I do professional party design. I've been working on a wedding recently and it's driving me nuts. It's not that she's a bridezilla (she is but if you can't deal with them stay out of the wedding business) but that her decor choices are horrible. I deal with people all the time that have diff. tastes than me and I'm good with it.
In her case it is compeltely 80s, the colors are bad, and it will all look cheap even though its costing thousands. She refuses to listen to my advice even though that's what she's paying me for! Even her family and bridal party has tried to talk her out of them. Its her wedding and she can do what she wants but I don't want my name on it unless she makes a few improvements. It looks really bad on my business but I don't want to seem like I'm quitting because she doesn't do everything I say or have her trash talk me because that would hurt too.
2007-06-15 13:31:49 · 18 answers · asked by pspoptart 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, bless her heart, it is her wedding. All you can do is just constantly try to lead her in the right direction. She sounds pretty head strong so I don't think you'll have that much luck swaying her opinions. You don't want to give ultimatums either. That's also not good business. If the end result is a real tack fest just don't use the photos in your portfolio. If, in the end she is happy you will have a happy client who will refer you to others and she will provide a good testimonial.
2007-06-15 13:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy Paige 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
This one is kind of hard to answer because on one hand if you think your reputation as a wedding planner is at stake and you feel it would hurt your business then you should be honest with her and tell her why you feel you can no longer be her wedding planner, but only if she has enough time to replace you and only if you are going to give her a 100% refund regardless of what you have already done. On the other hand to decide not to help her because you dont like her choices could also hurt your reputation. Being a wedding planner is not just offering your advice, but handling the details of what they want whether you agree with it or not. There is no reason why you have to include any pictures or details of this wedding in your portfolio.
2007-06-16 00:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh!! Are the bridesmaids wearing leg-warmers?? lol
It comes down to what type of reputation you want: do you want to be the wedding planner that is known for pleasing her brides or known for planning elegant and beautiful weddings. Sometimes you can't have both.
If you wish for the latter, just tell her that although you respect her decisions for her wedding, you do not feel that you and her are just not on the same page regarding her needs for the wedding and perhaps she would be better served with a wedding planner that better understands her needs.
Further explain that since you don't quite "get" her vision that you are unable to provide her the level of assistance that she is paying you for. If you find a new planner for her (maybe a new planner that is looking for the experience??) things will go that much easier, and will be harder for her to refuse.
You need to make it sound like you are doing her a favor otherwise she will spread via word of mouth to not hire you but I completely understand that you don't want the guests to know that you were the wedding planner lest they get the wrong impression of your taste.
And I'm thinking in the future you'll going a clearer picture of what the bride wants before agreeing to accept the business. :)
2007-06-15 23:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you don't want your name on that job, and be associated with it, and it would be bad for business, then quit. There is no other way out. Tell the bride to be that there is a conflict of ideas and you feel that she is not letting you contribute your expertise to this wedding so you have decided to leave the job.
It shows that money does not necessarily mean class and taste. Quit and move on. You don't need the aggravation.
2007-06-18 12:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. I would explain that you are a consultant and it seems as if she doesn't need one. Maybe if you say that your standard of business is to help design something beautiful for those who put their faith in you because they do not have the time or expertise and she doesn't seem to need that. I would show her a few beautiful ideas and see how she reacts. If she still wants to pay you, you can always not put it in your portfolio and use the experience as an example of letting the bride choose the theme and use it as a marketing tool in the way that the bride always comes first. Good Luck.
2007-06-15 21:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just let her know that you do not feel comfortable doing her wedding, because of the difference in opinion. Go more into detail though that you do not want your company to look bad because of a bad wedding. Even if she doesn't understand and does say something bad about your company if any one seen the pics of her wedding all they could really do is laugh at her right.
2007-06-15 21:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by Rita S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not about you. It's about her. If she's not breaking any laws, she (and possibly her fiance) have the final say.
It's possible she just wants you as a sounding board for her ideas. It's also possible that she merely wants you to carry out her ideas to the best of your ability. Put it this way: she's the playwright and you're the director. If the director can't carry out a vision of the play that pleases the playwright and fulfills the author's vision, the director should quit.
If you really think her decor will damage your reputation, thank her very much and gently but firmly resign, and recommend another party designer or wedding co-ordinator whose ideas will most likely gell with hers.
Ultimately, it's about the marriage, not about the wedding day.
2007-06-15 20:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a touchy situation! Have the two of you signed any contracts? If so, you're stuck! If not, it's touchy!
I understand your not wanting this event to make you look bad, however, please know that if she talks and tells people that you "quit" on her, then it will make you look bad too!
I would hate to have to work on a wedding or any other event that it TACKY, but, everyone has different tastes.
However, since you have stated that you have tried to state your opinion, which I assume she is paying you GOOD money to do, maybe you could suggest to her that she take over for herself! Tell her, and try to seem realistic about it, that you feel she is wasting her money paying you to do this, because she is doing such a great job herself! Secondly, tell her that you feel she could better "pull off" this event if you got out of her way and let her handle it!
Then based on her reaction, you can always say, "Hahahahahah, Funny huh!" and keep going on with things. Or B, she reacts well and you get out of doing this!
Other than that, I would say you would have to stick it out, but just let future clients know that this wasn't your taste, but you were trying to please your bride! Some people will appreciate your willingness to keep a bride happy!
Good luck! I'm glad I'm not in your shoes! Let us know how it turns out!
2007-06-15 20:44:37 · answer #8 · answered by jen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would just come right out and tell her that you really dont think she is making good choices here and that having your name on it looks bad on you and can damage business. that might get through to her or at least get you of the job. I dont think some people on here realzie that when yo uare hired it is you job to do what the couple wants, but if it looks bad on you then it hurts business for you too. I wouldnt want to hire someone after seeing a hideous wedding done by that person. and if its the brides wedding and she can have wahtever she wants then let her plan and do it herself too. I'm sooo sick of hearing "it my wedding" "it your wedding" well if thats how people feel plan the stupid thing yourself and dont invite anyone who might ruin it for you...GOD!
2007-06-16 01:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of you being a professional is you carrying out the plans the client wants. Do that to the best of your ability, even though the plans for the wedding aren't to YOUR taste. Just don't use those pics in your portfolio.
2007-06-16 09:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋