Back when my boyfriend and I were first really getting to know each other about 6 months ago, we took turns telling our deepest secret. Mine was sexual and it was something that I am ashamed of and something that makes me cry every time I think about it. Now months later, if something makes him think of it, he will suddenly become real cold and not want to touch me. The secret happened many years ago before I ever knew him and I don't like to think about it, but he seems to hold it against me. I get mad at him and cry whenever he brings it up, because he can't seem to let it go, but then he gets defensive and avoids me. Besides this, he is a good boyfriend. He just doesn't know how to deal with this. I wish I had never told him now, but what's done is done. How does a guy get over something that he didn't want to know about a girl's past?
2007-06-15 10:11:39 · 5 answers · asked by playfulscorpio13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You really need to sit down with him, and discuss this. He can't let things that happened years before the two of you met, ruin a good thing now. He has to forgive you, and you have to forgive yourself, for this to work. Good Luck.
2007-06-15 10:21:49 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow, sounds like he needs to grow up, obviously, this is something that bothers you, and unless his head is made of rock, he knows that already, but he might just need you to confirm to him that it hurts you that he acts like that. my boyfriend and I have a similar problem, but it was something that happened during a break in our relationship. he kept bringing it up until I finally told him how much it hurt that he couldn't just put the past behind us and let me just do the best I can from now on... he said he understood and even apologized for how he'd been acting, all he needed was to hear from my own lips exactly how I felt about it before he realized how horrible it was that he wouldn't let it drop... good luck with it, though.
2007-06-15 17:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by Xotchil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is NO besides this. If you told him something out of trust, he should not hold it against you because that is not love, or even a friend. You should tell him that when he throws that in your face, it hurts you deeply and that if he continues to hold your past against you that your going to move to the future. without him.
2007-06-15 17:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through a similar situation where my future wife told me some things. It made me nervous about our future because you wondered if it could happen again. These were things she did of her own free will, so I wondered.
Does this apply? Could he be thinking, if she did this before, can I trust her? Again, if it that kind of thing, this could be what he is thinking.
2007-06-15 17:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he didn't want to know, he should have never asked. Secondly, you deserve better than this. He sounds controlling and manipulative. If he can't move on and forget about this secret, then you need to move on with you life. You deserve better.
2007-06-15 17:21:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋