What age should kids learn about bodies?

Question

Talking about anatomy, my boyfriend's daughter is three and still doesn't know how to refer to her female parts, other than calling the whole area her "bum".

My boyfriend absolutely refuses to say the word "vagina" in front of his daughter, which I believe is teaching her that it's something to be embarrassed about. My mom taught me it was just a body part (albeit one to be respected) which I believe is the best way to handle it. How old were you when you learned the difference between girls and boys, AND how much information should I give her when we do talk about it? Being three, I'm sure just the basics are fine but I've never had to do this before. (Her dad's given me the assignment since I'm the only woman she knows who's willing to discuss things.)

Answer 1

Speaking as a mom of four, I feel it's very important that as soon as children can say the words, they should have the words! Safety is a big part of it - how can a child describe if anyone touched them inappropriately - God Forbid. Also for being able to treat them medically - how can a child describe where it hurts, for something as common as a UTI if all she can say is "Bum"? Small children (2-3 yrs) don't need great detail, but they should know about their bodies and the correct names for all body parts - and they should be told never to be embarrassed - nothing about their bodies is bad and never let anyone tell them so. Your mom taught you WELL! Why should naming their private parts be any different than their nose or ear? As they grow older, more details are given when the kids are ready - even if the parents aren't ready.
In our family, we have boys and girls - my husband deals with our son more and I deal with the girly issues. It's more for their comfort level than our own, but the children all know they can come to either of us about anything and we communicate openly as a family.
My oldest daughter was 2 1/2 when she walked in on her her 3 1/2 yr old male cousin in the bathroom. She was so confident with her own body - she knew and still believes she is perfection - that she came screaming to me that there was something "really WRONG with Eli!" We explained girls and boys are built differently and that's the way God makes us. Girls carry and have babies, Boys are the dads. Then around 5, we explained more, then more as they grew older - makes it much easier having a continuing conversation!
Your boyfriend probably isn't comfortable because he doesn't know how to communicate dealing with this particular subject. It doesn't get easier - it just gets different as girls grow up. Even if he can't bring himself to say the word, I think it's important for him to communicate to her that even though he's her father, he understands how girls' bodies work and she's normal and if she ever needs anything, he's there for her and he'll understand - communication is the biggest part in any parent-child relationship! Good for you for stepping up though! You'll all be fine!

Answer 2

I think it is natural. It is life. It is not wrong or embarassing. My daughter is 7 and knows alot about sex already. If it was 2 generations ago, it probably would not have come up at all at this age.. but nowadays... an informed child, is a safe child. The naivee children are prone to abuse. My daughter knew a boy had a 'stick' (LOL, I didnt' know what to call it) at 2 years old. By the time she was old enough to know the difference between 'family information and public information' I introduced the appropirate words... around age 4-6... before that she would have walked around repeating those words around other kids. Anyway, she now is 7 and knows quite abit about the world. I just answer her questions, honestly, whithout embarrassement. Her questions are basic anyway so far.. but she has learned to trust me for the truth and will ask me instead of talking on the playgournd (which will start happening in grade 3 next year...) and she will know the FACTS, not playground rumors

Answer 3

I have 3 girls and 2 boys and I feel using names like hoohoo for girls and weinie for boys is absolutely fine. They will learn the scientific names eventually and know exactly what they mean. use the words you feel most comfortable with since that will convey your approachability to the little girl. At 3, keep it short and simple. Girls have a hoohoo(fill in your term) and boys do not. We are different and that's ok. This area is private, and no one has the right to touch, see or tickle there. Mom, Dad and sometimes a doctor may need to for a medical purpose but no one else ever! That should be plenty. If she asks more, especially if she is a precocious child, give her a little more info. Dad should be able to speak matter-of-factly about this also, though so she will never feel awkward talking to him about a personal or medical problem. The dialogue needs to start now to pave the way for a healthy communicative relationship in the teen years when this will be a more serious issue.

Answer 4

My children are 3,5,and 5, 1 boy and 2 girls. They all know that boys and girls are different and that what privacy means.(they don't always respect privacy yet but they know that they should) Just the basic stuff like no brothers in the girls room when changing or no sisters in the bathroom when boys are in there. As for what to tell and how much....I would answer any question they ask but just enough to make them happy with the answer. Don't go into to much detail till ,in my opinion, 8 ish because she could start her cycle any time after that, and needs to know what is happening when things happen! I also didn't get into technical titles either, you have the place you pee, your booty and chest and they are all private parts. Even at 3(my youngest) knows that they are not to be touched or seen by anyone other than mama, daddy or Dr's.
I hope this helps
Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

She should at least know how to refer to her private parts appropriately. My daughter is 2 and she knows her butt and her vagina. She also knows that boys have different genitals than her. She has seen her father naked and recently remarked on the difference when she was helping me to give her little brother bath.
I believe that i was 2 or 3 when i was taught the difference in the sexes.
Just the basics should be enough information. Just boys have a penis and testicles and girls have a vagina. There are also some great kids books out there that will help you to explain the differences. Barnes and Nobles has a whole section with educational books like that.
Hope this helps!

Answer 6

I would start young with how babies are made. Start with "a mommy and a daddy make babies and the mommy keeps the baby safe and warm inside until the baby is ready to be born" or something like that. When my daughter ask's (she's almost two) that what I tell her. and as she ages all add more in such as how they are really made. They have great books at the library that will really help. I think 5th grade is the perfect age to start talking about sex. Kids are learning about it from their friends at this age and rather them learn warped ideas about sex & baby making, we should teach are children the truth, sex, STD's, condoms, and all! Of course we don't want to be to grafic at that age, 6th grade we need to be. I remeber hearing about a 10 year old girl and an 11 year old child having a baby. I heard this on the news a few years back. So yes, I think that people may be waiting to long to teach their children about sex. Sex is all around us, on the TV, in magazines, even disney movies (have you ever noticed there is the sexy princess and handsome prince that fall in love?) so we need to teach our children the truth about it early so they know how to aprach the subject at school with their friends, or anywhere for that matter. It also helps the parent/child interaction because if we start young we will be able to maintain (hopefully!) an open relationship where are children to come to us with any questions or needs. Have a great day!

Answer 7

You need to give it a name at least. Maybe when she's just a tad bit older, like 5 you can tell her the techincal name. But at this point it's just gonna in one ear and out the other. But, there should be a difference in the "bum" and the vaginal area.

When my son is born, I'm going to call his penis his "dinkle". ha ha, only because he needs to know it has some sort of name. I know this is a tad morbid, but in this day in age, there are pedofiles everywhere. I want to be sure my son knows that NO ONE is EVER allowed to touch his "dinkle" ever once he's old enough to take care of it himself, which about 3 or 4 is the age when they can start bathing with you supervising, but they can do a lot on their own too.

Answer 8

When they start asking ,is the right time. some basic things ,like body part names, could be taught, using other words, til she gets a littlle older. I really dont think they should know , the words vagina, penis, in this form, use another word, so you know what shes talking about, but doesnt go around in public yelling out those words.

Answer 9

I think a good age is 5. This is just the age when they should know they are different than the opposite sex...Not the whole birds, bees talk.
At around 11-13 they should know about the changes they are going through.
A couple years after that or at the same time you can tell them how babies are made and talk to them about safe sex and when to have it and stuff.

Answer 10

If there is one thing I will argue, is that it is never to early to teach a child about there body. My children, learned at a very early age about their bodies. When visiting their butthead of a father, I worried that he would bring them around people I would not approve of. I educated my children about themselves and the small details of the "no-no's" of what other people could be capable of. My two oldest children now have enough knowledge for their ages to inform me if anything were to ever happen to them. I wil educate my other children as well. I'd say...teach her. And don't lie when she askes a question, even if it seems bizarre and embarrising. Good Luck!