my 16 son thinks a man ,because he got a 19 knocked up?

Question

my son is very unhappy she plays with his head what to do?

my son what's to do everything for her and baby.
but she plays with his fillings

Thanks for all your answers,
Here's a lil bet more about my son and his family life.
Me and his father got together 18 years ago. His father and I raised my 3 children from my first marriege
His father and I had 7 children all together. And We are grandma & pa to 3 already, with his and his oldest
brothers who will be having anytime now. We never have a boring time when were all together.
My son goes to school and when his dad needs him at his jobs. He works.
My son already know a trade plumbing new home's.
The problem is nothing about him being a daddy we all love it. He want's to be there.
He's in that age group were emotion's are flying every where.
His girlfriend we like,but he is still don't have the strong shoulder's to support his own family.
She seems to through how he is a kid in his face when they fight.
So when he needs to finish school work it don't happen.
What to do ?
What to say?

Answer 1

What happened, happened. Nothing can change that, and dwelling on the he said she said is irrelevant as well. Not matter what the mother of that child does, we are concerned about him. So here's what you do. You get him to work ASAP. In the meantime, make him ace his schooling as well. Make sure you stress that college is definite, unless he is more of a hands on (not with the ladies mind you, as he has proven) but with tools then maybe something in construction, mechanics is his thing. The bottom line: For the next 18 years, he needs to do everything he can to support with the kid, if she is a megajerk, doesnt matter, his concentration is on his future, with himself, and this kid. When he goes to see his kid it should all be regarding the kid, not her. She is just a baby sitter now as far as he is concerned, or will be eventually assuming by the way that he is expressing his feeling about her towards you.
Work, education, bonding with child, ignoring mothers rants. If he does these things, he will not only have accomplished all that he needs to in life, but will also have made himself a respectable caring parent as well.

If he starts slacking, kick his butt! He made the choice, make him responsible for his choices. This a life altertering choice that he made and now has to live with it. The question now is, does he run and hide from something that he cant or does he face it head on and do the right thing?

Your job, be a patron saint to the mother of the child. Not a kiss up mind you, if she slams your son, you assure her that he is trying (if he really is, and just be patient) other than that, stay out of it as much as possible, your job now is grandparent to the newbie and a firm parent to the emotionally vulnerable 16 year old son. It wont be easy but he'll sing your praises when its over.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Your son doesn't realize how much responsibility he's in for if he does the right thing by being a real father for his child. I was blessed to receive my first son 11 days before I turned 17. I thank God for him because he is a wonderful young man. He is now 16 and I'm only 33. I still have problems making friends and understanding were I fit in with guys my age because I was a Mr. Mom at 18. So a lot of the things young men go threw at that age I didn't experience in the same manner. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining because I feel if not for my sons (my second was born when I was 18 by the same girl who is 7 months younger than me) I could have went down the wrong path like a few of my other friends. My advice to you is do your best to not allow him to run from his responsibilities as a father. That child needs him the same way your son needs his father. The best success he will have as a man in his entire life is having his child’s respect and love. Please don't be one of those grand mothers who thinks about your feelings are your sons before the child’s. It doesn't matter how the child came here or who the child’s mother is that baby is still going to be you’re "GRANDCHILD". Thank about how much fun it is going to be watching your grandchild grow into a beautiful person who loves its "Grand mom" more than life itself. My mother is 56 and her grandchildren keep her going and happy. They love being at grannies house. She attends all of the school functions and ballgames. She was there for my 17 year old niece when she had her first heart break. It's beautiful to watch all of them together. So be happy about your genes being passed on and stay on your son’s *** about doing something with his life and always, always, always being a great father no matter what obstacle. Being a father has become his number 1 priority now. He doesn't have to sacrifice college, true love, being single, or anything else good in his life. The 2 things he has to sacrifice is getting in stupid trouble and being lazy. He doesn’t have time to do these 2 things. Take care and congrats on the new blessing from God.

Answer 3

Your son needs to finish his education. He should absolutely support his child, whether he stays with this girlfriend or not, so he will need a good paying job. He just sentenced himself to 21 years of hard labor. I don't know exactly what your question is, do you want advice on how you should deal with this? We can't make suggestions to your son, he hasn't asked us what to do, and hasn't expressed how he feels about things. You are evidently not well educated yourself, from the way you speak, I wouldn't be surprised to find you didn't finish 8th grade. If you can be a little more specific, perhaps someone out here would be able to guide you in the right direction. The baby's already on the way, so you can't change that. You seem to have accepted this child, although you refer to the conception as getting "knocked up", rather a crude way to refer to your grandchild. Maybe they should consider giving this child up for adoption. Short of that, I don't know what you are asking.

Answer 4

Oh poor kid! If he thinks he is a man, then he better act like a man and get a job to support the child. If you do it for him, then he will not be repsonsible enough to deal with it. He doesn't know what he has gotten into. Although he is a minor, there could be some legal issues here. In time he will notice what a baby means!

Answer 5

Just make sure your getting all of the story and not having it all come from your son because he'll tell you what he wants you to know and nothing more. I've seen this so many times. You should take the time out to talk to that girl because if she is pregnant then you know this is hard on her also...

Answer 6

I am so sorry but this is what happens when there is unprotected sex and she is going to be playing with your son's head for many years to come. I hope your son learned his lesson this time, because multiply baby mommas is no joke. God Bless.

Answer 7

Make him grow up and take care of responsiblity. Thats life women are going to play with mens heads and men are going to play with our heads. He dont the deed now hes going to have to pay the price. If he doesnt want to be with her thats fine but honestly if it was my child id just stand by and support him not if he was goign to not take care of the baby but if he was not oging ot be with her anymore then i would. If you support him and he dont take care of the baby then thats being a bad grandma and its not teaching him anything other then being a deadbeat dad. So please dont do that we have enough of those out there already!!!

Answer 8

Get your son to get full custody of the child when it's born and then press rape charges against the lady. Then tell your son to take care of his child.

Answer 9

i dont care how old someone is-if they help create a life, they neeed to help take care of it. if your family is tight, things will play out fine-but he definately needs to find a way to work and stay in school. his education will help him in the future. if she is messing w/ him, talk to a legal counseler-he may need to distance himself from her, but make sure he has visitiation w/ baby-with that goes paying child supports-if he thinks he's a man, make him take manly responsibilies

Answer 10

If your son has gotten a girl pregnant then he needs to be man enough to face the consequences. He needs to be there for that baby, especially financially.