My rapist walked...I guess I have to walk also?

Question

My rapist walked away without jail time because I could not turn him in. I was too scared and to young. I wonder what to do about that? I'm not going to go after him. How do I let him walk out of my head also ? I am sitting here trying to shake him out of my head and wondering what it would have been like to be normal. I cannot even picture it. Anyone got any advice ? Any prayers ? I don't blame me anymore. Whatever, just whatever.

I am still a teenager so I look at that as a plus. I feel it gives me time to recover.

Answer 1

That happened to my sister when she was 16. I have no advice but if I could do anything to help I would. My heart goes out ot you.

Answer 2

Hey dear. Give yourself a hug first. I am a survivor and I go through torture everyday. The memories no matter how much we try, keep on coming back.

Rape is a crime the world does not care much about. I have not seen a rapist put in jail for life. In fact, now I have seen programs like Oprah where the rapists come to suggest they will become the therapists. You know what I mean. They come on talk shows after maybe 6 months jail and say they have been cured and would like to help society with the problem.

This is the cruel world we live in. Rape is taken so lightly that the careless behaviour of the legal system is torture itself.

I read on CBC.ca that a rapist is insisting he has rights and will live where he raped a victim. Rapists and criminals have rights? That is where I get really and truly tortured. I have watched the legal system for so long. In third world countries, rapists get away by dishing out money because there are economic policies in place to keep some countries poor.

So rapists have a field day. But in the west, rapists walk away and are now becoming or trying to become therapists.

You know what. Islam is a religion that is a serious criminal but if you notice, these criminals are now becoming human rights activists and therapists in the west. Have you ever seen any crime bigger than that?

Canada is one country that has aided and abetted criminals by saying they have rights. My rapist had more rights than me. The whole system stank of it.

Rape is a crime that leaves one totally devastated and believe me if you were here, I would give you a big hug. I know. I went through it. So take care of yourself. It is difficult but try hard to find some other focus in life.

I live with it everyday and I know how you go through it. Take care of yourself. Be brave. Be strong. Dont let him hurt you even today. Try to put it behind. I know I am lecturing but I am only trying to help. I know the feeling of torture that a rapist leaves behind. He is gone but the mental torture remains.

Please be brave. Find the strength in something else.
Take care.

Answer 3

You are going through trauma. It is called shell-shock, and it was coined during the second world war when bombs were used against each other. You have gone through a traumatic experience, and while "time will heal all wounds" I strongly suggest that you find someone you can talk to, find a therapist to help you through this rocky time. I know one girl who stayed in bed for two years. She was never the same after that experience. Please take care of yourself. The mind is a powerful thing, and if someone told you that youth makes you resilient, I say to them, the young mind is the most impressionable. Please please go get some help. This is not something that you can go through on your own. I was a sad witness to a child being hit by a high-speed car, and every time I go past that intersection, I remember it as freshly as if it had just happened. Now, a decade later...I wish I would have gone to get drugs or something to help me forget what that was like. Sometimes the only thing that got me through that was praying over and over, and this experience in no way is as traumatic as what you went through.

Anyone who says to forgive him...I don't know. There's such a thing as thirsting for justice. There is such a thing as being punished for doing wrong. He can't have no consequences! He's like a wild dog!

Answer 4

Seek professional counseling...

The statutes of limitation on rape may vary depending on who the perpetrator is in relation to the victim.. Don't completely discount turning him in... Many people will say 7 years is the longest you can wait , however this is not always true if the perpetrator is someone of authority (parent, teacher, clergyman etc.) the 7 year statute doesn't necessarily apply due to their position of authority placing a constraint on the victims ability to tell in certain cases.. There are women who have come forward to report rape 20 years after the fact and gotten justice in cases where the perpetrator was someone of authority in their lives..

As a rape victim myself I can tell you they never fully get out of your head, you do however learn to keep them in their place (the past) after a while.. Counseling will help you learn the tools to leave the memory in the past where it belongs instead of having it invade your present again and again..

Answer 5

Sorry you had to go through that...I would seek counseling from school or other. I'm sure you can "recover", but you'll always have that "scar"...kind of like when a loved one passes away...we eventually aren't as sad as time passes, but we never forget. So, please know that you are not alone and there are others you can talk such as support groups or seek peronal counseling.

Peace, Love, and Blessings
Greenwood

Answer 6

I'm sorry that you have had such a horrible experience. As for getting him out of your head, I just encourage you to seek help with a good counselor. I have found that writing lots of letters to the person helps a lot, just let it all out, (not sent of course)! I hope you can find peace within.

Answer 7

What's not normal about you? You are perfectly normal. Someone hurt you. Time will heal it. Therapy will help you heal it faster. Get help.

You should have locked him away. What were you scared of? You feel better that he is out on the street probably already looking for his next victim?

Answer 8

I know this sounds crazy right now. But forgiving him is the only way you can truly get over this. When we don't forgive those who have hurt us, they maintain power over us. It may not be something you can do right now, but just keep it in mind down the road....I will pray for you! Do you know the Lord? His love and forgivness will carry you through. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Answer 9

If you know who it is, you should let the police know, because he could hurt more ppl.
They can charge him, but 7 years after his crime they can't.

Answer 10

please report him.

or at least, if you say no to this, report him:

would you be able to live with yourself and feel fine if he did it to someone else? your best friend? your little sister? anyone.

and the best way to help yourself is to get to a counselor. school, personal, anyone... talk about it. tell them. you can even find a rape crisis team, they will help and you can remain anonymous.

my prayers are definitely with you.