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Recently my fiance and I have been having a lot of problems and I don't feel like I want to be with him anymore, so I met and am dating someone else who I do love and I feel like this could actually last, now I haven't told my fiance yet but I already know how I am going to go about that its just I don't know how to tell my family especially since the wedding would have been in three weeks, the reason it is so hard is because a family member bought me the dress I was supposed to wear and I dont think that that person would care if I didnt want to get married anymore they would just be pissed that they bought the dress(of their own will I did not ask for that) and now I am not getting married.. so how do I tell my family?

2007-06-15 23:38:54 · 24 answers · asked by Jessi-Lyn Is Aleah's Mommy 2 in Family & Relationships Weddings

I think some of you have what I am saying completely wrong, my ex fiance knows that I am dating someone else he just doesnt know that I am In love with this man, and also I really dont appreciate all of you that are thinking im just some b**ch because I dont want to marry this guy and I am NOT a tramp. I am simply lost on how to tell my family members....

2007-06-16 00:00:41 · update #1

OMG HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS CAN I SAY THIS!!! HE ALREADY KNOWS THAT IT IS OFF AND I WAS NOT DATING THIS GUY UNTIL THE EX WAS CLEAR THAT WE WERE OVER WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT THE EX FIANCE DID NOT KNOW THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW GUY SO THOSE OF YOU TELLING ME THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS CAN SHUT THE HE*L UP!

2007-06-16 00:34:21 · update #2

also my family didnt pay for anything but the dress I (as in me myself and I) paid for everything and the only reason that i didnt buy the dress myself is this other family member really really wanted to and infact almost demanded it

2007-06-16 00:37:29 · update #3

24 answers

Sorry you're getting a bit of trouble from people answering. I read your question and the extra information. It wasn't clear in the first part that you and your fiancee had already discussed it and broken it off. Kudos for doing that first and for calling things off before you married a man you didn't want!

It's definitely a tough situation. I think the best way is to be straight with people. Tell your family that you and the fiancee were having problems and decided to call things off. You don't have to go into detail about the new gentleman right now.

As far as the relative who bought you the dress, tell them about this separately and in person. Tell them you don't want to hurt their feelings or devalue their gift. Then give them the option of either returning the dress and getting their money back or allowing you to keep it for future use.

Good luck!

2007-06-16 04:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need to tell your family right away. I don't know how big your wedding ceremony was, but maybe they can get back some of the money they have spent. Your parents love you and would rather you be happy than be in a bad marriage so just tell them. The more you put it off the worse it will be. Buck it up and tell them. Tell your Mom first I am sure she will be easier. The rest of your family don't realy matter so much. As far as the wedding dress tell the person to sell it on ebay or maybe take it back to the store purchased from. Or keep it for your next wedding. Now go tell them...

2007-06-16 00:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by Leepal 5 · 0 0

I'd suggest telling your parents first. How long have you been dating the man you're with now? Just sit your parents down and say "I know the wedding is supposed to take place soon, but I'm not in love with X anymore, and it doesn't feel right to be marrying him" Explain that you understand how much planning and care went into the wedding, but you're in love with someone else. Then, take it slow in your new relationship. Don't rush to get engaged or married again. I know it'll be difficult for you to do, but you need to tell them soon...it'll be more dissappointing the closer it is to the wedding. You may also be able to get some deposits back by canceling all your vendors early enough. Good luck on telling your family, and good luck in your new relationship.

2007-06-16 01:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Your family's first concern is your happiness. They will not want you to marry someone you have doubts about marrying. Just tell them you and your fiance have decided not to marry. You can introduce the dating someone else part later. You don't need to bring that up immediately. As for the family member who purchased the dress, you can ask if they would like to sell it so they can get some of their money back. He or she may even decide that they want you to keep it to use when you eventually do marry. Good luck to you.

2007-06-16 02:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0 0

How many other times will you find someone else you love when you and this new boy toy have problems?

Life is not a straight smooth road, you will have problems in every relationship and will have roadbumps that get hit on the way.

You do not know what love is, I mean you couldn't even call off the wedding and engagement before getting busy with this new guy.

As for your question, there is no easy way about it. Just tell them the wedding is off as is the engagement, you broke it off with the guy, and you will put the dress in the closet till you marry the next guy. Don't fret about the dress, you've got other issues to deal with (i.e. cheating on your fiance, telling family, wondering if your new boy toy is wondering if you'll do to him what you did to your ex fiance, etc).

2007-06-16 00:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 1 1

Well, if your family have your future happiness at heart, I suppose it will shock them and your ex too, but lets face it you don't want to marry someone you do not love, do you? So I would just call a family get-together and inform them of your decision and the reasons for it. After all, you can always wear the dress at your new wedding, cant you? Have a good day.

2007-06-15 23:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 1 0

Maybe you should start by telling someone in your family that you really trust and rely on. Then maybe this person can relay the message on to the rest of the family if you still don't feel comfortable. But remember this is your family so they should side with you and be supportive. At first the relative that bought you the dress might be upset but if they see you are happier with someone else they should care about your happiness first. And who knows they night get to see you wear the dress later.

2007-06-15 23:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by GunXXX 2 · 1 0

You just need to be honest with your family and let them know that the wedding is off and Mr. Fiance isn't "the one." As hard as this may be, it's even harder to deal with a failed marriage. You are setting yourself up for an awful time by not speaking up. If you have guests coming, you'll need to inform them as well. If you don't want to do it in person or over the phone, you better haul off to the post office NOW. Maybe send out a card that says "Picked the wrong guy. Gave him the wrong finger. Thanks for the support!"

2007-06-16 09:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by Shy 2 · 0 0

You are in love with someone, while you are scheduled to get married in three weeks. This is ridiculous, because you don't know exactly what love means.

Love can be bestowed to anybody and can be learned to exercise. It is not the high feelings of someone at first stages, coz, you're pretty sure that you've felt this the same with your fiancee.

Let me answer you directly as how you had asked your question. Simply announce your feeling to this new found love during your dinner time with whole members of your family. It's as simple as that, Good Luck!

2007-06-15 23:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

you may desire to get this addressed, and now. Your wedding ceremony will no longer make this bypass away; then you definately'll in simple terms be the spouse who does not decide to allow him out of the domicile for concern he will meet somebody else and bypass away you. Dig quite deep and decide whether you're feeling insecure as a results of fact his words do no longer tournament his strikes, or whether this is in simple terms your mind's eye working away with you. in case you think of he's legitimately contributing to the subject (case in point, this is in simple terms this ex and how he interacts together with her that triggers those thoughts), then postpone the marriage and the two attempt to artwork with the aid of it with him or end the relationship. If this is you, and you may't convince your self that the ex or the different female is not any longer opposition on your very own, then get some professional help interior the form of man or woman or premarital counseling. you ought to nevertheless might desire to postpone the marriage, yet this is extra suitable than wrecking the marriage over this.

2016-10-09 07:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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