Is my family cursed ?, and if so what can I do? Christians only please.?

Question

In my family all of the men have commited adultry, father,uncles,brothers cousins.ALL! I was afraid it was a black man thing ( cause I hadn't seen any faithful Black men growing up)so I married outside my race to a christian youth leader. He commited adultry.

p.s. Most of the time they don't know why they did it( including my husband) and none of them wanted a divorce when the truth came out. I have more questions coming.

I also believe the marriage bed is undefiled so I took care of his sexual needs( also in the hope of preventing adultry).

my husbad is a complete oppisite from the men in my family. I was looking for the signs of a cheater and he didn't have them' but it happened anyway.

Thanks for all the Godly advice and prayers. I do know its not a race thing now but' I do hope to see atleast ONE faithful blk man in my lifetime.

Answer 1

Well, it's a generational curse, but once the Lord enters your life you are free. The problem is that although we may be free to sin, we sometimes end up enslaving ourselves again. Yes, I believe as you do that adultery can run in the family. Like alcoholics, some families have pre-dispositions to certain sins.
You have a right to leave him. If you stay, you and he must be aware that he has this predisposition and take deliberate measures to prevent this from reoccuring. Personally, I think he should resign from his pastor duties until you guys work this out.

May God bless you and help you through this horrible situation.
The Bible says the devil comes to lie, cheat, kill and destroy. Your husband has let him into your life. Kick him out by the power of Jesus.
Seek a Christian counselor asap!

Answer 2

Why did you assume that only Black men commit adultery? Did you really think that by marrying a non-Black man that you wouldn't have to worry about the issue of infidelity? (Brad Pitt and Mario Lopez both cheated on their wives and they're not Black.) I'm sorry that your husband commited adultery, but next time don't assume that because someone is of a different race that they won't do bad things. I hope you and your husband can work things out.

Answer 3

I feel for you in what you have gone through.
Sadly, adulery is not a 'black' thing or a 'white' thing it is a 'people' thing.
We all fall short of that which we ought to be.
But, no, you are not cursed. If so, you would have been 'compelled' to be an adulteress which, plainly, you are not
Has your husband changed his ways? Has he sought forgiveness from you and from God? (See 1 John 1:9)
If so, can you forgive him? You BOTH may need help to cope with the aftermath
I trust that you did not marry your husband just because he was not black, but because you truly loved him and believed that your marriage waspart of God's plan for your life.
You will remain in my prayers
If you feel it would help, please feel free to get in touch

Answer 4

There is no such thing as a curse. People have control of their own actions. I don't know what to tell you besides I'm sorry that has happened to you so many times. Some people are just not monogamous in nature and seriously may not even realize they will be hurting the people they care about.

Answer 5

I am sorry for ur plight - no ur family are not cursed

My explanation is a deep one and controversial. I'm the kind of person who looks beneeth the surface of current events to find the root cause.

Here is my explannation:

All world religions come into being after a prophet of God departs, and over time the institutions become corrupt and their followers go stray

Gods revelations to humanity did not stop when Christ died

Every thousand years or so, a new prophet comes along. They interpret the next phase of God's revelation which gives rise to new institutions and social laws that are appropriate for the age in which we are living

After Christ there was Muhammad, and the latest one is Baha'u'llah

Checkout: www.bahai.org

Answer 6

No, I'd say you're fairly typical.
Infidelity is fast becoming a "normal" behavior.

What I do notice is your history. You've only been around men who cheated all your life. Your role-models have all been cheaters. Some part of you is attracted to that kind of personality, and you are creating the situation you fear the most.

There are faithful and good men out there. Seek a man you Isn't on your normal radar. Expect and demand faithfullness.

Answer 7

It's really a matter of self-control and free will. You could have just as easily committed adultry as he. It is not a curse. Believing it is a curse superstitious. You are no more cursed than my dog. Its up to you in how you want to deal with it. Not all black men cheat and not all white men are faithful. The same goes for women....

Answer 8

Neither skin color nor religion played a part in this.

Even though you consciously thought that you were going against the grain, you settled with and/or encouraged what you were most familiar with. Familiarity is pretty comfortable. Even if it's painful, you are familiar with the type of pain you will endure..which is part of the reason its hard to break patterns.

The Family by John Bradshaw might be an enlightening book for you. It sure was for me, havent come across another book like it.

Answer 9

Marriage is a matter between husband, wife and God!

Your family is not cursed, who should have done it? God? No,God is neither tempting us, nor cursing us with a lust for adultery, NEVER!

Scripture clearly states; God never tempt us, that is the work of Satan
God sends us trails in order to strengthen us, to develop endurance, but He never sends temptations.

Saying it is because of a curse, is trying to blame the adultery on someone else, but the problem and the sin is solely to be placed on the individual who commits the adultery, hence this person has chosen to exercisers his access to free will, but done it in a poor way.

Not only is the blame being pushed off, which means no repentance (doesn't work with God) , but the sin also has terrible consequences for others, like you as a wife or kids (the head of the family is setting a poor example).

God has given us marriage, as one of the most sacred gifts, and yet, we throw it away just for a moment of lust?

What can/should you do?

First of all, seek God's help, pray for wisdom, pray for guidance and pray for yourself, your husband and your marriage.

Read the Scripture, block out the emotions while reading and evaluating, confront your husband with the Holy Scripture, he needs to repent and get back on the narrow path.

No matter what, forgive, do not become a slave of wrath and un-forgiveness, but forgive and be free, free to live with the Lord
Now, forgiveness does not remove consequences, and there is consequences.
Not only has the Law of God been broken, but also your trust.

.....none of them wanted a divorce when the truth came out..........it is not their decision, for they have no right to a divorce, they are the "criminals".
God will not allow a divorce based on this.
Only those who are victim's of adultery (like you in this case) can "legally" get a divorce under God's Law.

I am in no way encouraging you to seek divorce, but to find a godly solution to this matter.

A little something to think about from the book; The Pursuit of Holiness, by Jerry Bridges:

"When we are holding on to some sin, we are not pursuing holiness and we cannot have fellowship with God.
God does not require a perfect sinless life to have fellowship with Him, but He does require that we be serious about holiness, that we grieve over sin in our lives instead of justifying it, and that we earnestly pursue holiness as a way of life"

How do you pursue holiness in this matter; pray, read the Bible, seek counsel from your Church and demand your husband to do so too.

Be open and straight forward, make it known without doubt, that you intend to solve this matter in a God honoring way.

May the Father bless you and your husband with wisdom, courage and sincerity in this matter.

Hebrews 12:14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

In Christian Love
Soli Deo Gloria


PS.
Do not listen to "it is in the blood" theories. Again it is nothing but a secular excuse for trying to blame something or someone for the sin full behavior.
It is the Devil's attempt to water down the Christian values and the Christian Faith.
There is no way around the fact, it is a sin full act done in disobedience towards God, by exercising the free will in a poor way.

Answer 10

Okay, so your husband has gone astray. Do forgive him. Accept him back. Don't keep talking about it or bringing up the subject whenever you feel let down. Forgive and forget and make a new beginning. You have to get on with your life and he with his and marriage is both of you have to get on each other. God bless.