Basically I have always thought the man should ask and the man should pay,however I have had a few dates who thought we should go dutch.Which for some reason doesnt feel like a date at all.It feels like Im taking myself at and not special in anyway.What do you think?
2007-06-16 06:28:12 · 21 answers · asked by butterflyspy 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I believe the man should pay for the date, if he wants to take you out. Anything else isn't a proper date, your just hanging out, being friends. Thats the way I was raised and what I personally believe.
What it all boils down to is respect and the man should treat his date like a lady and someone he is interested in (more then a friend).
2007-06-16 06:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When I dated (Married now) I always went dutch.
too many males believed:
"A $$ gas or cash - nobody rides for free"
If you go dutch- there is no implied pressure making you feel like you were paid for and bought like a hooker- just because he bought you a cheeseburger.
You have to look at it from the male point of vew also. If the male was expected to pay every single time- he could never afford to date!!!
Going out is expensive. I have heard many males complain that they spent a lot of money on a date that never worked out well (they did not click) and they never saw the girl again. They felt as if they were going used as a method to get a nice meal.
The first couple of dates should be dutch- until you know if you like the person well enough.
Once it's been established that you are "a couple" then the dutch should stop- because at that point it just gets petty.
One person should say "my treat" and take turns.
2007-06-16 13:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless who did the asking, I have always been in the opinion that if the guy likes me, he has to pay for my dinner, the symphony tickets, my drinks, etc. After all, I gave him the pleasure of my company, and he should at least show his appreciation by taking care of the bill. It's not being a gold digger, but I feel something is wrong every time we go dutch on a date. If a guy accepts my offer to pay, then it means he thinks he doesn't owe me anything for spending time with him. Unless of course he's already my boyf, it's his birthday and I have decided beforehand that it's my treat (which should not be often).
When going out on a first date though, I almost always offer to pay because it is only polite but I secretly hope every time that the guy is nice enough to decline. If he takes my money then no second date for him.
2007-06-16 14:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Who asked whom out? If a guy asks you out--he should pay. If you ask him out--you should pay. If you just were hanging around together, and sort of jointly decided to walk into a cafe, or a movie, or something--but there was no real "invite" then, and only then, should each pay their own way.
"Asking out" is accepting the responsibility for the expenses. If the guy can't afford to ask you out, then . . . he ought not be living beyond his means! He needs to find a less expensive activity.
Once when I was in college, I wanted to ask a girl out. I had just paid tuition, and had no money though. None. Not a penny.
Before I asked her out, I went out and found some sticks. I got a newspaper out of a trash can on campus, and found some string. Once I had assembled all the materials, I called her up and asked if she could "help me on a project". She came over, and we made kites.
To this day, that was probably the most fun I ever had on a date. We laughed, talked, got to know one another, and spent about three hours just putting them together. When we were done, we went and played with those kites for another hour.
The responsibility to pay for the activity falls upon the "asker."
This is exactly why you date. To get to know how the other acts. It is pretty revealing to learn that he a) takes on obligations greater than he can afford, and b) has no class.
2007-06-16 13:40:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lorenzo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I usually think that the guy should pay, but I'm willing to make allowances if he's running short on cash or we go out a couple of times during the week...then I think going Dutch is okay, as long as it doesn't become a regular thing.
Sometimes I really like surprising the guy though and offering to pay for HIS meal/movie tickets/etc. Guys aren't used to being treated to things, so I usually find that they're quite taken aback when a girl offers to pay for something.
2007-06-16 13:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The short answer is: Whomever did the asking does the paying. BUT, in a special case like a high school prom or something like that, it should be agreed upon in advance to both shoulder the load.
"The man should ask and the man should pay" is a little archaic and somewhat outdated in today's world. If you had two tickets to a Knicks game and were sweet on a guy - ask him to the game, but then it'd be a nice gesture on his part to offer to take you to dinner before or after the game. If he says to you, "Hey, let's go grab a beer tonight after work.", expect to pay for your own, but it would be nice (but not required!) if he paid. (If it was worded, "I'd like to take you to a movie Saturday", then it'd be reasonable to expect it'd be his treat.)
2007-06-16 15:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had a gal that wanted to go out with me; however she said that its the man's job to take care of everything when it comes to a date. i was on ssi at the time didnt have a car either but this poor excuse for a woman said i should get a cab and go 2 hours to her house then come back;pay for dinner maybe a movie then send her back home. and she had a car. needless to say i didnt go out on a date with this woman.
to many men and women fought to get equal rites for women. its never a man's job. but i do think whoever it is that ask about the date its their responsiblity. there isnt anything wrong with a woman paying for a date. its not unmanly for the woman to pay however it is when the guy expects her to.if a guy expects the woman to. thats when she needs to dump him cause he's a looser. same with a gal if she expects the guy to then she aint worth going out with. the only reason its usually the guy. is because in the dating scene equal rites dont apply most women have been brought up to think its un lady like to ask a guy out or that its wrong for him not to pay for a date. women in general need to get off their butts and start doing their part. most guys have a fear of rejection. if a gal sees a guy she likes then by george she needs to make the first move and not just wait for the guy to say somethin
2007-06-16 13:51:50 · answer #7 · answered by gnr_tj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The person who asks should pay. If a man asks you out and then decides to go dutch, its probably because he lost interest in you during the date and doesn't want to bother paying for you. Other less likely possibilities are that he is cheap or broke.
2007-06-16 13:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The person who asks the other should pay, unless they include the "dutch treat" part in the suggestion to go out together.
Why do you think it always has to be the man?
That's not right.
The idea, BTW, is to spend time together, not for you to get a free meal out of it.
You should say yes or no based on whether you want to spend time on him, not on whether or not he's going to spend money on you.
2007-06-16 15:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
the person who asks should pay
if the person wants to go dutch try to pay for the whole thing yourself and see if the other person tries to pay for the whole date the next time
this is a big opportunity to get a glimpse at your partner's personality when it comes to money
2007-06-16 13:40:12 · answer #10 · answered by mardus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋