can my ex partner do this with my daughter???

Question

last night 15th june 08, my partner now ex found out thru my computer i had cheated on him previously which i am not condoning is right! but what basically happend was i was 4 doors down the road with my friend i came back to find my daughter gone, he told me what he had found and that hes taken my daughter as im unfit to be a mum now surley my mistake in my relationship shouldnt make me a bad parent,me and my ex have been having serious problems for 2 years.but hes basically saying he will go to court prove im an unfit mum and i will never see her again.now ever since she was born ive had post natal depression my daughter went to live with my exs parents for about a year while i was getting better as wel i was stil seeing her having contact etc, i finally got her home on 12th may and now shes gone again,will my depression come back wil it ruin everything iv fought for, but the worse thing is im pregnant agin with our 3rd child which he doesnt want anythin to do with...please help!!

ok my mistake 15th june 2007
my daughter 20m old
im 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, and yes its his as i slept with the other guy apr and concived middle of may
i rang the police last night and their answer was because hes the childs father and shes not at harm there is nothing they can do.
i rang out of hours social services for help this morning they told me to ring police and seek legal advice theres nothing they could do, although they will be reffering me to customer relations unit on mon morning..hope this helps.

oh and one more thing i did care for my daughter, my ex would never allow to have contact i had to do everything on his terms and i fought back eventually,i was always being watched at his parents house with him there too.never allowed to have her sleep over unless he was there etc if you get the picture.

OH AND MY DAUGHTER WASNT LEFT HOME ALONE MY EX WAS LOOKING AFTER HER WHILE I WAS 4 DOORS DOWN THE ROAD.HE FOUND OUT THRU LOOKING ON MY COMPUTER READING A CONVO ID HAD,HIS MUM AND DAD HAD PICKED MY DAUGHTER UP TAKEN HER WHILE HE GOT ALL THE STUFF PACKED.

Answer 1

what a mess,take strengh and courage and stand up for what you want,go see a solicitor for legal advice

Answer 2

Well only the courts and a counselor can say that your are an unfit mother. The reason why you might be depressed is because you are pregnant! Mood swings the whole nine yards. As far as you cheating on your husband or partner, it's between you and him not the kids. You can consider that kidnapping your kid in the US. I would get some help and see a counselor on a regular basis. Even if you work things out and things go back to normal. It's not right to cheat, but it's not right for him to take your kids away from you either. You know that your kids are going to be ok, it hurts when anyone takes things away from you. Keep your head up and start making decisions wisely. If you don't love him anymore at Least give yourself the respect and him the respect and divorce or separate. Then you will be more comfortable to do what makes you happy. It sounds to me that you are trying to hold on to something and it's causing you to be depressed. Life is too short, make the best of it. Get healthy physically, emotionally, because your baby and kids are going to need you despite what your partner thinks. Good luck.

Answer 3

no. He cannot take her away due to you cheating on him. Does he have custody papers? If not, go over there and take your daughter back with your brother or something. He cannot do that because you cheated on him. He just came and took her, call the police. He can't just take her or you can do the same. Just make sure the child doesn't see any fights or drama between you 2. Also, about the post pardum. That is past. Your family helped out. If you had counselling, than maybe your counsellor could talk on your behalf. One question though, if your daughter is so young, and you were 4 doors down, was she home alone? He could use that somehow, so be ready with a d a m n good answer.

Answer 4

I cant help you with this as far as i can say that you should take the advice above here and see a solicter or at the very least the citizens advice if money is tight.
Yes you have made a mistake by seeing someone else and i can understand you ex being resentful for this, but i also feel for you, you sound like you have a very bumpy ride of recent and i dont like hearing of someone who seems to have had more than there fair share of constant bad luck.
After you ex has calmed down he will be thinking more rationaly, this im sure of, and things will get better, but get legal councel for the time being, and try to keep your chin up.
xxx.

Answer 5

Not he can not just take her, It is call parental kidnapping. You have custody and if he thinks she is in harms way then he has to be the one to call the cops and go to court.

what proof does he have that you cheated.? Unless he has pictures ADMIT TO NOTHING.

Weather it is true unless you had sex in front of your child the judge CAN NOT use that against you.

Go over to your ex's house with the court papers that say you have sole custody of your daughter and bring a cop and a social worker and TAKE HER HOME.

If the cops will not help you keep calling them and calling them.. Social services also.

Also get a lawyer.

Call a TV station or a radio station if need be. See if they will help with getting someone to help you.

Good Luck and talking to a counselor about your depression will be a good thing too,.

Answer 6

ur ex is not a judge, he cannot declare you unfit. until you have a court proceeding, you are still the childs parent, your ex is not allowed to keep you from ur child.
this all comes back to custody issues....do u have full custody? joint?did u lose custody during your post partum depression?

if you dont have a custody agreement go to the police station and formally charge him with Kidnapping. even if the child is safe he cannot prevent you from seeing your own child. when the police have all the facts they will tell you what you can and cant charge him with and if nothing else, they will escort you over there to see your child and make sure shes ok.

oh yeah AND GET A LAWYER ASAP!

Answer 7

What has happened to your power in this relationship?
How dare your ex partner take your daughter. He has no right to take her with out your agreement.
I think you've been alot and seem stronger now for it.

I myself had depression for two years, very severe and had a nervous breakdown but not at any time did anyone take my children from me. No one was there to help me i just got on with it and looked after my 3 kids, made them my priority. Your extremely lucky to have had the help.

Putting that aside. Please take control of this situaiton. Your ex cannot get away with this . If it was me i would go and get her somehow with someone with you.

theres no way id let my husband ever take my kids. I had a affair and he forgave me . It doesnt make you a bad person. Its hardly the crime of the century having a affair these days.

You need to seek professional advice.

Thinking of you! be strong and do the sensible thing and get your daughter home. No one has any right to take her. YOU ARE HER MOTHER!!!!

Answer 8

I would speak the the police first. Get there advice then contact a lawyer first thing Monday morning. The police may even know a lawyer who will see you today. You are not a bad mum because you had an affair or because you suffered from Post Natal Depression!! There are thousands of mums out there who have PND and still have there children.
As for the 3rd child, you don't need him!! Enjoy your baby!

Answer 9

Get a lawyer and get advice. Having an affair does not make you an unfit mother, he is using your daughter to hurt you as much as you hurt him by having the affair. You both need to maybe sit down with an impartial person (not a friend or relative)and work out the custody arrangements.

Good luck

Answer 10

my advice is to go to your local courthouse and file for a joint custoy order with a temporary custody order until final judgement is made this covers your maternal rights. And by asking for joint custody this shows the judge you are being rational and he will look like the irrational one who is just trying to rip a chil away from her mother. While it seems you have been through a lot it sounds like you are on the right track again and in most cases in a cheating episode is not a decision maker in custody because you are not directly harming the child. Good Luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 11

When your daughter was born you and your ex both had equal custody so this is just the same as if you taken your daughter and left him. Yes he can take your daughter if hes her father.

Honestly it sounds like he might actually have a case here. You need to talk to him about getting this settled because I dont think you have many laws on your side. The both of you are equal parents.