Church Bells
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
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A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of
2007-06-15 13:18:08 · 9 answers · asked by enchantress 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"
The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."
The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."
The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"
The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."
The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"
The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."
The guy says, "Dddo it!"
The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her.
2007-06-15 13:18:32 · update #1
I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"
The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"
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no offence to anyone.
2007-06-15 13:19:24 · update #2
Those were the best. I loved the grandparents one, the dr one was good too.
2007-06-15 13:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well offence TAKEN! JK funny jokes
2007-06-15 20:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol 4 the 2nd one. here, have a star
2007-06-15 20:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL x 10
2007-06-15 20:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by collegegyrl06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its pretty good i liked the first one more
2007-06-15 20:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OKAy, pretty funny
2007-06-15 21:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very funny, both of them
2007-06-15 20:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by pepperbdl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
interesting but i dont get it
2007-06-15 20:26:52 · answer #8 · answered by pur4 HeARt3d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both were hilarious.....LMFAO
2007-06-15 20:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by Let it go~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋