My family and I were preparing for a wedding, he showed no interest. I would ask him to give me his opinion about the dress, guest lists, food matters, etc. I get no response or reaction would be one of an annoyance. I confronted him, saying you don't appeared to be the happy groom to be, what's wrong? His response, What do you expect me to do jump up and down for joy". You know I was floored. I had a "get to know you" luncheon with my mother in law to be after the luncheon I knew the wedding was off. She expressed her concerns:how can I be a good wife if I have never been married, in so many ways she labeled me as a tramp because I broke up with him earlier in the year. I should have considered his daughter's feelings because she is A student, wants to go to college and no behavioral problems. The next day he put the wed off, he wanted to wait to get a better shift, third shift would hurt our marriage and without any regards to my feelngs as I sat on the bed crying.
2007-06-15 03:24:07 · 18 answers · asked by Moe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Forgive me for saying so, but he sounds heartless. Granted, men don't always get into the whole wedding planning thing, but to respond to you with annoyance is something totally different. It's supposed to be a happy time, planning your wedding, planning to marry the one you love, who loves you. It's all about respect, communication, love, friendship, and all the other good things. I'm very sorry this happened to you. I would let the thing with his mother go - some mothers are very protective of their kids, nothing you can do. Sounds like what she said is pretty ridiculous - how can you be a good wife if you've never been married? That's a new one!
It truly sounds to me that he's getting cold feet, or having second thoughts, the whole changing shifts thing seems to just be a story to mask the rest. Or perhaps his mother is pressuring him. I hope it works out for you - sit and talk to him about how you're confused and your feelings are hurt. Ask him to tell you how he's truly feeling. I hope you can get a good feeling from it. Best of luck.
2007-06-15 03:36:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a loser. Third shift will strain the marriage. Give me a break. Sounds like he was looking for any reason to delay the wedding. I'd sit him down and ask him to be up front and honest. If marriage is something you want in the future he should be honest and tell you if you plans on marrying you or not. If he doesn't he should have the respect to tell you so you have the option to move on if you want. He shouldn't keep you hanging around if he never plans on getting married. He should cut the ties and let you go so you can find someone who wants to get married.
2007-06-15 03:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by tender loving dyke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt seem you lost out on anything. Its better to call a wedding off when you have doubts then to go through with it and get a divorce. When you get married there shouldnt be doubts on either end. As far his mom saying you dont know how to be good wife because youve never been married - thats the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard. What did she want, a twice divorced mother of three as her new daughter-in-law because her experience was evident? wow thats rich.
You deserve better than a wishy washy man. Mourn the things that couldve been and move on. Get married to a man that wants it as much as you do and dont take less than youre worth.
2007-06-15 03:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by mrsNO 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is the loser, you don't sound like you did anything, most guys are not as enthralled about planning a wedding as the female is, just that this isn't something they have been planning and thinking about forever like us females do ( :. And his mother should not bother you too much, most mothers are concerned about their sons, but ultimately it is him that has to make the decision about the future. If he called the wedding off, you are better off not having it, think about had you gotten married and then had to have a divorce years down the road, it's a lot messier. He is ultimately the loser though because it sounds like he lost out on someone very enthusiastic about the relationship and someone that wanted to make it work. Give it time (cliche i know) but you'll start feeling better eventually and will be glad you didn't marry momma's boy
2007-06-15 03:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by happily married ( : 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first I was thinking.... Hey my man is acting like he dosen't want anything to do with the wedding planning either. I thought you were okay at this point ( because what man wants to plan wedding?) But when you got to the part where he wanted to know if he should jump for joy, hell I was floored my damn self!!! I don't think that you missed the boat at all. God don't make any mistakes. Your guy just want to live a little more. I was supposed to get married last September too but I ended up getting pregnant so It's this September now. What day were you supposed to get married?
2007-06-15 03:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Person 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he didn't seem to care before, what makes you think he will care after you guys are married. You didn't lose out. He's the loser! I know some guys don't care about the wedding particulars, but you asked him a straight answer, and he gave you a very f'ed up answer. I really think you should move forward from this. It also sounds like he may have left a negative impression of you in his mother. Which isn't good. So...don't fret it...move on.
2007-06-15 03:42:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Ma'am 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's the loser.
My husband wasn't very interested in the wedding planning, either. When I called him on it he said all he really cared about was that we be married at the end of it so I should do whatever I wanted. Your guy insulted you. He said, really, that you weren't worth being married to.
See the difference?
You're better off without this jerk. Oh, and you're also better off without his mommy. She's a jerk, too.
Now go out there and sparkle like the jewel you are. Rebuild your confidence, and let the world know that guy made a huge mistake.
2007-06-15 03:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by gileswench 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You soooo dodged that bullet. Not only is he a jerk, but he's inconsiderate. I mean, a little honesty would be nice. There is no way you can have a good marriage without honesty and communication so you are much better off without him. Not to mention, your mother in law would have been a treat. (note the sarcasm). You'll find someone else who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve.
2007-06-15 03:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by Shellie 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Consider yourself lucky. Your life would have been hell with that man and his mother. I have never heard of someone saying that you can't be a good wife if you've never been married. How many times did she want you to be married? Move on and don't look back. You can do much better.
2007-06-15 03:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what i dont get is where his mom says how can you be a good wife if you've never been married..WTF!!! Are you suppose to get marriage for practice and THEN get married for real? i just don't understand that mentality. I think you are better off. Like my best friend used to say, It's better to have loved and lost then to have married the loser!!!!
2007-06-15 03:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by jenn_sr03 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋