can you tell me many popular jokes?

Answer 1

A man is in bed with his wife when they hear a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asks his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door to see a man standing there. It doesn't take him long to realise the man is drunk.

"Hi there", slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to collect the kids from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's door? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "Go downstairs and help him."

So the husband gets dressed and goes down to help him. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts,"Hey, do you still want a push?"

He hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies," Over here on your swing"

Answer 2

Doc. asks an elderly lady,"How long have you been bedridden". The elderly lady answers" oh , about 20 years.Not since my husband died.
Woman asks a friend how her hospitalized husband is doing. Her friend replies, " oh he's fine,but that's about to change". The friend ask "how's that". Woman says "yesterday he took a turn for the nurse".
Two boat talking; one says "Oh I feel just terrible. First boat asks the other boat "why". Second boat "I just found out my dad's a Ferry and my mom's a Tramp".( Personally' I think they both were a little Dingy.)
Oh, you wanted popular jokes . Tree in the Forrest tells the other trees" Hey guys, notice how all the humans like to set under me and they're kids like to play under me and have picnics under me? That's because I'm a Popular tree. Tree near by grunts and says "rub it in . I'm pretty famous too. I'm a Piss Elm. I get visited by all the neighborhood dogs!

Answer 3

i just like this joke..
two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted
lolol my favorite joke