My good friend of many years is a 30 year old single mom. She has a history of bad relationships and chooses men that are really bad for her. The father of her child abused them both and the next guy after that was abusive too.
Now she has moved on to a married man who has three children. She believes all the b.s. he tells her and hife wife or babies momma (whatever she is) calls her sometimes but she doesn't want to talk to her. He recently went to jail for a domestic dispute and got out only to be back in jail for another domestic dispute. My friend just says his significant other is crazy. I tried telling her he didnt get arrested for doing nothing, he had to have done something. She didn't have anything to say.
She gives him money while in jail and seems to have no intentions of leaving him.
I have tried talking to her about her men before which resulted in her not talking to me for a year and a half. She obviously has serious men issues!
Any suggestions?
2007-06-15 08:37:28 · 28 answers · asked by *Rumer*Severin* 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I grew up this lady and we have been good friends for years and dont want to see her and her daughter go through any more. She friend calls me and wants to talk about this guy and I really don't know what to tell her.
2007-06-15 08:41:53 · update #1
I have tried setting her up with nice men and she wants nothing to do with them. Nice guy have been interested in her and she wants nothing to do with him. Only the jerks she wants.
2007-06-15 08:43:53 · update #2
What she needs right now is you to just continue to be the good friend that you are. She doesn't need a new man because she's going to have some issue that she will need to deal with after this is said and done. Like why she continues to seek out the same type of men and become the victim. She will need counseling and help with her self esteem. A new man is not going to fix that.
Just keep pointing out to her that she deserves so much better and what she's doing to herself and her children. They don't need to see so many people coming in and out of there lives either; that can mess them up. No matter what you do she's got to want to help herself. She will wake up eventually but it will be because she has to hit rock bottom emotionally to want to help herself. Don't listen to some of these ignorant people on here with there ignorant remarks. They're probably just kids.
2007-06-15 08:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by honeyb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit her down, explain calmly that what you're about to say is the truth, and that you don't want to see her get hurt. Tell her that she may not realize it, or WANT to realize it, but the men she sees are always getting into trouble. Tell her that when someone does something bad, it is very likely that they will do it again. Tell her that there are a zillion other men in the world, that she isn't suck on this particular one. Tell her, if she doesn't stop seeing him, then it is possible that she'll end up being hurt emotionally and/or physically. She may love him, but love can sometimes hide the truth from people, whether they want it to or not. You love her, and I can see that, so tell her exactly what you've told us, and let her know it all. If she truly loves you as well, as we hope she does, she'll listen....friends usually know best....If that doesn't work, then let it go for a while, and see what progresses....if it gets out of hand, then mention it again.....keep trying, and she may get the hint.....
2007-06-15 08:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by punker89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could certainly get a girl friend. Girls love a guy with a sense of humor in fact, unless they are extremely shallow, i find most girl consider a sense of humor more important then looks and you don't want a shallow girl friend anyway. However girls are usually turned off by a guy with a low confident level so I would say learn to love yourself more and be more confident and you should have no trouble finding a girl.
2016-05-21 03:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by tena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend just seems to like the bad guys and the attention they give her. She is not attracted to the normal guys. She enjoys getting the negative attention, too. There isn't anything YOU can do for her. She will have to do it herself or for her kids. It is sad, I know.
The only thing you can do, is sit back and lend an ear when she needs one. If you are tired of hearing about it, then maybe it is time to cut her out of your life.
Sometimes you outgrow friends and the whole reason you became good friends in the first place, gets outweighed by the bad things.
2007-06-15 08:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by jenniferjones 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She thinks she can't get anyone better. Her esteem is very low. She needs to believe in herself and start raising the bar higher as far as what she expects from her boyfriends. Alot of times women go into these situations thinking they can change the guy. they just pull the woman down. She allows herself to be in these stressful relationships and the man and the woman are unhappy.
2007-06-15 08:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If discussing this with her has been a deal breaker in your friendship in the past than the only thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and let her figure her own life out. She doesn't want help and she doesn't want to help herself. When she does find out what a loser this guy is and she comes to you maybe you can set her up with a nice guy and see how it takes.
2007-06-15 08:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You might not be able to save her from herself. Some people just choose the bad boy not realizing that they are really bad. Like felons, bad. Tell her what you can and try to give her feedback but in the end she chooses the guys she dates, for better or worse.
2007-06-15 08:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have spoken with her and she still goes for that kind of guy just sit back and dont do anything. There is nothing more anoying then hearing someone constently talk to you about something they see wrong when you see it another way. You will never change her mind. sorry
2007-06-15 08:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by Johnny M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If shes choseing thes wrong guys its not only bad for her and her heath, but it couyld be bad for her chile. point out haow if she keeps on choosing on the same leval that she has been, then she will never break the cycle and she should either take some time off from dateing or go for different guys. she has do do something different or nothings ever gunna change.
2007-06-15 08:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by Hey hey hey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I can see that you're concerned. But you have answered your own question. You have done your job as a friend and told her the truth. If she doesn't see it, that is really her issue.
All you can do now is be there for her when this guy hurts her. Just try to resist the urge to say "I told you so."
2007-06-15 08:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by FredsWife 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋