does he need help? is it serious?

Question

im really worried about my brother, he is 16 and uncontrolable, he has always been really good until about 6 months ago, then he started getting drunk a few times a week, at first my mum and dad would tell him off and ground him and this worked (as it did with me!)but then his best friend killed himself at the end of feb and things have got really bad, he drinks every day (says it is nothing to do with the death) but i not sure? my mum and dad just cant controll him anymore, if they try to ground him he would just laugh and threaten to get more drunk than usual, they are walking on egg shells constantly as they know he has been through so much this year (also just done gcse's) he has been to counceling a couple of times but says it was useless, he knows he can get away with anything (though he would never do anything criminal) we have never had to deal with a suicide before so do not know how best to handle this? anyone elso who has experienced this sort of thing? tried talking to him

he has lots of other friends and is really popular, there was like 6 of them who were all best friends, we talked about it a lot when it first happened but dont want to keep bringing it up, i don't even know if the death is the main factor in this or whether he just wants to get drunk, the problem is mainly my parents feel unable to control him now, they dont want to upset him so just give into him

Answer 1

This is a tough situation. My younger sister was on the same track for some years as a teenager. She saw a councilor and still went down the road. If your parents can get him to see a different councilor maybe that will help. Unfortunately he needs to want the help in order for it to work. You and your parents should also see a councilor. Arguing with someone in his state is a waste of time and counter productive for everyone involved. Punishing him will only make him more rebellious. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Good luck and God Bless.

P.S. My sister met someone who helped get back on track, They married and now have four children. She was one of the lucky ones.

Answer 2

Oh dear, your brother is in a world of trouble!

Neither the suicide nor the booze have helped. And ordinary counseling isn't going to be enough. He needs to detox. Your parents have to find a rehab center where he can live and be monitored 27/7.

Barring that, they might look into a kid's Boot Camp- Something that will make him straighten up. I'm not sure I really like that idea, considering some of the recent news. But your brother needs to be brought to his senses, one way or another.

Good luck.

Answer 3

As a healthcare provider I can tell you that to a degree at this age he will do as he is going to do. However, walking on eggshells and being afraid to 'upset' him is the same as you and your family being enablers. At this point he has a drug problem (alcohol is the most commonly abused drug). When one member of a family has a drug problem, the whole family has a drug problem. You all need counceling as to how to handle this situation, not only for yourselves, but he is killing himself.....and your family (motivated by love, howere misguided) is allowing it. Al Anon is a wonderful support group for people in this situation and can provide needed instruction on how to handle this right. He needs more than counceling......this need an intervention.

Answer 4

if there is any way, you need to try and get him to stop drinking. he may think it's making him forget, but it's really a depressant... so it's making him feel worse. i wish i knew more about how to help. best wishes.

Answer 5

Yes, it is very serious. He is a minor, so your parents should have him committed to a mental health facility or rehab treatment center immediately.
Channa