ok~ so my fiancee has been working really really long hours lately (like 17 hour days...) I now he is getting a little stressed about work, and then on top of that we are planning our wedding and buying a house.
How can I help calm him down and show him how much i love and care for him..
*we don't live on your own so i can't do anything really romantic...
2007-06-15 05:03:00 · 13 answers · asked by stephanie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
for all you people who are telling me to get a job~ i do have a job. i work a regular 9-5 shift for a HUGE *** oil company... so you can all get a life..
2007-06-15 06:05:48 · update #1
Hi Rowergirl~
we did make our own wedding invitations, our own cake, our own decoration and flowers.. my sister owns a flower store..
his boss is just an *** and makes him work long hours. he's a plumber and there are lots of new houses that need to be done... boohoo
2007-06-15 06:24:44 · update #2
Write a note to him about how much you love him and appreciate how hard his is working to make your life together wonderful. Address it to him and drop it in the mail. Have it look like anyother bill in a plain white envelope, no return address, etc. Even if you live together it will work and is a nice change from the usual bills or advertisements that always come. It costs 35c and some lipstick to kiss the letter. It might be cheesy but I do it every once in a while for my HTB who I live with when he is feeling stressed and he loves it. I've even busted him rereading them when he's feeling down later on.
Simple things make a big diff. Me and HTB don't have any money either with the wedding prep and me being sick. When he comes home from work I give him a kiss, tell him I love him and pet his back while he falls asleep. When he leaves for work every day I make sure he knows I love him and I ask him "what are you" and he has to tell me "sexy beast and I'm yours". It makes him smile.
Every once in a while he slips a little something extra into the groceries like my favorite cookies or something I've been craving since we can't do the usual flowers.
Also pick one day of the week like Sunday. Make a pact that no matter what happens you will not talk about the house, the wedding, or work. It's a great way to take a break and enjoy each other without having to go anywhere.
2007-06-15 05:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What does he really enjoy doing and try to make time for him to do it.
Does he like to fish? Surprise him by packing his pole, tackle box and getting him away for a few hours to do that.
Give him a massage before bed.
Give him time together without talking about anything wedding, house, etc. Just get together and do something fun, playful, to bring out the child in you.
If you live near the beach--even if its late at night--go out to the beach and splash in the ocean. Stroll on the beach.
Rent one of those paddle boats and play on a lake.
If you work close to each other--drive over there for lunch one day. Have flowers and his favorite lunch packed. You could go to a park and eat.
But more than anything just be understanding of how stressed he is and give him some time at home where he doesn't have to make any decisions with the house or wedding and you 2 just spend some time together. Tell him how much you appreciate all he does. Even though men don't act like it, that really matters a lot.
2007-06-15 14:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you live near a hiking area or a lake? Tell him not to plan anything for his next day or evening off. Surprise him with a hike or swim outside and a picnic. Being outside in nature is always really calming and he can't help but relax!
Just curious - are his 17 hour days in order to save up for the house and wedding, or is his manager making him work that much time? Maybe he can cut down and try to work just 12 hour days at max. Can anything be cut from your wedding, or more likely, be done more inexpensively? Say, do your own invites instead of having someone else do them? I don't know what your current situation is but maybe there's a way that he can work less... I know that's never any fun!!
2007-06-15 13:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by tink 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you describe is normal stress for everything you both are going through. Planning a wedding is a lot of stress. Buying a house is a lot of stress. Working overtime - a lot of stress!! Try to remind him how things will be in the very near future...all this will be behind you and you both have so much to look forward to, this should be exciting despite the stress. Try to show a lot of positive reinforcement of the wedding and house. Maybe buy him a gift of some tools for the house or something just for him to cheer him up!
2007-06-15 12:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The next time he has a day off, plan a day for the two of you. Don't do anything related to the wedding or your new house, just be together. Go to the movies, go to the zoo, go play golf, if you're strapped for cash go walk around a park, sit in the grass and just talk about nonsense! Whatever will be something you'll both enjoy. Obviously this is a very busy time for you both, it's very important for you to make time for each other, if you can't make time together a priority when life is hectic it won't seem as important to do so when it's not.
2007-06-15 12:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. The key to a good relationship is communication. Take him to dinner and have a calm chat. Tell him you see how stressed out he is- what can you do to relieve some of the stress? Does he want you to take care of more the wedding details yourself? Let him know you are there for him and that you appreciate all his hard work. He'll appreciate it.
2007-06-15 12:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by orange blossom honey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a date night...make it fun! Do something he really loves. I just got engaged and I am starting our wedding planning. We are getting married in 4 months. We made a promise that if we get too stressed (his job is stressful too) that we would go out and have a fun date night, we would include my daughter with the night as well.
Good luck and congrats..
2007-06-15 12:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by beth v 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do as much as you can on your own with your wedding and the house buying. He doesn't need to know about evey little detail...
2007-06-15 12:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Xanax
2007-06-15 12:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him how much you appreciate him and thank him for all he is doing.
2007-06-15 12:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by Kat G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋