my boyfriend wants to go to a bachlortte party but i wont let him but he says there wont be any girls isnt that the point of one where they have strippers/ should i believe him and let him go? he says his cousins are really religious and there not going to have girls just a regular party should i let him go?
2007-06-15 13:45:03 · 19 answers · asked by crystalf 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have a rule with my husband. I don't tell him what he can and can't do. I tell him my feelings about things and he can choose what he wants to do. I decided long ago that I would not be suspicious of ANYONE and that I would be trusting and if he does not respect me enough to NOT cheat on me, then I don't need or want him.
It's never a good idea to become a dictator......
2007-06-15 13:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by michelle 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Bachelor parties are no longer only about drinking and watching strippers. Yes, some still feature naked girls and too much booze, but many are now just parties.
I also have to wonder if you're trying to keep him from going to the party whether you trust him. If you love him, you have to trust him. And if his cousins are that religious, there's a good chance there won't be a stripper.
Refusing to trust the guy is a great way to drive him away. What's more, it doesn't change his trustworthiness. If you can't trust him at one party, how are you going to trust him over bigger issues than a party?
My sister in law refused my brother permission to have a bachelor party because she was afraid of strippers and debauchery, but if she'd really understood my brother she'd have known that wasn't something he wanted. All he wanted was to go to his favorite local pub and have a couple beers with his best buddies. He had to cancel.
Luckily she calmed down after the wedding and started acting more reasonable, but I still think it was pretty annoying of her to deny him one little drink with his friends for fear of...goodness knows what.
If a guy is worth trusting, you don't need to put unreasonable demands on him. If he's not worth trusting, he's going to find a way to get to the strippers anyway. Either way, you need to either back off or find a guy you can trust.
2007-06-15 14:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My fiance had two bachelor parties (men have bachelor parties, women have bachelorette), one w/ strippers and one w/o. Though I am not a huge fan of strippers, and there are a few that try to get the men they are w/ in trouble, I wasn't concerned with my fiance going. If you haven't worried about your boyfriend before you shouldn't now...not to be harsh, but most likely if you are not serious, your relationship will probably not last longer than the ones with his buddies(bros before hoes if you know what I'm sayin'), he will resent you in the end for not letting him go. It is a common thing for men getting married and it would be disrespectful for him not to go if he is a real friend. If you can't trust him you shouldn't be together in the first place, you are never going to 'prevent' a man from cheating on you if it is his nature to do so. I am sure it will all work out, go out with your girlfriends that night and rest assured that you will be going home to meet him later that night/morning. Good luck to you!
2007-06-15 17:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by Rasta 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does your boyfriend want to go to a bachelorette party? Even if there ARE strippers, they'll be male. If you meant a BACHELOR party, they don't always have strippers. Especially not if the party is thrown by his religious cousins. Don't be so picky. Let him go have his fun.
2007-06-15 14:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. If there are strippers, so what. My husband has never gone to strip clubs on a regular basis, but he has gone for bachelor parties. Its tradition with a lot of guys and most guys will tell you that strippers are skanky and nasty and guys just like to look at them - they don't want to have sex with them.
Besides, the bachelorette parties I've been to had male strippers, and from everything I know, male strippers get a lot dirtier than female ones - for one thing, there usually aren't no touching rules with male strippers. So, I'd be wrong to watch a stripper and tell my husband he can't.
If you don't trust you boyfriend around strippers, then you have trust issues period. These parties are only bad news for people who would cheat anyway - if he would never cheat on you, then it really is just harmless fun.
2007-06-15 14:07:37 · answer #5 · answered by DSL 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He is going to a bachelor party (this party is for guys - Groom) not a bacholorette party (which is for the girls- Bride). Let him go. My fiance is having a Bachelor party with all his friends one week before the wedding. I trust him. That is why we are getting married. You don't let him have fun he is going to see that you do not trust him and things may go downhill from there.
2007-06-15 14:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not all bachelor parties have strippers. There are actually some mature grooms, best men and groomsmen who don't find it necessary. I think you should tell him it is okay with you if he goes and you should definitely word it that way cuz wording it that he "cant" go is opening up a can of worms you do not want to deal with. No bf, gf, husband or wife has the right to "tell" the other what they can and cant do, but only to tell them it is okay with you.
2007-06-15 17:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I can't see how your going to stop him. Your not his mother, you don't "let" him do anything.
My husband has been to 3 bachelor parties. Only one had a stripper, and that was at a club. The other 2 parties, they sat around drank beer and played death-kill-everyone games on the computer.
Frankly if you try to stop him you will only come off as insecure, controlling and manipulative. I don't think your that type of person ... or are you?
2007-06-15 13:57:11 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
First off, you shouldn't have to "let" him go. He should be able to make the decision himself. And if his cousin is really religious, I doubt there would be strippers there. Even if there is, you should trust him to not do anything wrong. I don't think it's bad for guys to watch strippers as long as they don't touch.
2007-06-15 14:27:13 · answer #9 · answered by jenn_sr03 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I still am trying to get over your question should I LET him go!! Are you his girlfriend or his mother? Boy are you jealous and controlling !! You are smothering him !! Is he a man or a boy !! LET him go !! If you don't have trust you don't have anything !! He says he'll behave and if he loves you he will!!! Men go to bachelor parties girls go to bachelorette parties !!
2007-06-15 14:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by Polar Molar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋