The sex talk?

Question

What should i tell a 10 year old when giving the sex talk. I dont want to be to graphic. What should i say?

Answer 1

Let them take the lead. Ask them what they know about relationships and sex. Clear up any misconceptions. Let them know that you are there for them with answers to their questions and not to believe everything their friends tell them because their friends may be misinformed. Be prepared because you would be surprised at some of the questions and you don't want to look shocked.

Answer 2

Actually, you kind of do want to be graphic. Whatever apprehensions you have or any uncomfortableness you have, you want to throw it out the window. You're her super highway of information and what you have to say and how you have to say it are both equally important. The more educated your daughter is the more able she is to make good decisions in the future and understand what you're saying. Don't worry about sheltering her, it's time to give her tools to work with. Kids respond well to reality. You'll need to touch on both the physical and emotional side of sex. By physical I mean how it works, the reproductive system and how it functions, and how they can be infected & explain the various STD's and what they are, importance of condoms in addition to birth control etc. On the other hand you have the emotional side- how to pick and choose partners, when to know it's time, real situations that you went through, feelings involved, how you can be hurt, when/where its appropriate etc. You never want to make the sex talk uncomfortable and if you're nervous, let her know. The more honest the better. You never want to make sex a bad thing either. You want to promote healthy ideas towards sex. The sex talk never happens just once, it's an ongoing education and sharing experience. You defintaley want to make sure you two are connected and that she knows she can come to you for anything, even when she thinks she's ready for sex. And remember, this is a conversation not a lecture or briefing, so interact with eachother- see what she knows, let her ask questions etc

Answer 3

I was 14 before my mother had the sex talk with me. Boy the times are a changing! I agree with the first answer, but wanted to add a couple of things.

When you talk to your child, make sure that they know that if they are not comfortable talking to you (in the future) that there are other sources for information (for ex. another family member, the doctor, planned parenthood, etc). Give them plenty of room to get the right information even if it is not from you. It's better have accurate information regardless of the source than to be afraid to ask and find out the hard way.

Also, if it's a female, explain to her that if a boy loves her now, he'll love her until she's ready to make that choice. If he pressures her, he's not worth her time.

As for a boy, explain that there is no pressure to have sex early and not to pressure a girl.

Sex is a difficult subject at any age... there are many books and movies that teach the subject as well. My mother showed us The Miracle of Life.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

First, ask what he/she already knows, or THINK they know. Then, make it matter of fact with no embarassment so they can always come and ask questions and not feel weird. I used a book called "It's Perfectly Normal." It was a great book that made it easier to explain. Plus the pictures are cartoons so they are not so graphic. I only did the chapters on the basics of puberty and intercourse at that time because I didn't want to overload them, but went back later as my kids asked more questions.

Answer 5

Buy them a gender specific book about the topic and leave it on their bed. Let them read through it at their own pace of free will, and read where babies come from and such. Then let them ask questions. You can't hide certain answers, so be honest and truthful, and hopefully you won't need to get too graphic.

Answer 6

I agree with Mom of 4 too - and emphasise the *relationship* part especially!
Best wishes,
Joan (Mum of 4 Grandmother of three (so far!)).

Answer 7

Mom of 4 has the best answer here.

Answer 8

i agree with mum of 4 she sounds like she has the right idea

Answer 9

plenty of reference books dealing with this issue go to a library