I am a college student. My boyfriend is in the military and about to be deployed for an 8 month tour of duty in Iraq. I am having a hard time with this and was wondering what other women with military boyfriends/husbands do to get though this situation. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
2007-06-15 00:08:36 · 13 answers · asked by Sam 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Hi Sweetie :)
i know its such cliche and everyone involoved with or married to a military man will tell you KEEP BUSY.
That's obvious but I won't tell you that..What I will tell you though is to look at the next 8 months as a BUSINESS TRIP..thats the mind set i have when it comes to them being gone, accomplishing their missions and tasks and returning home safely to you. :)
If you look at it day by day it will drive you crazy and up the wall. you may cry you may get frustrated its all normal.. really it is..but if you look at it with a BUSINESS TRIP point of view you know for a fact when the job is done they will be home. :)
This way you have time to do things for yourself, your family, friends, lose weight if there's weight to be lost to surprise your soldier, :) send him care packages, and lots of letters, be sure to write on the envelopes, Letter #1, Letter #2 etc etc, because mail arrives sporatically and every one loves MAIL CALL :) So he knows which one of those letters to open and to read first. :) Make sure he knows he's loved and that you tell him always I LOVE YOU. :)
E-mails are great, you won't get many phone calls, but if you do get them, cherish them and never complain about anything thats going on in your life while he's not home. Talk about positive things and that you will be there waiting for him. The last thing he needs is someone complaining about their crappy day on the othe side of the world. :)
Chin up sweetie you will be just fine. He's counting on you to be there for him and to wait for him. :)
2007-06-20 07:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by cnn360coffeebubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can, contact the FRG (Family Readiness Group) for the unit he's deploying from. He can get you this information - both his immediate unit and his Battalion/higher chain. Not all will be friendly to you but most have started allowing girlfriends and finaces to at least get information/be part of the group. Be aware that there are some things they can not tell you unless you are married or are his Mom/on his emergency contact form. This protects him in the event that you break up - let's face it you two haven't' committed to a life together yet and if the Army/Navy/AF/Marines gave everyone all the info every time some of these guys change girlfriends they'd never get anything else done!
Write him, keep a journal, learn a new hobby, take classes for things you're interested in learning, learn all you can about the branch he's in for the future, exercise and find someone else who understands what's going on - hence the FRG. Or start a new group near you/on campus specifically for waiting girlfriends/significant others if you aren't near a post.
Take AFTB classes online (Army Family Team Building) these are classes designed for new spouses but can also help you understand the basics about the Army. I'm sure there are others for whatever service he's in - the Army doesn't usually deploy for that short of time.
2007-06-15 02:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by ArmyWifey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband has been deployed for almost 9 months. We have a baby, so she takes my mind off of deployment from time to time. Not that that was the plan. But it helps me.
Before the baby was born and he was away on training I was in school and that helped. Just spending time with friends and family really helps too. Trying to make the most out of everyday and do things you enjoy.
I never have a moment where I don't miss him. But sending him care packages, baking him cooking, and writing him letters helps me get by. I feel like I'm still taking care of him in some way.
2007-06-15 12:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by beanie_babymama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time my hubby deployed I surrounded my self with friends who would keep my mind off of the fact he was gone. I stopped watching the news and anytime someone felt they needed to report the latest death toll I would politely let them know I have enough to worry about already. I wrote my hubby every single day and sent it out so he would get mail just about everyday. I started scrapbooking too. Every friday night I would have all my girls come over someone would bring movies another would bring the pizza and I was in charge of margaritas. Nothing wrong with grown women having a slumber party instead of going out getting trashed and in a dangerouse situation. Don't bother your boyfriend with your everyday bothers he has his own problems (which are much bigger) plus it will make your phone calls much more pleasent and enjoyable!!!
2007-06-15 03:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by chuysprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to Armywife4life and His Army Girl.
They have good info for you. I have deployed twice and I am heading for a hardship in Korea. Not Iraq, but the last time I went to Korea, I wound up deploying to Iraq from there giving me 23 months from home.
Stay in prayer and write him as often as possible. =)
Good Luck
2007-06-15 02:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Q-burt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation you face right now is something I can't even begin to comprehend. You are in a position people right now are torn over. People who oppose the war forget that our boys are over there regardless of the president's political agenda. That's our boys. We don't have to support the war but we need to support our warriors and their loved ones. This will be the most difficult time in your life and if you make it through it will also be the most rewarding. Stay strong. Love him the whole time he's there. And squeeze him long and hard when he comes back to you. Just love him. And let him know many people thank him. I thank him. And thank you for loving him. I am completely touched by your situation and moved to tears. I support our boys.
2007-06-18 22:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by kwazeeme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are both in the Army. We face challenges everyday, we have both been deployed at separate times. The things that made us get through our deployments are communication, talk on the phone, email, send letters and cards as often as possible. For yourself stay busy. Do whatever it is that you do when he is there with you. You have to keep living life like you do everyday.
2007-06-15 06:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by Christy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy, join a gym if you haven't already, maybe work extra hours at work, join a club at school, volunteer. I know sometimes it hard to go to friends for advice because they dont understand how it feels. They might have sympathy, but never the less they can never fill your shoes. I want to say thank you for having your boyfriend serve our country, my boyfriend just left aswell so i know how it feels. Also make sure that you stick by his side. It's great to be with someone who is doing something great for our counrty and for himself. Dont listen to the others dont cheat on him, or get a lover. Your boyfriend is a real man, isnt that what you want anyways? Its worth the wait. Send him care packages of treats and also thing like black socks, soaps, baby wipes, toothbrush, deodorant, and shampoo's its best to put those in ziplock bags so they spill every where. Sen him tastefull pictures you dont want anyone looking at them and plus he can more punishment if they see them. Letters, lots of them even its just to say hi! It always nice when they get things from home, even like your favorite blanket that you shared, and maybe if you pillowcase, i heard they like the smell of your clean hair, when they sleep. Its as if your right next to them. Keep it air tight so that the scent keep locked in. Any other questions feel free to email me!
Take care!
Thank you for your support to him!
2007-06-15 01:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by XQZ-moi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wish my husband would only deploy for 8 months... my husband is deployed for 15 months, 10 down 5 to go...but you just have to keep busy,keep communication with him, write him, send cards care packages, emails...
2007-06-15 00:55:36 · answer #9 · answered by *Army*Wife* 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you near an military base But when my wife brother die in Iraq thy have many support group
2007-06-15 00:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋