the contrary. We were not, she wasn't even my type, it was purely an innocent friendship. Don't be worried, unless he has given you some reason to think there is more there - things are not always more complicated than they seem.
2007-06-16 07:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by Exosus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you feel...
My husband has a lot of friends that are girls (women) and he can also be a flirt.
I don't feel as jealous as I used to because I feel more secure in myself and in my relationship.
That being said, he also was with other women early in our marriage, then I had good reason. I was so insecure, I couldn't tell the difference between being jealous for a real reason and not.
Now, I realize that either he loves me or he doesn't. I cannot control what he does or his feelings.
2007-06-16 21:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by Ravenfeather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are too accomodating you are heading for trouble. everyone needs boundaries in a relationship and giving him free reign without objecting is sending out the message that you are okay with this situation. He obvously has feelings for her that are those you associate with the beginning of love and I expect he doesn't want to or doesn't realise it himself!! If I was you I'd tell him to make a choice but you can't live with three in this relationship as it will be doomed to fail if you don't! So you might as well be the one to make the choice that will have to be made sooner rather than later!!!!
2007-06-16 07:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by Confuzzled 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being inconsiderate to your feelings as a girlfriend. And he's being emotionally unfaithful.
This was common when I was an exchange student. The guys had girls back home and they told their female friend that they were taken, but things still happened.
2007-06-16 07:44:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ting 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but can you trust him?
yes you can be jealous, but don't tell him that he can see her, other wise they may actually become a couple! but speak to him and say that you want to spend more time with him, so in effect you are getting him away from her, but it is not because of her, it is because he is away!
i hope this makes sense, and good luck!
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2007-06-16 07:46:06 · answer #11 · answered by Klick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋