So, my bf and i broke up got back together and are trying to work things out. some days i think it can work, some days i for sure think it won't work out. we broke up for a week about 2 weeks ago, took a week off, then talked and are working on it. During that week off, i made plans to go to dinner with an ex. I've told the ex what is going on, told him i'm not ready for anything at all, but that we can be freinds and go to dinner. He's driving 2 hours to see me, i told him he can't stay with me. Sounds ok so far, but he's totally confessed to me that he wants us to start dating again. that he misses me, and wants me in his life. i love my bf, but he doesn't put much effort into the relationship, my ex would. i'm not trying to compare them, but i'm just not sure if i should go to dinner with the ex, is it a bad idea? i'm not telling my bf no matter what, although he had dinner with his ex a month ago and i found out. ah... help!
2007-06-15 05:57:33 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be honest with everyone, including yourself. Go to dinner, that is not a crime. And then take some time ALONE to examine how you felt spending time with the ex. Do you still have feelings for him? Did you feel guilty and bad for your current bf? Who did you think about during dinner? Was your mind wandering as to what might happen with the ex or how much you wished your current bf was sitting across from you instead. It sounds like you and the current bf have issues, especially if you feel he is not contributing as much to the relationship as you are. Let him know that. If you can work it out great, if not you need to find what really makes you happy.
2007-06-15 06:04:24 · answer #1 · answered by firegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just doesn't seem that you're being completely honest with your ex. A better approach would to admit that you're having some relationship problems that you need to sort out and don't want to do him the injustice of putting him in the middle. Ask for some time and space to see what happens. If the relationship with the BF is truly over, then you are free to move on. Sadly, it sounds like your ex still has feelings, perhaps more so than you. Be kind. Don't take advantage of his feelings just so you can feel better after a break up.
2007-06-15 13:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jim N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is....Do you really want to work things out with your current boyfriend? If so, dinner is out of the question. Tell the ex not to drive the two hours. Your relationship is on the rocks....if you really want to work it out, then you need to do everything possible to make it work, including NOT going to dinner with the ex. Its that simple. If you decide to go to dinner with the ex, you should just break your current relationship off now.
2007-06-15 13:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by mommasquarepants 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't go to dinner with your ex if you are trying to work things out with your bf. The problem is that your ex does not want to be just friends with you. He's coming to get you back and that's it. And not telling your bf about going to dinner with this guy is just the same as lying to him about it. When he finds out, and he will (they always do) he's going to go crazy. If you are determined to go out to dinner with your ex than at least have the courtesy to be honest with your bf. Tell him you'd already made the plans and it's not a date at all. And if he gives you crap about it say that he went out with his ex and it was just friends... right? So why can't you?
But honestly... this entire thing is bad news. Skip out on dinner until you and your bf have figured out if you are going to make it or not.
2007-06-15 13:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you shouldn't be with either of them, right now. Go have dinner with the ex, but don't give him a single reason to think he's got a chance, no matter how far he's travelling.
2007-06-15 13:01:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well think back to last month when he went out with his ex, how did that make you feel? I would guess not good. I know what your saying, your just confused but remember exes are exes for a reason - there's a reason this boy is your ex, things didn't work out before! If you say your trying to work things out with your current boyfriend you've got to give it 100% and that inclues not going out to eat with your ex in my opinion. Hope my advice helps, good luck!
2007-06-15 13:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by clintoncountygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are going as just friends, that is fine. I wouldn't tell my boyfriend either, but we vow not to do that to each other in the first place. Causes more stress than is needed. In reality though, it is probably a bad idea if your current relationship is on the rocks. If you have faith in your relationship and really want it to work out, don't go. It isn't worth it because that could cause more damage. But then again, he did it to you...
2007-06-15 13:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by BabeDoll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest! Don't do anything behind your bf's back. I would tell both of them that you want an open relationship. Date both of them and then determine who you want to be with. There is no harm in dating multiple people...just have an open heart and who ever you like more is the person you should date exclusively.
Good luck!
2007-06-15 13:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by KR52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a terrible idea to go to dinner with an X that you know wants you back. It would be just a form of game playing.
IMO you're probably better off on your own and just dating until you mature more.
2007-06-15 13:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm this is a sticky situation...
ur ex is ur ex for a reason...u didnt work out..either u broke it off or he broke it off...but either way u did it for a very good reason...
now things may not be working with ur fella at the moment...but its really not a good idea to go with the ex that is just so bad...
tell him to go take a walk...
n if ur not happy with ur new fella tell him go take a walk to...
n then go find someone that is not an ex...
puuuuuuuurrrrrfect
2007-06-15 13:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by julie60988 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋