I have a co-worker who I'm very friendly with. We get along fine. For months she's been helping to plan her sister's wedding and is essentially paying for the entire thing(I don't know they're relationship well, but her sister has never been able to keep a job, and I have no idea why the husband to be isn't pitching in any). A few weeks back she gave me a wedding invitation, for myself and a guest.As well as info on where they're registered.
I like my co-worker/friend, but I'm not really interested in going to her sister's wedding. Do I have to give a gift though? I don't know about wedding ettiqute.
If I do give a gift I'd rather it be for my co-worker/friend than her sister(who I've never met) just because she's put in a lot of work and money into it with very little thanks it seems.
Would it be rude to gift my co-worker(not at the wedding, but a day or two before) instead of getting a gift to the bride?
2007-06-15 06:48:14 · 11 answers · asked by Seriously, Passionately 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Re:The sister's lack of appreciation. My co-worker has personally told me they live together, she doesn't have a job, doesn't cook/clean, pay rent and my co-worker is weary of all of this. I took it from her that she wasn't being appreciated.
2007-06-15 07:45:15 · update #1
Gifts are never required whether you can attend the wedding or not.
You don't know her sister, so I would send my regrets and a card.
I'm sure your coworker would love to be recognized for her planning so if you want to get her a gift go for it!
2007-06-15 07:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should. You can give her a gift as a freindship gift but I wouldn't give her a wedding gift it would be kind of strange. You don't know for sure what kind of appreciation she has gotten from the bride and it's kinda rude to imply that she hasn't been appreciated.
If you aren't going to the wedding you don't need to send a gift since you don't know these people. If you do go get a nice card and put an amount of money you are comfortable with in there. I would put like 20 or 40 dollars in it since I don't know them but your co-worker obviously wants to help them get started off on the right foot. Perhaps your co-worker invited you because she wanted the company for herself at the reception so I would consider going. At the wedding just compliment her on a great party and how good/happy her sister looks.
2007-06-15 13:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wedding gifts are optional, not required. You may give one if you like, but receiving an invitation doesn't obligate you to anything other than an answer. For the sake of your co-worker's feelings, though, you might want to give a small token gift. That's up to you.
As for giving a gift to your co-worker, well, it's certainly not required but there are very few occasions in life where giving a gift is completely inappropriate. She might well appreciate a small, spontaneous gift so long as you don't couch it in terms of giving her a gift in lieu of giving one to the happy couple.
But a nice bottle of wine or a box of her favorite candy with a nice note about how she deserves a reward for all she's done for her sister? That would be lovely and thoughtful.
2007-06-15 14:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know the bride, and don't want to give her a gift. Don't go to the wedding. No need to give a gift if you don't attend either. I would not recommend going to the wedding and giving her sister a gift. When parents pay for a wedding do you give the gift to the parents or to the bride and groom? Same thing would apply. Wedding gifts are intended to help the bride and groom starting out their life together, not to thank the host.
2007-06-15 13:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by dice 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I have this correct.....you were invited to the wedding of someone that you don't know?
I would have declined the invitation and declined sending a gift. You are being invited for the sole purpose of providing $$$ for the event.
If you wanted to do something for your co-worker, then I'd invite her out for lunch, for an evening show or volunteer to assist her in some way in set up for the wedding.
2007-06-15 14:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by demarkation_line 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, Emily Post would say yes, if you are invited you should provide a gift, even if you do not attend. Your co-worker has unintentionally put you in a bind, because she has worked so hard on this, you not attending may be a big insult (why not go???just for a bit...) Also by not going, you are bypassing the planned gift of attendence (meal, drink, cake) and they in return they expect a gift for the honored bride and groom. Get an inexpensive gift and if you choose to not go, provide one hell of an excuse as to why you can't, so you don't upset your good friend and co-worker. Good luck!
2007-06-15 14:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by Kay 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Since this wedding is being given by a friend of yours from work and you respect her and because it's always nice to do things for those you work with, just go.
You can be respectful of your friend by attending and giving a nice gift.Either something off the registry or a good amount of mney.[ at least $50 per person ]
2007-06-15 18:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by Cammie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not attending the wedding, you don't need to give a gift. And you shouldn't be getting your coworker anything.
2007-06-15 15:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bride a gift card in a small amount, she sounds like she can really use it (even one to a grocery store, i got some of those when i got married, and they sure did come in handy) and take you friend to lunch after the whole thing is over and she can relax.
2007-06-15 13:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would give my friend a gift. if you go to the wedding then give a simple $20 gift card to a restaurant. if you dont go to the wedding then dont give a gift.
2007-06-15 13:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋