16 month old throws up when I try to put him to sleep by himself, what do I do?

Question

My son is 16 months old and since he was born he has slept with mommy. Being a single mother, I have my reasons why. I have been attempting to break him of the habit of having to fall asleep with me. I have started with nap time and putting him in his pack and play so he cant get out and he is safe. The last 4 times I put him in there he threw up 2 times from crying to hard. I lay him down with a bottle and say goodnight and leave the room. I am worried about him throwing up and possibly suffocating or something. I try to check on him, but if he sees me it makes it so much worse. I need help with ideas about how to put him to sleep by himself. Thanks for all your ideas. The real ones are really appreciated. I understand there are alot of people who don't agree about a child sleeping with their parent, so the negative comments about that decision is not welcome.

Thanks!!!!!
Cathy

PS its not that i dont want him to sleep with me, i DO NOT have an hour to put him to bed everytime he needs a nap or is ready for bed. If i let him, he wouldnt fall asleep til 2am... I just wanted to know an easier route to putting him to bed at first without me... thanks

Answer 1

My son slept with me until he was two. It was easier. I was pretty much a single mother (boyfriend lived in different city, we saw at the very most on the weekend, and at the least we went months without seeing each other), and life was stressful. I firmly believe in relieving stress in little ways like that to provide a happier life. Kudos to you for telling people to keep their negative comments to themselves.

Maybe sit in the room with him until he falls asleep. Get a rocking chair or something, and read a book. Then he gets used to the bed and being in it alone before he is actually alone.

With my kids, I used to give them a blanket or a sheet that I slept with before. It had my smell on it, and that was a little reassuring. Or move his pack and play into your bedroom, and you could lay on your bed while he lays in his.

Maybe he just isn't ready to be away from you yet. That's understandable, and unless there's any big reason that he should sleep on his own, maybe postpone it for a little while.

Answer 2

here are my ideas some worked for us some havent.. youngest child slept with us because she had a hole in her heart.. scared the crap outta me she also had asthma she outgrew.. she slept with us till she was about 2 1/2.. I think of the things that realy worked was getting her a clear piggy bank and setting a quarter on her nightstand i then would tell her if she stayed in bed ALL night then she could keep the quarter and put it into her bank in the morning. Another things we did was get her a glo-worm , she also has a Dora doll that sings and the stars glow. Maybe you can figure out something that he would like as a reward. I know it is very hard to break it and I understand why you are doing it but he is a "big boy" now and he can sleep in his own " big boy" bed.. Maybe getting him new sheets and comforter that he picks out will help too.. If you need more help E-mail me at [e-mail]
Hope this helps!!
Being a single mom is tough.. been there-Done that!!

Answer 3

Ugh, this brings back bad memories, I went through the same thing with my oldest son. My problem was I got into this horrible habit of rocking him to sleep, which could take up to an hour sometimes. Then I was pregnant with my 2nd child, and I had to break the habit... my son was the same age as yours. My son would cry so hard that he'd throw up at every naptime and at bedtime, so twice a day! I was frantic.... kept calling my pediatrician, who assured me it was fine and he'd get over it.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and it took two weeks since my son is very persistent! I kept a very consistent bedtime ritual, and then he just had to cry it out (and throw up). My son usually threw up leaning over the crib onto the floor, so I put towels all around his crib to make clean up easier. I will admit occasionally I'd go in to get him in the morning and there would be some vomit in the crib with him. But, nothing bad happened to him, and he survived it fine, and ended up being a great sleeper. Don't worry about your son suffocating, he is old enough now.

I'm sure people are going to say I sound cruel, but my son was none the worse for wear, and I think in these situations you really need to play hardball. It sucked, and I probably cried more than my son did, but it worked out.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Very frustrating I know. Try to leave the door ajar, and put a mirror in a way that you can see him, but he can't see you. this way you can watch him and feel confident that he is not hurting himself.
1. Best way is to put him down, kiss him say night night.

2. If you feel you need to go back into the room Just lay him back down and say good night.

3. If for any reason you need to go back in the room ( to clean him up ) Don't talk to him, just do what you have to do, lay him back down, and walk out, no words.

4. Keep repeating 3 till he falls asleep.

This may be very frustrating so please have support there for the first day or 2.

If you break any of the 4 above you will have to start from scratch ..

Good luck.
And remember sleep separation is harder on you than him .

Answer 5

Hi,

I am not a fan of co-sleeping and this is one of the reasons, but truly you are a single mom and sometimes we just do what we can to survive. I can relate to that 100%!

I think you need to first install a bedtime routine. My daughter's is bath, lotion, fresh diaper and PJ's, brush teeth and hair, read bedtime story...good night. We also play a few soft songs of a CD for her both at nap time and bed time. She goes to sleep easily and all on her own.

However, before you really see the results of the bedtime routine, you perhaps might try that method where you stay beside his bed and keep gently laying him down. Then slowly move further and further from his bed night after night. That way he knows you are there to reasure him. And he can gradually get used to you not being there when he goes to sleep. You do have to stay in the room until he is in dream land...so this is a time consuming way to go about it.

When our daughter would wake up in the night we would always go and just resettle her. Don't speak and minimal light. Just lay them back down, give them their soother if they use one and quietly leave.

I wish you luck Cathy! I know it is hard and we love them dearly so we hate to hear them upset.

Answer 6

I'm not going to be negative. My children slept in bed w/ me almost every night (and now that they are 3 and 5 many nights they still come in during the night!).

If you don't mind having him in the bed w/ you, you could always just continue to let him sleep in your bed. I don't think there's anything wrong w/ little children sleeping in the same bed w/ their parents; I think it can be very comforting for young children.

It's probably hard for your son because his routine is to fall asleep w/ you, but I can understand why you would need to get him to fall asleep on his own. You might want to try some sort of transitioning him into his own bed rather than just putting him down and saying goodnight. You can try sitting in his room & rocking him to sleep for 2 weeks, then putting him in his bed & rubbing his back till he falls asleep for 2 weeks, then putting him down & reading him a story, etc.

I think he's just used to you being there while he falls asleep, and when he doesn't have that, he gets upset. Good luck, and just keep in mind that the older he gets, the less he will need you at bedtime.

Answer 7

I say allow him cry and be trained to self soothe himself. I suppose that's very principal and I did that with my son and at 8 months it has performed him well (no longer in an average approach) You can take a look at your hobbies and if he's crying then positioned him down allow him cry for fifteen mins and prefer him up and check out once more. If he maintains to cry then depart him in there for longer. I realize its difficult seeing that I went via my son most effective short of my husband to position him to sleep in a specified approach. I needed to take breaks.Then while it did not I needed to arise with my possess hobbies. I am definite you are going to discover whatever you prefer and fits you. Good success to you.

Answer 8

ITs ok all kids cry from the seperation. Just keep doing it don't give in. Clean the baby up and where ever and just put him back in. Eventually he will get the hint. But if you take him out and coddle him its not going to work walk in take care of the throw up and walk out. It not being mean he will be fine. Crying is not going to hurt him its going to hurt you cause of the crying but let it happen.

My son did it. Every so often he starts doing it again. But hes trying to get my attention.

Answer 9

Hey! My daughter sleeps with me also. She is 2 years old. She would do the same thing. I just let her sleep with me and my husband, cuz I can't stand to her her cry for Mommy or Daddy and we are right there. It's like she thinks we are punishing her but we are not. If I were you I'd let him sleep with you untill he is a little older. Then you can tell him he's a big boy. Right now he just wants his Mom to comfort him at night. Besides if your a single Mom then just let him, that way you can have a lil' man in the bed with you! HA HA. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 10

I think maybe a crib would be better . sometimes children make theirselves throw up as a reaction to something they are forced to do . Maybe let him stay awake for longer periods and then he will be sleepy and will go to sleep naturally . Try that for a while and if this still does not help consult your pediatrician for advice . good luck .