Ok well, I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now and I dont see this relationship moving forward. I want to end it and move on but everytime I say something he starts crying and tells me he can't live without me. I feel bad because both of his parents died less than a year ago and he really doesn't have anyone left. I have love for him but I'm not in love with him and I don't want to hurt him anymore than I have to.
2007-06-15 04:33:16 · 26 answers · asked by «¤¦Råchè||覤» 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't stay in a relationship because you pity someone. You are not the only thing he has in the world, although I am sure he makes you feel that way. Talk to him again and tell him that it's just not working out for you. It will hurt him, but it will hurt him more in the long run if you string him along and end it later.
2007-06-15 04:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by torn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've been here, believe me. the best thing you can do for both of you is to let go.
this is actually going to be good for him. if he is crying to you, he is emotionally scared and insecure. he has to face his fear and the truth--that you don't feel that way about him. explain to him that this is just the circumstances and you can't change your feelings.
he IS going to find someone after you, so don't worry. if anything, having you as a girlfriend is good experience for him and it will help him find someone else who may be better for him. don't worry that he's not going to find someone or that he'll be stuck on you and never able to get over you. he will, it will just take some time.
your relationship will change and you will probably not be good friends afterward or for a long, long time. it will hurt and it will heal over in a hard way. but you will both be better off.
if you can do him one last favor, do this--break up with him in a way that is respectful and respectable. Meaning, don't IM, e-mail or text him. Write it in a letter and put it in an envelope or talk to him in person where it is quiet and you won't be disturbed. It's scary, but honorable. If you don't do this, he will remember you only as a coward who didn't think enough of him to tell him face-to-face. He will respect you more afterwards.
2007-06-15 04:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't keep dating someone out of pity. That only makes it worse, for BOTH of you. And I would be worried about a guy who after only 2 months cries and tells you that he can't live without you. His emotional stability is in question and he should seek counseling to help him cope with the loss of his parents.
If you truly feel that the relationship isn't going anywhere, then break up with him. Don't give him false hope and a false sense of security by playing him along.
2007-06-15 04:38:33 · answer #3 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation. You can either be with him out of pity and be unhappy or you can have the strength to let him go. I know it will be difficult since you care about him and he has been through alot. But it would hurt him more if you are with him because you feel sorry for him. You are still fresh in the relationship and I think It's only fair to him that you tell him the truth about how you feel. He may cry but it's better that you let him go before he grows more feelings for you. Then it would be harder for him to let go and for you to have the strength to let go.
I have been on your boat and was with a man because I felt bad for him. He would talk about dying if I left him and that was too much of a burden for me to handle. Just let him go before he gets more serious with you, then it will be harder. Good luck and God bless.
2007-06-15 04:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by voiceofanangell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's difficult. really. even i am left a bit helpless on this matter. so you've dated and have never been much intimate? since you don't want the relationship to move forward and he cries, the best way is to 'break it to him gently'. i suppose there isn't such a thing, but you should break it to him one way or another. don't let yourself suffer in the long run from being a saint and don't let him be led on with his romantic intentions. there's nothing worse than breaking a person's heart through leading him on.
tell him it was never your intention to hurt him. that your love wasn't enough to keep the relationship going. he'll be heartbroken, but in the long run, he'll understand why you have to do that.
2007-06-15 04:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by cartoonfreak25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this relationship ... You can't ruin your life to make his better. So his parents died yes thats horrible and sad BUT it shouldn't ruin your life and you shouldn't let him ruin it! Get out of there while you can ... Otherwise you never will and you'll be stuck there. If you do keep talking to him make it clear you want to be friends and thats that.
I stayed with this guy for 4 years because I felt bad for him. He treated me like crap. And every time I tried to get rid of him he sobbed like a 2y/o ...
I just up and left. No telling no nothing I just got my stuff and walked out. That way there's no crying, whining... Nothing.
2007-06-15 04:39:05 · answer #6 · answered by Rhyannonn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy sounds like he has a bad case of needing someone to be around, for support and care.... and it's not a lover or girlfriend he needs, but a good support system. there is a difference.
it's not up to you to heal the man, and what good does it do to continue a relationship with someone when it's not working? we can't force ourselves to fall in love, and sometimes we don't.
this guy is going to have to understand that it's not healthy for YOU or for him... because it's not.
the crying is rather rediculous, but he does have a lot of issues. perhaps he could use some grief counseling and other therapy.
we can't depend upon other people for our happiness. that feeling comes from within. if he doesn't have it within himself, then he needs someone to talk with. and the last thing he needs is a relationship. he has nothing to give, but is going to smother you to death.
2007-06-15 04:40:02 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm kinda in the same situation except i've been with my b/f for 8 years. you've got to get out now cos my b/f done the whole crying and begging thing and i fell for it time and time again. now i'm here years later and thinking of ending our relationship and the only thing that's putting me off is that i know how he'll react. you only feel worse about it if you leave it too long. you don't want to be in my situation so i'd try to end it as soon as possible.
2007-06-15 04:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by CUTEY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eeee. That's a tough situation. I'd say that you need to be honest with yourself and break up with him. Right now he needs your help getting through his tragedy, so definitely stick around and offer him your support. But you need to break up with him. After all, once your relationship ends, you'll both have the opportunity to start new relationships with others that are more right for you.
2007-06-15 04:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by Nicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are hurting him by staying with him when you are not in love with him and don't want to be with him.
He will get over you & the crying and move on in his life and hopefully find someone who truly loves him.
You are also cheating yourself by staying with someone because you feel sorry for them...that is no reason to stay with anyone.
You will both be very unhappy if you don't end it so you both can move on.
be cool...
2007-06-15 04:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋