Why is the family court system so unfair towards fathers in California.?

Question

Just a humble U.S. sailor that finally got stationed back where my child is. Went to court and only got 10%, do all the transportation on picking up and dropping off (gas is so expensive), and with an extremely high support payment. Why do I have to pay so much? If she needs help, why not give me more time with my son, NOT more money from me.

Answer 1

I see the phony feminist has chimed in about the Family Court being stacked against women, to dispel the truth about the injustice against men. No way we got the true or full story there - either a complete lie or she's a convicted felon herself.

I've been to family court over 30 times, they always INITIALLY decide for the women and any facts in dispute always go against the man. They ignore her repeated violations of court orders and slander me over non-violations based on whiny female hysteria. It's bullshit. I've survived because I keep fighting and appealing, and have a good lawyer (she has a lying bully). It's take tremendous energy, time, and effort, but you do win if you stick to your guns....and running her *** out of money doesn't hurt either. Sent her into bankruptcy in 2000, and going for it again now...

That's how you win guys. It's ******* nasty, but it works.

Answer 2

You should file a motion to amend your support payments, and include a provision for the mother to share 50% of the transportation costs for your visitation. There might be a CA statute that requires this, not sure.

The courts are stacked against fathers because we have allowed them to be stacked against us. It all started with the "deadbeat dad" nonsense - when the truth is, there are just as many mothers that don't pay their child support either. But you don't hear about that.

My brother had a situation where his child was being verbally and physically abused by the mother, and the judge (a woman) STILL gave physical custody to the mother. These lousy judges couldn't care less about the truth. And let's face it, there a lot of rotten mothers out there.

I give you props for staying involved in your child's life - it isn't easy when everything is stacked against you. But don't give up and hang in there - it will be worth it to your child.

Answer 3

WOW -- think of it this way ...

I am NOW a Military Retiree, was a Full Time Custodial Parent, and was on Active Duty with the Military while stationed in California at one time (which is where the divorce happened -- and my ex is a MALE who was convicted of Child Abuse -- a true sociopath who is violent and abusive) ...

MY Experience was that even with ME wearing MY UNIFORM into the courthouse, it made no difference -- the JUDGE definitely was PREJUDICED (unfair) to the MILITARY servicemember -- and even with 100% Custody -- I had to FIGHT an expensive battle to take my children with me to my next duty stations (and retirement), had to fight all the ex's legal maneuvers,

and ... even though I did get a court order for child support -- it was artifically LOW and NEVER once in the DECADE and a HALF of raising MY Children as a Long Term Single Parent (both while on Active Duty and AFTER MY Military Retirement (and yes, I AM a Retired FEMALE Servicemember) ....

NEVER, EVER (not even once) did the judge or the California Child Support Enforcement put forth ANY Effort to hold my ex accountable for Child Support or the terms of his SUPERVISED contact or anything else that was in the LEGAL orders!

In MY Experience -- it is California's stance AGAINST The servicemember that causes the problem ... and that is DEFINITELY UNFAIR.

Now that my children are out on their own (they are adults) -- I STILL am waiting for the first penny of the back child support ordered (and it was NEVER Modified at all -- even though California does have a state statue that REQUIRES modifications every 2 years at a minimum and REQUIRES enforcement). I am NOT holding my breath for any of this -- and I NEVER Expect to see anything. Just won't happen ------


RESULTS -- I DID Raise MY Two Disabled CHILDREN on MY OWN with MY INCOME only -- and this despite the PUNISHING Divorce settlement that left me in very deep debt. The California Family Court system was WORSE Than no help at all -- they were DESTRUCTIVE and put blocks in my way during the past decade and a half -- and continue to allow my ex to come around every so often (Even though I have PROTECTIVE Orders in my state) to TORMENT me ... and yes, this EX did BURGLARIZE my HOME in August 2006 -- and California is YET to extradite this ex to MY state for Trial for the Burglary!).

SICK to death of California, Family Law Courts, and the way that ex-es (like mine) are protected there. I can only wish to see even a penny of support -- (and believe me -- I paid all their Medical Care/Other needs -- and that is expensive with Disabled Children!)

Answer 4

Do some serious investigating and join with other dads who want to do the right thing concerning their kids. Maybe there's a way to legally change this injustice. You are not being judged as an individual but you are being misjudged simply because you're a guy. Although I'm a woman I can still see the unfairness of this.

Answer 5

It's not just in California, it's everywhere in the states. It's unfortunate, but most of the court system is geared toward mothers.
All I can say is cherish the time you do have, and never talk bad about your child's mother in front of your son. You are frustrated, but don't give him that kind of baggage to carry around.

Answer 6

Life

Answer 7

I think you need to think about joining the [e-mail]
but to answer you questions from a dad who has dealt with the california court system for over 12 years having gone to court over 154 times, the courts go the easy route, do what mommy wants, she is the safe bet in their eyes. saves them from having to do real work

Answer 8

Courts choose the mothers and it use to be without visitation basically. those days they made it customary for a father a minimum of to bypass to the youngsters and spend time with them. this is extra suitable consequently to have not have been given any attorney and permit what ensue ensue. you may besides no longer decide the mum attempt to help her and the infants is your basically powers for now. men are frequently brutal to mothers and lie besides favoring their ownselves, as a results of fact the mum has the youngster they frequently get the infants and the better side on those concerns. i may be livid with fake accusations yet you may desire to play it cool and permit it bypass so it does not lower back hearth on you. you may desire to stay stable like a warrior and close your ears on your enemies that detest you.

Answer 9

I am single dad with custody, I can't get my ex to give me anything. She is supposed to pay child support but she refuses.