I am having a baby in about 2 weeks and my 18 month old daughter is very jealous. She doesn't like for me to pay attention to any other children besides her. She doesn't even like for my 5 year old to hug me. She is jealous to the point that she will fight another child over me. Once she tried to drag a newborn out of my lap by his foot. Thank goodness I had a good grip on him. What can I do to make her accept this new child in the family without her feeling angry or left out? I also need to make sure I can ensure the baby's safety.
2007-06-15 04:24:18 · 16 answers · asked by el68niou1 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I agree with the above answers but I would like to tell you what I did. My oldest daughter is now 7 when my youngest was born she was 5 1/2. My husband and me went and bought a gift for my oldest from the baby. After you have the baby, at the hospital have the gift (something that she will REALLY like) ready and wrapped and give it to your oldest the first day she comes to see you and the baby and tell her it is from the baby
2007-06-15 05:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We just started telling our 16 month old son that our newborn baby girl was his baby and just repeatedly told him what a lucky boy he was to have a baby sis to take care of. Then we let him be very involved in her care. I drew him into everything we did for the newborn.
Remember, your 18 month old does not have to be 'displaced'. Her position in the family changes a little but so does everyone else's. You can interpret it as a good thing or a bad thing. Make big a big deal out of little ways she helps you. Tell her how much the baby loves her etc.
You can let your 18 mo old sit close while you feed the baby.
The best advice I received before having my babies so close together was to remember that you have 2 babies.....so lots of holding of both. I think I spent the whole first year going back and forth between them.
Also, remember that it will take a good 6 months to a year to adjust to new dynamics in your family...for everyone!
Do not be discouraged......
2007-06-15 05:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. I have a baby due anyday and have a few plans. Here they are.
1) spend time alone with older child... playing a game or having a picninc on the floor.. something when baby is alseep EVERY day
2)A indoor 'date' night. When baby is alseep.. every Friday night we will have our game, or dress up or whatever. She gets to help plan it and all week we will talk about our 'play date on Friday' after baby is alseep (if I have the energy.. I will play this one by ear)
3) When feeding baby (I will breastfeed), I will get older child to cuddle with me and will read older child a book
4) I will get older child to be 'mommies little helper' and get diapers, or baby things or just help with being a 'big sister' and helping out with lots of compliments and such
5)make sure that older child still goes to the park, and to the store for ice cream and the things we did before baby came. So she can see that she is not losing out, the baby can still be packed up and come along, and she didn't LOSE HER life
5)big tuck in's everynight with a 'you are such a great big sister I am SO proud of you and had SO much fun with you today'
Those are my plans.. wish me luck. Is probably easier becaseu my daughter is older than 18 months..
2007-06-15 04:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
my oldest is 16 1/2 months older than my daughter. of course now my son is 30 and my daughter will be 29 next month. what I did, was get a doll and let him play with the doll when I was washing or feeding my daughter. also let your daughter, help with the baby, by letter her get things for you, like the diaper or the baby's bottle. or when you are bathing the baby, let her help out. also have someone watch the baby and spend time alone with your daughter, so she does not think that you love the baby more than her.
2007-06-15 04:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by lover of Jehovah and Jesus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations and good luck!
I took some parenting classes. They suggested having the older sibling "help" with the baby.
The first thing we did when we got home from the hospital was to let the big brother hold the new baby. He was thrilled and delighted and from that point forward took on the role of big brother.
I always enlisted his help with the baby and he always took good care of him. He would bring me his diapers or blanket and would put the pacifier back in his mouth.
It was pretty cute, but he was never jealous.
2007-06-15 04:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by mommyof2 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first two were 19 months apart and I just made sure to involve my oldest in everything. I asked him to help me with the diaper changes (get the diaper, get a wipe from the container, throw the diaper away) praise him for his help with lots of love and kisses, bath time, holding the baby, getting the binkie, etc.
I made sure to give special attention to my toddler aside from helping with the baby.
We all gave hugs and kisses to each other including the baby and he knew we were having a baby b/c we talked to him about it a lot. Now they are best buds and worst of enemies in a matter of minutes!
It is really hard in the beginning but it gets so much easier and it is so rewarding. #3 came 3 years and 3 days after #2 and their bond is finally starting to develop 22 months later!
2007-06-15 04:35:17 · answer #6 · answered by Laurie Lou 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You defintiely should get her a baby doll of her own. My daughter is 4 and has a story book about a daddy who brought home a baby doll for his daughter, when he and mommy brought home their new baby...my daughter says "mommy, when you and daddy bring home a baby I want a baby doll of my own too"
It just seems that that would help you out and help her not feel so left out. Also let her help you with the baby, simple things (because of her age) like picking out clothes and getting a blanket for you for the baby, etc.
good luck! and remember, everything is a phase...she'll be ok and she'll learn to love her baby sister/brother ;o)
2007-06-15 04:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by jenaz77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can have your daughter help you bath and change the new baby.. You also have to tell her she is delicate.. I also had a play date for my daughter when I had my son.. I would take her to the store with me things like this .. Soon she will want to be around her new sibling all the time. Good luck and Congrats
2007-06-15 04:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by lovingu1129 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would make sure you allow her to see you at hospital when you go. I would say as well let her help as much as possiable with activities with her. Of course you will have to watch her closely. Your are such a great big sister being said alot. I would set limits for her by time out if she tried to hurt the child and i agree with one of hte other posters as to talking to your doctor about it. He may be able to help you with some additional advice.
2007-06-15 05:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by diane33michigan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try letting her help out with as much baby decisions you can. Praise her on how well she's doing and what a big help she is. Let her hold her new sister if she likes and praise her again. Every time she makes a positive decision praise her. Bad ones try to ignore her if you can.
2007-06-15 16:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by flowernannap1@sbcglobal.net 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋