Pre-Marriage Counseling?

Question

We will be starting this soon with our preacher. I was just wanting to know what to expect. He wants to do 3 sessions or so.

If it helps any, we are Christian.

I'm not worried about it - we have been together for 5 years. I think its a requirement for him to marry us - which I don't mind at all. Maybe it will be fun? I just want an idea of what to expect.

Answer 1

He's probably going to ask you some stuff about your relationship, make sure you are have thought about everything you can prepare for pre marriage and then make suggestions if you need them.

Answer 2

My bf and I aren't religious at all and I still want to do pre-marital counselling. I think it's a great idea. Way too many people get divorced too quickly these days without the willingness to work through tough times (in my honest opinion) and pre-marital counselling can give you a bit more of a base to work through any rough patches or issues that may come up.

My friend did it and although it wasn't exactly "fun" she said it was definitely worthwhile. You talk about all sorts of things like finances, kids, how to communicate better, sex, etc etc.

Answer 3

Just be truthful... especially about pre-marital sex if yall have had any. My friend and her fiance told their preacher the truth, and he offered suggestions on how they could enter into the marriage "clean" if they wanted to do so. They had been wishing they hadn't had sex before as their wedding got closer and closer... just wishing they had done it right, ya know? So, I think that if the preacher hadn't been so willing to help them with any and all of their misgivings/flaws, they would have had a lot of negative feelings about their pre-marital relationship hanging over their heads throughout marriage.

There is a statistic that like 1 out of every 3 couples who undergo pre-marital counceling end their relationship before they make it to the alter. IBut, I think that is mainly because that 1/3 of couples are surprised by how much effort a marriage really is. But, counceling IS a good tool, because it gives yall both skills on how to handle disagreements

Answer 4

Our pastor asked some down and dirty questions b/c there are a lot of things that will cause people to be in marriage counseling that they didn't discuss beforehand...we talked about sex and what our responsibilities were to each other in that realm (for the girl to not deny him, for the guy to not expect it every second, etc)...finances and how to deal with those, if you want children...what if you can't have children, etc. Just kind of going more in depth and how to deal with things when they arise.

Answer 5

Good for you. Although I didn't have it, but knew a friend that did, she in turn didn't marry the guy. They found out the didn't agree on a lot of things which caused a rift. Not saying yours will, but just really sit down and focus on your needs.

They ask will you both make an effort to instruct the children in the faith, how you feel about parenting, your agreements and disagreements, and how you would handle them, if you are truly placing God in your marriage.... and so forth.

Answer 6

When my friend did it, he asked them to write love letters to each other and to read a book. She didn't read the book, but no one ever found out about it. I don't know. I really think it's more of a formality. What would really be more helpful is to ask yourselves some questions about raising kids, how to discipline them, religion, which in-laws to spend holidays with, etc...I would go to a bookstore and browse through some marriage "self help" books, and write down some of the questions, so that you can discuss them with your significant other later. Ohhh...And finances. That's HUGE. It's the main problem that people who get divorced deal with, and get divorced over. Good luck and Congrats!!!

Answer 7

Go in there with your mind made up about spending the rest of of your life with this man. That preacher won't be trying to , but he is going to make you feel like you are not ready to get married or that you are too young. My man and I had our minds made up before we went in there because we knew what to expect. He only counseled us one time because he later found out that we were living together, he said that he saw no need and that he would marry us. But stay grounded

Answer 8

He will probably ask you both your opinions on certain marriage matters to see if you agree or if you disagree then how you intend to handle it. If he knows both of you are christians he will probably forego the lecture on being unequally yoked and the problems couples can face with that issue. I'm sure he will remind both of you that the husband is the head of the family, but he should "rule" with respect and love and not be a tryant or overbearing. He will remind you that although you love each other very much, according to the bible, you should both still put God first in your lives. If he is the preacher to both of you then he probably already knows you both and his main purpose will be to let you both know what to expect from marriage and from each other.

Answer 9

It's a very good idea, and great that you are doing this. Wow, you are lucky there are only three sessions! Usually things are covered like how you will keep your faith in your marriage, and if you have children - how to keep a Christian home; and other things that may be more practical like finances, cooperation, dealing with family, etc.

Answer 10

I know with the Catholic we take a little test to see all the areas we need to talk about more. It measure how much we've talked about careers, kids, money etc. There is no pass or fail. That's the first session, the second you go over it. In the rest they'll go over logistics for your wedding.