I have lost control of all 5 boys. From the minute they were born I became a push over and let them walk all over me. I was always scared to discipline them and I still am.
Now their ages are: 14, 13, 11, 6 & 2
The elders are the worst. I don't know what to do but I am afraid to be alone with them
2007-06-15 13:29:36 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well if you are really afraid of the elder ones you need outside help and if necessary they need to be removed from the home if they will not accept reasonable discipline.
You should concentrate on the younger two - perhaps the eleven-year-old too if it is not too late and you can get him under control away from his older brothers - and tighten up severely on discipline before they go the same way as the older ones.
I brought up four boys on my own and they knew that I was in charge from day one - they were scared (when they needed to be!) of *me* and that's just how it has to be with children sometimes.They also knew that they were loved and cared for and I would protect them against any real harm at school or so on so they respected me too and accepted that I only disciplined them for their own long-term good (and it worked!).
I would never let *anyone* walk over me still less my own children - what is that teaching them as regards their attitude towards women in the future?
Best wishes and good luck,
Joan.
2007-06-15 13:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The older 3 are lost to you. You can try military school. It MAY solve the problem. But you'll need to get them away from the younger two immediately. There's still a chance for them. At this point, call DYFS and have them take the older ones. Maybe a while in state care will make them appreciate homelife a bit more.
2007-06-15 13:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had a better answer for you but if I were you, I'd call Nanny 911 or someone like her in your community that can help you with parenting classes and how to become more authoritative. You also need the support of your husband, if you have one. I know you have to get the situation under control because you've got a lot more years to go and can't just walk away from them.
2007-06-15 13:37:35 · answer #3 · answered by italiangirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to some parenting classes and make the rules and stick to them. It will be very hard to get them to respect you and follow the rules now but you have to demanded their respect. You will have to follow them as well. If you say they are grounded for a day then tehy are grounded . Follow through with every direction you give. nanny 911 might not be a bad option to help start the process but nothing will work if you wont follow through.
Also talk to a counsler for your frustration as why you were so scared to discipline them. Best of luck to you.
2007-06-15 13:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by diane33michigan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take control. They are the children, and you are the adult. You are the boss of them, not the other way around. You have set a bad example for all the kids, and you are going to go down the same path with the little ones as well. You need to dicsipline your children. You may think it's too late for the older ones, but it's not. Ground them, spank them, anything to get their attention and let them know you are in charge now. Let them know there's a new set of rules, and if they don't like it, tough.
2007-06-15 14:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to change, it is not entirely their fault that they behave the way they do. You taught them that this is acceptable. You need to make some changes and don't expect it to be overnight either, It took years to make them this way, it will take time to change them. I have 2 boys and they are 5 and 10 years old and they have nothing but respect for me, but I have never been a push over and what I say in the house goes! Give them chores (responsibility), take away privileges, and most importantly, explain to them how this behaviour is unacceptable.
2007-06-15 13:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by Top Secret :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you afraid that they will hurt you? Its hard to give advice if I dont know what exactly they are doing to you. Its time to show them who is boss. You love your kids and I am sure they love you. They are all probably acting out because they want your attention. You are a push over so you said and although it sounds silly they dont want you to be like that. They want someone to care enough about them to say no. Now once you start taking charge I am sure they will rebel but the key is consistency. Dont let them walk over you.
2007-06-15 13:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by angel l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you made your bed now you must lie in it. But it is not too late. Take control and come down on them hard. They will learn that it has changed and they better behave. Do a parenting course that runs over many weeks so you get the back up and the support
2007-06-15 16:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice i ever got was "don't let the children be the boss"Kids NEED discipline, you cannot try to be their friend they need limits. With the younger ones you will have to toughen up, it's your job as a mom, for the older ones stand up to them, refuse to be a doormat, otherwise it will never get better.
2007-06-15 13:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know what you are talking about. not from a parents viewpoint, but the kids. i always wanted attention from them, but i never got it. even if the attention was dicipline. i just wanted some recognition. it is time to step up and be the mom. my mom had 5 kids too. my brother goes out to tp peoples houses. and once my mom started to go to his basketball games, he stoped for the most part. so play with them, take them fishing. even if they don't want to. get to know them, and if that does not work. get counceling. and bring them too.
2007-06-15 13:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋