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Im a submissive and I want to start incorporating sadomasocism/discipline/bondage into our sex lives but I don't know that he'd be into it, and I don't want to sound like a freak, how should I tell him about it?

2007-06-15 08:12:19 · 18 answers · asked by IceQueen 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

18 answers

surprise him by wearing a leather cat-suit and a Hannibal Lector mask when he comes home from work.

2007-06-23 05:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

Contrary to what others have said not every man is into this, in fact there are many men and women who find BDSM a massive turn off.
You can broach the subject but do not be surprised if he reacts, how can I put this, like the Hindenburg going down, a chimney being knocked down or a balloon deflating.

You do not have to ‘move on’ as someone suggested, this is a person you are in a relationship with, and they have fears and emotions just like you. They are not a piece of meat to bend to your will, to be thrust aside if they do not comply.

Don’t be disheartened if this happens because there is a whole world of sexual fun out there for you and your partner (I would use the word kinky, but unfortunately this is misused by sadists as short hand for sadism, something many outside BDSM have no idea of). It is possible to enjoy a rigorous, adventurous and fulfilling sexual relationship without BDSM. Speak to your partner, you might find that he has fantasies which are much more fun, and then you will not have to adhere to the arcane rules, processes and conventions that sadism is so riddled with.

2007-06-21 22:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by Corneilius 7 · 2 0

Well if he is like most men he would probably be all for it. Just be honest I doubt he will think you are a freak. Besides if he does what does it really matter? This is who you are so...he should accept it or move on. As mentioned he will probably eat it up unless he is like me and I am more into a women dominating me. If this doesn't work out IM me and Ill be glad to see if the other way works...just kidding....or am I....

2007-06-15 08:18:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6 0

Test out the waters a little. Scratch him a bit or something light to see how he reacts.


It worked for us..I scratched him..he pinned my arms down.. we gave each other a look that apparently implied "you're like that too, huh?" and the rest is history...afterward we talked about it (both very open) and laughed because both of us were afraid to mention anything before.


Good luck!

2007-06-15 08:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by Brittany 2 · 6 0

There are several ways. One is to joke about it while making strong eye contact, e.g. he gets miffed about some little thing and says something to which you reply, "What are you going to do about it, spank me?" Another is to position yourself over his lap or over something like the arm of a chair or sofa, wiggle your booty while looking back with a wicked, mischievous smile on your face. Or you can ask him when you're being very intimate, "You ever think about spanking a woman just for the fun of it?"

2007-06-15 17:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by Net Rider 3 · 4 0

Just tell him honestly...life is too short to not be getting what you want in the sack...your sex life should be as good as possible and it sounds like you won't enjoy sex/life as much as possible unless you are open and tell him...anyway, most guys would be into it, I know my b/f is!

2007-06-19 05:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by Brooke 1 · 2 0

Get him the book...When someone you love is kinky OR Different Loving...this will help open the door to talking about it.
If he is to be in your life, you need him to not just know about it, but be willing to try it...otherwise you will be forced to find partners outside of your relationship.
Good luck sweetie.

2007-06-19 12:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by naughty lady 2 · 0 0

first talk abit or suggest some things he could try or make a fun game out of it... such as you have to keep your arms at your side when he kisses you, or suggest he use a light blindfold on you..then progress from there...remember open communication is the key...and safety...

2007-06-15 10:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by emt_dragon339 5 · 3 0

When he's in the mood for sex, smile, give him a pair of handcuffs, and say, "Would you like to try these?"

2007-06-15 18:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

just start slowly and start making it a small part of your sex life, see how he reacts to it before you go and tell him the whole deal...

2007-06-15 08:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by back to haunt u 3 · 4 0

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