Ok so we are finally married... Yeah!!!! Not without the nick picking MIL Though... Thought it would calm down after the wedding but now she is nick picking the wedding annoucements? She wants us to send all her personal friends that we don't know an annoucement. I personally think she is on a gift chase if you ask me (which I think is totally tacky!! I want to be given a gift from the heart rather then well I had to do it...) I mean do we send annoucements to friends of the MIL that neither the bride or groom know? If I got a annoucement of someone I didn't know I would throw it in the trash!!! We had a very small wedding (which she made very clear she was unhappy about - but she didn't pay for it so she doesn't get to choose.... bottom line hubby and I paid for every thing and I think it is just really tacky to send annoucements to people we dont' know... she said if I didn't do them she would do the herself? What do you think????? Thanks....
2007-06-15 03:59:38 · 13 answers · asked by Lizzie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wedding Announcements are sent out to people who were not invited to the wedding or lived to far away to be invited, which was a majority of both our families.
2007-06-15 04:10:39 · update #1
FYI We do not know these people that the MIL wants to send annoucements to.
These people are strictly friends of hers from work and her art class. We have not the foggest idea who they are.
2007-06-15 05:27:12 · update #2
Announcements do not equal more gifts. Someone may opt to send you something but they are normally sent out after the wedding so no one feels obligated to send you anything. If she wants to pay for extra announcements then let her do so just make sure you include on there that no gifts are desired if you really want to eliminate the gift frenzy.
2007-06-15 04:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am confused as to why you have wedding announcements after the wedding but anyway put the announcement in the local paper - that should cover most of the bases. If you and your husband truly do not know any of your mother in law's friends then by all means let her send the announcements herself, if it is that important to her.
She is thinking of this as losing a son, instead of gaining a daughter in law.
Just send out a thank you to any gifts you may receive and leave it at that.
2007-06-15 11:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hebrews 11 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wedding announcements have a specific purpose, and that is to announce . .
_____ and _____ (Bride and Groom's names) were married on _____ (date) at _____ (ceremony location).
Wedding announcements are sent to "friends and family members" of the Bride and Groom, and their parents, that were not invited to the wedding. The Bride and Groom can send out their own announcement . . or the parents can send out an announcement . . or each parent can send out an announcement "to their friends and family members only."
When people receive "a wedding announcement" they are NOT expected nor obligated to send a wedding gift (cash or wrapped gift), it is strictly an "announcement."
If you are not comfortable about sending out announcements to anyone . . or to someone that you or the Groom do not know then don't do it.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-06-15 11:35:52 · answer #3 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her 10 or 15 announcements to send to whoever she wants. let her write the addresses and pay the postage. my MIL did this with our son's announcement. I found it tacky myself, but I gave her a few and let her go nuts. BTW, they do it because they are showing off. My mom did it too, she made her own announcements when my son was born and gave them out at work. Don't get stressed, let them do what makes them happy, just distance yourself a bit from it
2007-06-15 11:58:20 · answer #4 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's fine for your MIL to want to send them to her friends-it helps her spread the word that her son got married Just tell her that she will have to pay for them. Of course tell her nicely-maybe even let her pick out the announcements you send to her friends.
2007-06-15 13:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by newjerseygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't send announcements out to people I don't know. For the sake of harmony, maybe you could offer to place a *small* announcement in her local newspaper. Just a thought.
2007-06-15 11:05:28 · answer #6 · answered by katlynnhow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An announcement is an announcement, and gifts are not expected. They are the proper way to introduce a new daughter-in-law to acquaintances in your larger social circle (including business associates and friends from art class). They might not know you... but your MIL's name will be on them and they'll know her. The average response will be to receiving one will be Mildred saying to her husband, "Henry... it look's like Maude's son Chip FINALLY got married."
If she wants to pay for the announcements, then let her. Keep in mind that she so approves of her son's choice in wife that she wants all to know. Congrats on this!
2007-06-15 11:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course you send out announcements to friends of your parents you may not know, or distant relatives you may not know -- it's the way to let them all know that the family wedding has happened.
2007-06-15 12:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I'm confused. First, you say "we are finally married." Then, you go on to ask questions about your wedding.....so which is it?! Are you GETTING MARRIED? Or are you ALREADY MARRIED?
I know how you feel. My husband and I wanted a fairly small wedding. We compromised with 150 quests because my family was paying for it and because it meant so much to my mom.
Look, it's way tooooo early for you to butting heads with your mother-in-law. You need to change your attitude about her and if you do, she might become alot nicer to you. She is going to be YOUR FAMILY so you need to start treating her like that. I understand you all not wanting to invite people you don't know. But weddings are not just about YOU, although you might think they should be. Weddings are celebrations for BOTH families and it's only natural that she wants to invite HER friends so they can share in her happiness.
If I were you, I'd sit down with my fiance and decide what is TRULY important to you. Is it really going to ruin your day if there are extra people there who are happy for you? It doesn't matter they don't know you - they can still be happy for you! I think a good compromise would be to sit down your MIL (w/ fiance) and say "We are happy to invite your close friends but please understand our finances and planning have been for a very small wedding. If you would like to have them invited, then we will need financial help to make that happen because we really hadn't wanted a large wedding. Perhaps a good compromise is to have the small wedding then have a larger party later when we return from the honeymoon?"
She will appreciate your honesty and hopefully she'll help contribute so YOU'RE not paying for all her friends to come.
2007-06-15 11:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Tell your MIL that she is perfectly welcome to send personal notes to any of her friends that she wishes to tell about your marriage, but that you will only send formal announcements to people you know personally. That should solve it. No one will suspect YOU of being on a gift hunt, but if any of her friends feel moved to send you something, you should accept it gracefully.
2007-06-15 11:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋