I've been in a relationship with this one guy for 2 months now. Lately i've been noticing that he really makes no effort to talk to me. The last time I saw him was Sunday night. It was really great. Monday he didn't talk to me at all. I texted him a couple times and tried calling but he never responded. Half the time he doesn't actually get my calls or texts because his phone service is really unreliable. Tues. I talked on the phone with him for like 10 minutes. Wed. was the same as monday. Thursday I called and he picked up, he said he was with his friend and he would call me back at 7 but he never did.
What do I do? I always feel like if I don't try to contact him we don't talk! We pretty much haven't talked this whole week! Am I over reacting with this? Should I wait for him to talk to me? I don't think this is breakup worthy because he is a great guy but it bothers me that I feel like I care more than he does...
2007-06-14 20:25:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for all the great answers so far :)
I just wanted to add a couple things...
I do know that he doesn't always get my texts/calls because I have been with him where I tried texting/calling him and it didn't show up on his phone.
This guy and I have had a really great relationship so far and when we do talk its great and feels normal. It's only been recent that he's been not so communicative.
2007-06-14 20:37:28 · update #1
The fact your boyfriend cannot speak with you because he is with a friend is understandable. But when he promises to call and doesnt thats a completely different situation. Promises should be kept.
Im not saying he is a terrible guy or that he doesnt have some feelings for you but breaking promises is symptom of not caring enough. Not calling is another example of this same problem. I see a couple of ways of dealing with your boyfriend.
You can either tell him you expect more from him and see how he responds. Or you can say nothing and wait for him to call you. If he does then you should "reward" him with a return call. If he doesnt, then dont call him back. The idea is to let him know thru your actions that you have feel strongly about him. But you demand he treat you with the same care and consideration with which you treat him.
If he really values his relationship with you he will change. Otherwise, you will have to make the painful decision to say goodbye and move one. Good Luck!!
2007-06-14 21:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by KhrisB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not gonna lie, sometimes guys do just get bored in relationships. Same thing all the time you know and there's just really nothing you can do about it. You could just try kinda being on a break but not really. Like just wait untill he talks to you first, it will suck not talking to him but sooner or later he will.
I know that there have been times when I have just gotten bored and then everytime they would call me or something I would just be like "ehh..." and then when they keep trying you just think like "Geez stop, i just dont wanna talk right now..." Its a weird thing and it does really suck.
And there is the problem that he may just not try anymore to talk to you in which case if it goes on for too long, just break up. It will be hard but it will be for the best, and most likely as long as you dont end badly you will be friends afterward. This has happened for me too.
Sorry I can't be much help. I don't really know why this happens either and I'm a guy..
I hope it all works out, good luck.
2007-06-15 03:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by hedgehog661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, quite honestly dump the guy. You said it yourself - 'if I don't try to contact him, we don't talk.' If he's making absolutely no effort to communicate with you on any level, chances are that he's either taking you for granted or just not interested.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but you don't deserve to be treated like that. You should be in a relationship where the guy is the one clamoring after you and not making up excuses like his phone service is unreliable (which I'm willing to bet is a fabrication on his part... if someone's phone service is unreliable they get it fixed. period. The mobile phone is the equivalent of a person's lifeline in this tech world).
Don't waste any more energy obsessing over him. Dump him, and get a guy who's willing to actually put in some energy into a relationship.
2007-06-15 03:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is why we date. We spend time with people who may be potential life mates. We get to know what makes them tick and whether or not we will even be compatible in the long term. He sounds really unreliable. You have only been together a couple of months. That is not a whole lot of time invested and its really early to be thinking about whether he is husband material. But I believe where men are involved it would be wisest to choose who we date by whether they would be good husband material. So, ask yourself if you would want to spend your life with this kind of communication and reliability. Ask yourself if you can find better. And ask yourself if he is worth marrying. You deserve to have someone you can count on and who doesn't make excuses for his lack of effort. You deserve the man of your dreams.
2007-06-15 03:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by kwazeeme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to contact him as much, maybe he just wants a little space. At the same time you need to let him know you have a life that is not centered around him by letting him catch you hanging with some friends or something
2007-06-15 03:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he's not calling you back or making an effort to talk to you "he's just not that into you" Don't waste your time with this guy move on to someone who will treat you better & who will call you
2007-06-15 03:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by happytrails 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...better wait for a few days without any contact!....let him know you would love to help if there is something bothering him...all relations are unique..fragile and rock solid at the same time...only time can tell...wish you the best
2007-06-15 03:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by raja_amer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply wait one or two days to see if he calls you then after that make an effort to reach him and see if he is really serious about your relationship
2007-06-15 03:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by crazy_freeskier_360 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a one way street or maybe he plays hard to get or maybe has other girlsfriends. Sorry my English is not so good I'm Chinese.
2007-06-15 03:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by susannah a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is great about a guy who will not return your calls? Dump him and deal with the rejection and then remember you are special and someone will treat you that way if he aint. but first you must treat yourself special.
2007-06-15 03:29:11 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋