im 15 hes 17 im about 5 foot hes about 6 ft. im about 160 hes about 230. physically i can not control him and i have a very difficult time getting threw to him that i have morals. i love him i do. but i have so many fears and he is a fearless person. he trys to make me loosen up but being with such a carefree person i feel i have to be more uptight for the both of us
2007-06-14 18:18:48 · 28 answers · asked by dorkk8531226 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
keep him on a leash
2007-06-14 18:20:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't control him; he has to control himself. Why are you even telling us about size? Size should not matter. If he can't control himself and respect a "no" in the end after he's tried to talk you into changing your mind and doing something, he has no business being in a relationship. For your part, you need to let him know clearly which things are important to you. But pick your battles, and try to be a little bit flexible about the things that aren't that important.
You could tell him, for example, "Okay, I'll help with this prank involving toilet paper, but there is no way I'm ever helping with pranks involving live alligators. It's just too dangerous. No way." (Or whatever.) A proper response on his part would be, "It's too bad about the alligators, but that's cool. I'm glad you're going to help me with the toilet paper." He should not say, "No, you have to help me with the gators too, cause I already told my buddy you'd hold the tranquilizer gun incase things get out of hand." If he tends towards the latter sort of response, this is when you need to tell him he's got to quit being so pushy if he wants to continue the relationship. When I was 15 I dumped my first boyfriend in part because he was all over me, practically humping my leg in public, and wouldn't respect my wishes to keep that sort of thing private. It was a good decision. It turns out that most guys are more respectful than that.
2007-06-15 02:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ambivalence 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The physical size and fearlessness is making you fearful because he is not being respectful towards you. You should not have to physically control him. Nor should you have to be uptight for the both of you. Stand up for your self making it clear that you cannot love someone that you fear (that is a biblical fact) and if he cannot control himself you cannot be with him.
2007-06-15 01:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by PrivacyNowPlease! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is called rape hun. I hate to be so straight up, but being with an older guy and for him to push you like that is wrong. If you have verbally told him and your physically keeping him off of you. I would tell somebody, or ide personally knee him in the nuts and tell him you said no. If he cannot respect you "no" then he doesnt love you hun. He could be just using you, and at your age you have lots of time to find someone who will really love and respect you for who you are. Dont put up with this, if you need to talk to a school counsellor or someone. You do not want to have to face concenquences if succeeds in preasuring you. Hope that helps, take care of yourself hun ~ Sheky ~
2007-06-15 01:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by sheky r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not try to CONTROL your boyfriend. If you loved him like you say you do, you wouldn't want to change him. You can't love someone for who you want them to be, you have to love them for who they really are.
If you have fears about somethings, its good that he is trying to help you face those fears...
You shouldn't be uptight...let loose, have some fun...do something daring (not dangerous, daring!)
OH! I just noticed something: you said "i have a very difficult time getting threw to him that i have morals" If he is trying to force you to do something you are against, don't give in, but give up. Ditch him if he's pressuring you into something you don't agree with. Also, hon, I must say...I am 17...I have many close guy friends...I know what is on their mind...and I doubt there are very many 17 year old guys who want something respectable to do with a 15 year old... Maybe your guy isn't thinking along those lines, but ten to one he is. Just watch out for yourself.
But, if I read too much into that...just try to loosen up a bit (about being daring, don't give up your morals because of a boy...you're too young for that). Love him along with his faults, not despite them.
Best of luck! Email me if you have any other problems! I'm about your age...
:-D
2007-06-15 01:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's good that you have morals. It's a rarity to find people with morals these days. However, you cannot control your boyfriend. The best thing to do is make sure he knows your boundaries. If he doesn't respect them, make it clear to him that he is jeopardizing the relationship. Just like a woman cannot make a man do what is against his principles, the same rule applies the other way.
2007-06-15 01:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You cannot "control" ANYBODY. You shouldn't waste your time or his trying.
To ask about controlling your boyfriend is a clear sign: You're not with the right person.
Sounds like you could both meet people better suited for you.
2007-06-15 01:22:33 · answer #7 · answered by kate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have the same issue--i'm 18, my guy is 21 and he's a lot stronger than me.
i was kind of scared at first with him, not being able to push him away etc. Here's what you do:
You have to a) be clear with him that no means no, b) make him promise that he will never make you do anything you don't want to do, and c) find his buttons. I mean, there are things that you can do to him that will make him relax. Maybe it's a spot on his neck, maybe rubbing his back massage-like, maybe his ears, whatever. Find what makes him putty and shamelessly exploit it.
2007-06-15 01:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by Rach 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you love him, but that he needs to respect you, and your wishes. Tell him that if he doesn't start treating you with respect, you will need to break up with him. Don't ever be afraid of any man regardless of his size. If you are fearful of someone, you should not allow yourself to be alone with them.
Stick to that moral character, and make him stick to it too. Tell him that if you had been the type of girl to jump into bed with a guy, he would not have respected you in the first place.
2007-06-15 01:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you feel you need to control him? Already trying to change a person....people don't change like that. He is who he is...and you are who you are. Either you learn to live with it or move on. Personally, at 15, neither of you can control yourselves. You'll grow up soon enough.
2007-06-15 01:23:43 · answer #10 · answered by ansells40 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't - ever - especially a fearless - unless yo wish to push him from you.
I know, i too am a fearless one - different than care free. defiant also, as I imagine he is. People like this also have high morals.
One should NEVER wish to control another - grow up.
2007-06-15 01:23:04 · answer #11 · answered by Edhelosa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋