Panic Disorder: my parents want me to move out?

Question

I came down with panic disorder during my last years in college. My parents were gracious to let me stay at their home, and I've been here for almost 10 years. I haven't been able to keep down a job, and I have mild agoraphobia. I live in a country where good support systems for PAD are non-existent, and the best meds are anti-depressants I don't care to try. I've recovered on my own quite well to the point where I don't get the attacks anymore (only when really stressed). But, I haven't regained the confidence to move out on my own. My parents are too polite to kick me out, but I can feel that they are hoping that I launch soon. What do I do?

Answer 1

Of course, your parents don't want you to leave - not until you are ready.

You have done very well in getting to where you are today, especially without the aid of prescription drugs (which are, to my mind, the easy option for Doctors - and they seem to create still more problems for their patients). You will have to develop a personal coping strategy for the really stressful times, but I'm sure you realised that.

I f you haven't already, might I suggest that you look up NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) on the internet or on a bookshelf near you. This common sense approach has helped so many of my friends to come to terms with their agoraphobia and panic attacks.

As far as your parents wanting you to move out - your parents really only want you to succeed in life. That's what parents are for. If you feel strong enough to go then go - but always be aware that your parents are ready to help and support you. You're extremely lucky to have them there.

I hope this helps you

Answer 2

I'm not sure what the panic attacks associated with panic disorder are like, but I do deal with panic-like episodes associated with autism, and they are usually caused by an unannounced change in plans. Because people are afraid of that which they don't understand, it goes without saying that there will be little forgiveness for mental breakdowns. So you've gotta find a way to at least disguise what's going on, even if temporarily. The best strategy I can come up with is to take every possible thing that you can think of that can happen and try to think of what you will do when it happens -- in other words, how you will alter your routine. Store it all in a mental "bank." It's not as hard as it sounds, because most occurrences in our daily lives are recurring ones. The ones that are not are usually profound enough that you hear people talk about them occasionally, and so if you pay attention to what they say you will usually have an idea about what to do and not do. Of course there will always be unexpected stuff coming along, but this strategy has helped me keep it to a minimum. It has also helped me to redivert my attention to more familiar -- and stabilizing -- things when an unexpected curve does come along. I do know, though, that these anxiety bursts are involuntary, and overwelming. So it's necessary to pay attention to the attacks themselves and know what you can and can't do during one. I try to think of it as being able to drive yourself out of a car crash -- the more experience you have, the more quickly you react to conditions. I can now, to an extent, delay the effects of one of these attacks -- at least long enough to limp through the rest of the day. Once I get home I can sleep it off. That usually means a 20 to 45 minute nap. Of course that's not to say I still don't have difficulties. Most people do not know I am autistic and so I have to be careful that they don't think I'm uncaring or unsociable. There's a delicate balance that has to be met between meeting my needs and avoiding being dubbed "special needs." I don't want to affect my chances of being able to interact normally with others. I hope that helps. I only know how to draw from my own experience so I don't know if that will help or not.

Answer 3

Is the reason why you cant hold down a job is because you have panic attacks? That was my problem for a long time. If you can speak with a doctor that is willing to prescribe you an anti-depressant some of them have anxiety relieft effects. Also talk to them about maybe Xanax or Klonopin. I was not able to move out on my own until I got prescribed Klonopin , now everything seems "easier" like I took off a pair of broken glasses.
Also try speaking with a therapist? Panic attacks happen when you resort back to your primal state "fight or flight" and your brain kinda takes a temperaly leave hehe. But one doctor adviced me when I feel "panicky" to move around alot, touch nearby objects to regain my "depth perception" and it helped me out ALOT!
Also exercise is great for it to, maybe try running around the block a couple times a day?

I Hope this helped any :) good luck

Answer 4

In some ways, you are a contradiction in terms. You say, "I don't care to try (antidepressants)" and then you say, "I've recovered on my own quite well..." But if that's the case, then why are you panicking over moving out?

I have recovered from panic attacks and I have recovered from depression. And my recovery is based on two things: medication and attitude. I take medication to control the physical aspects of my panic and depression and then I've been through cognitive therapy with a qualified psychologist. I've now been released from treatment by the psychologist and I only see the psychiatrist every four months so I am now stable. So stop trying to be a martyr and going through all of this on your own without any help. I wish you the best as you grow out of your comfort zone and don't be afraid to ask for help for your panic.

Answer 5

I reckon you are doing well... but you have a little way to go.

When I had panic attacks I went through a period when I needed a lot of support ( mainly from my mum and the panic attack support group).

Rather than stay where you are which is obviously sort of comfortable for you, I think you should work towards overcoming the condition even more.

I've been there and I know its scary but you can do it.

Have a look at my website which chronicle's the ups and downs of my journey.

Good luck

John

Answer 6

Do you have any close friends? Perhaps there is a close friend that you can move in with. Job problems? You have the internet :) Its the easiest way to a job. There are telemarketing jobs and more on the net these days. If you have a problem being around groups of peeps then it would save you of having to go out to much. Good Luck!

Answer 7

After reading your question...I see you are well spoken and even though you have these problems with your mental health....you can communicate very well....no one knows until they have walked in your shoes what you have been through with this phobia etc. It's so hard to suggest anything knowing what a big step this is going to be for you. I have just one thought that might help you. I don't know your feelings about religious groups but many churches might have social services that they could help you out especially in the beginning of your leaving your home until you can get back on your feet. Like maybe you could work for the church in exchange for room and board...until you can see things more clearly what you want to do or what you are capable of doing..just being with other people besides your family might just be what you need. Not taking on too much at first....Here in the USA...there is a group called the YMCA...young mens Christian association....they have a place where young men can live for a period of time..especially if they are in between jobs...after you read this if you would like to talk to me more....I'd be happy to hear what you have to say..sometimes just talking things out helps you decide what to do....I'm retired and have time to chat....best of luck...
Hugs from Mama Jazzy Geri ....under the moon...it's morning here....see ya.....here is my id if you would like to write to me:
[e-mail]

Answer 8

Is there anyone else you can move in with? A friends or family member? I myself am on Prozak and have yet to have a problem with it but that is just me. Different people react different ways to anti-depressants. Though Prozak is really more for anxiety than depression from what my doctor said. My case of anxiety came from an eating disorder. Another cure for anxiety is turning to God for help.

Answer 9

I think you should try to move out. I also think you should try the antidepressants, if you haven't already. I have personally used them for panic disorder, and they really do help. You may be able to find comfort in your own little apartment. You could find one close to your parents, and move out slowly, and make it a gradual move. You owe it to yourself, to try to live on your own, and your parents would probably enjoy being on their own as well. Give it a try- you can't lose for trying. Good luck!

Answer 10

Take care of your self.....what would you do if they were dead? You need to face it, the world goes on if we are ready or not. To be quite honest, we are all depressed and have problems, but we still get by. You control you, not anyone else! Get you a nice one bedroom efficiency apartment, cheap, and easy to clean. A job where there aren't tons of people and start taking care of yourself.
Leave your crutches behind and start a new life!