I'm Going to Hell. Want me to say Hi to anyone?

Question

After reading the Bible have have decided that I still believe in a God but I do NOT accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and I think the Bible is NOT the truth.

So, Would you like me to say Hi to Gandhi, Buddha, Chris Farley or anyone else? (that is the question)

If you want to pray for me, pray that my income doubles every year until I die, Thanks.

P.S. - I really don't want to be in Heaven with a bunch of Christians anyway. That sounds like Hell to me.

Answer 1

Jesus Christ...
extend my gratitude for taking my place.
for if it's true that he died in the Cross for our sins..
he must have gone straight to hell after the resurrection.
think about it.

Answer 2

Okay, I am going to tell you the Chaplain Rapski joke

A man died and went straight to the pearly gates. The Angel at the gate found his name almost immediately and offered to escort him right in, but the man hesitated. "Before I go in, I have a confession to make!" He said. "Well this is the place to do it, said the angel" "I have always had this morbid curiosity as to what Hell is really like" "Is that all?" replied the angel, "Come on, I'll take you down there and you can see for yourself!"

So they took the express elevator to Hell, the Angel threw open the infernal Gate and the man, with some hesitation, stepped inside. There, in the center of the entranceway, was a great big long table, filled with every kind of food you can imagine, but everyone at the table was starving to death!

"Have they lost their minds?" the man asked. "No, No, it's just that in Hell, they give you these six foot long chopsticks and you can't get t the food to your mouth!" "well, I've seen enough" said the man and he headed straight through the gate, they got on the stairway to heaven, and in no time at all, they were back to the Pearly Gates. The Angel threw open the gates, a red carpet welcomed them inside, choirs of angels started to sing, and - - - -

there, in the middle of the entrance was the longest table you'd ever seen, filled with every kind of food you can possibly imagine, but everyone at the table was fat and happy and sassy, laughing and singing and having the best time ever. The Angel took him down to one end of the table, to an empty chair and said," Here's your chair, here's your plate, and here's your six foot long chopsticks!" "WAIT!!!" said the man. "Wait, Please Wait. I thought I ws going to Heaven!" He started sobbing uncontrollably and it took the Angel almost ten minutes to calm him down. "Why are you so unhappy?" Said the Angel, thsi IS heaven and you made it!" " bUt, Buh Buh Buh But" Six Buh Buh Buh, Six Foot Long Chopsticks!" Blurted out the poor unhappy man. "Oh, Those,"Replied the angel. "Well, you see -- - -"

"Here in Heaven, We feed each Other!"

The Bible is a poorly translated document, abridged and rewritten to suit the purposes of Monarchists and Trimphalists throughout time. Jesus Christs' name was really Yeshua, and he is really a decent guy once you get to know him. But you have to remember that the council of Nicene got an offer from Constantine, to come up with a religion that everyone could agree on. If they could do it, they would become the only recognized religion in Rome. You know what it says in Revelation about what happens when everybody agrees on something. And that's been the problem this whole time. Darn Priests don't bother to read what they have been mis-translating all these years. I don't want to pray for you, but I'll pray with you anytime you want, No matter where you want to go.

Answer 3

I am sorry,I don't believe there is a hell,if there's a heaven,I think it's here on earth and it's what we make it.If you need something to believe in,believe in your self,Make this life you have something special.
If there is a hell and you go there,well there are so many people you can say Hi to for me it would take me all night to write it down.so just say Hi to the big cheese for me,tell him I am sorry that I didn't believe he existed.because there is so much love in my heart for every living thing that I don't want to recognize anything evil.anything evil to me is something someone brings on us or we bring on our self.
No,I am not an atheist,I believe in an afterlife that don't include a hell,or suffering I also believe that Jesus lived on earth to teach us,but I don't believe everything in the bible either.I believe that you have been hurt by your religion or someone elses.Maybe you need to study other religions,I think our creators have gave birth to more than one religion,If they didn't then your Hell is going to be over filled.
Many blessings,
Margaret.

Answer 4

Please pray for me too. I'd also like double my income every year and I do not believe that the bible is the truth. Tell My grampa I said hi if you get there before me.

Answer 5

the list would be too long.

Really, pretty much everybody I ever loved, partied with, meditated with. because damn it! (oops, is that a double negative in this instance???) anyway, not a one of us did the deed that must be done in order to avoid BEING ON FIRE FOR ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!

Although,.... Buddha, Shiva and I are like THIS (crossed fingers), so you had better give them my sincere love and namaste, or I'll be hearing about it.
Thanks ever so. Good traveling...

Answer 6

Well yes, actually. If you wouldn't mind looking up the ***hat that stole my car back in '91. The vagrant has subsequently died and still owes restitution.

Answer Man, you are my only hope!

Answer 7

Nah. By the time you get there, I'll probably be having a drink with George Carlin. Join us! It's on me.

Answer 8

Sounds like we're gonna party every night with Lennon and Harrison.
It almost a pity it doesn't exist, isn't it?

Answer 9

See you there.

Answer 10

based on that you will be first in line to heaven, In heaven would you say Hi to Charlie Chaplin and get his autograph for me