A woman in a coma has a vision of God. She asks Him, "Lord....is this it? Is it time for me to die?"
God said, "No...you still have 4 years.....6 months.....3 hours.....and 34 minutes to live"
"Great" she said.
So when she awoke from her coma, she immediately went to get plastic surgery. She got a new chin, liposuction, breast augmentation, face lift......etc......
Two days later, she was hit by a car and died.
When she approached God again she said, "I thought you said I still had 4 years to live?"
God answered and said, "Sorry....I didn't recognize you"
Hope you got a chuckle
2007-06-15 07:58:29 · 9 answers · asked by primoa1970 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I did...Here are a couple short ones for you.
Do you know there were no worms on the ark?
(Worms come in apples not pears)
Do you know why they didn't play cards on the ark?
(Noah sat on the deck)
2007-06-15 15:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by Jan P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Vanity all is vanity.
"all is vanity" was found 5 times in 5 verses.
Ecclesiastes 1:2 - Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 1:14 - I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
Ecclesiastes 2:17 - Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
Ecclesiastes 3:19 - For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 12:8 - Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
2007-06-16 10:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by deacon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a pissy mood all day. The presses were acting up and the water-ink balance just didn't seem to be there. This was a good pick-me up. I smiled for the first time today. Thank you.
2007-06-15 08:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by RIFF 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did chuckle, Primo!
I sure did need it after reading Danny Haszard's BEST answer regarding financial expense one's religion.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agl2lpnHI5c0Yxfh2uKLz93ty6IX?qid=20070612100021AAU3BDq&show=7#profile-info-1d172da8266bc8049a171e749d536d67aa
For His glory,
JOYfilled
2007-06-15 08:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by JOYfilled - Romans 8:28 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol -
A scientist challenged God - "We have learned so much through science that I can make a human just like you did"
The scientist reaches down to scoop some dirt up and
God stops him......
"Get your own dirt"
2007-06-15 09:40:14 · answer #5 · answered by BaseballGrrl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've heard it an approximate of 13,550,384 times, but, that's OK......
2007-06-15 08:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by Heart-Shapped Poe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"You'd better turn the other cheek, 'cause here comes the big one!!!"
Lol
2007-06-15 08:05:34 · answer #7 · answered by CanadianFundamentalist 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
chuckle,chuckle.....
2007-06-15 08:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
2007-06-15 08:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mandolyn Monkey Munch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋